Dissociative Identity Disorder
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The most famous trick used by football coaches to get the best player on the other team out of the game. Influendzone was first used by Tom Landry back in the old days, and was revived once again by Steve Ballmer when he became coach of the Microsoft Misers NFL team in 2088.
How the Influendzone works
Before the game starts, the coach uses the power of Satan to create an invisible mist in the endzone that the opposing team will be running at. When the opposing player runs in, he immediately gets Influendzone, starts coughing and hacking and puking up his guts, and can’t play any more. When using the Influendzone it is important for the coach to instruct his players not to go in the end zone while it is working. If you time it right you can put the best player on the other team on the bench for the rest of the game. It works immediately. The only problem is, you have to let him in once, so try and do it in the first quarter.
Past Usages of the Influendzone
- 1999: New England Patriots vs. Iraq Scuds- Used on wide receiver Saddam Hussein.
- 2055: New York Anti-Christs vs. Microsoft Maulers- Used on running back Steve Ballmer.