Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
Highlighted Featured Article
UnColumns:Chuck Norris - Secularism: the single greatest threat that America has ever faced
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Uncyclopedia is proud to present an exclusive, never before published column by Chuck Norris, founder of the Chun Kuk Do school of Tang Soo Do Chopsocky, as well as wearer of the 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master in Tae Kwon Do, another of indeterminate color for Machado Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, rainbow suspenders for Tai Chi and a white apron in Tex-Mex cooking. Known as "the Bruce Lee of martial arts movies", he starred in films like Missing in Action (1984), Missing in Action II: The Missing Strikes Back (1985), and Missing in Action III: Return of the Missing (1988) before playing a Texas Ranger named Walker on the TV series Walker, Texas Ranger (1993-2001). He is also the author of The Justice Riders, a novel about justices who justly dispense justice, guided by their Conservative Christian worldview (the bedrock principles on which America was founded by the Founding Fathers, who founded America on the bedrock foundation of Conservative Christian principles), as they ride. In 2007, Chuck gave the commencement speech at Falwell's Liberty University. Five days later Jerry Falwell went to the Lord. The two incidents are unrelated.
He endorsed Mike Huckabee in 2008 in his bid for president. In return, Huckabee endorsed him in the All-Texas Chili Cook-off. Norris' entry placed third.
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The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“That was Zen, this is Tao.”
- ~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Advertising - Buddhism - Coprophilia - Dashboard Confessional - Evil - Family First Party - Great Commission Ministries - Hardline - ITSCON - Jebus - Khalil Gibran - Landover Baptist Church - Muslim - New Clothes, (Emperor's), The - Pantheism - Qu'ran - Reasons to become an Atheist - Santanism - The Divine Comedy - Unintelligent Design - Virtue - Worshippers of the Absolutely Amazing Electric Jellyfish - Xristianity - Yiddish -
ZoroasterReligious Articles That Need Help
Allah's law - Belief - Church of Awesomeness - Deity Election - Eris (Space) - Faith - Gods - Holy - It's hard out here for a pimp - JR "Bob" Dobbs - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Magnetism - New atheism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Rapist - Santa Claus - Trinity - U2 - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -
Zucchini