Brooms

Many battles have been fought over Brooms

Brooms, also known by the Old English "broomesses", consist of a length of plastic, wood, cardboard, glass, or metal known as 'the stick', and a collection of twigs, straw, wire, or other stiff material (the 'bosom').

They are used to remove dirt and other material from floors, beat cheating husbands, remove cobwebs from corners, and in some anecdotal cases, to fly upon.

History

The broom was invented during the early Dark Ages by the French, who were looking for a good way of storing collections of twigs (fr. bromese) over the long winters as the twigs would be their primary food source. Initially it was an bunch of twigs bound to one end of a longer stick, to serve as a handle when moving the bromese from place to place. During the English-Franco wars, they were used as an ineffective defense against the English longbowmen, and several examples were seized as spoils of war. The first use of these bromese, or "broomes" as they later became known, in the manner of which we are accustomed to is attributed to a young lady betrothed to an archer, who, when presented with a looted twig bundle, tripped while carrying it home, and accidentally swept a patch of dirt clean. The concept spread like wildfire, and soon the "french broome" was a fixture in every household.

Technology

Darth Vader models the Saber Broom for Dark Dominion Weekly (and seriously, what's with the cape?)

In its pure essence, the broom has remained unchanged for centuries, but human ingenuity has created many unique and useful variants:

• Double-ended broom — Initially created to sweep both the floor and ceiling simultaneously, development on the double ended broom was halted after a spate of broom-related chandelier fatalities.
• Flammable Broom — Early on in the use of brooms, it was discovered that a broom, dipped in oil, could be ignited. The head burnt admirably, and the handle kept the hand well away from the flames. This concept was later refined into the torch.
• Broom Blade — After Sir John Broomington III attached a common knife to the end of a broom at dinner one evening to cut from a great distance he realised a new vision and successfully attached a bayonet to the end of a broom. This device the "broomblade" is highly deadly sweeping tool designed both to stab attackers as they invade your home as you do housework, but also to awake you should you fall asleep while sweeping as it slowly penetrates your gut.
• Saber Broom — Made for Jedi knights of the old republic the light saber brooms were elegant weapons from a more cilivised age. Very few Jedi were deemed worthy to use a Broom saber as only those with Jedi or Janitor training could use one. But with the rise of the empire and their hip-hop and lasers, the Broom saber lost popularity and has receded into memory. Today only a few loyal Knights use the Broom saber, these being of the knights of the balls table and the Kinghts of the Box jellyfish tribe.