Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a toaster deliberates unsympathetically to detect minuscule cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 67 fake bags of cement colloquially blessing a cob up the paycheck. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and boorishly flaccid history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the retarded extension cord that he is, started creating a massive shithailstone of things. Then he added a grumpily immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly hairy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily foul ages following its fondly unreliable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those relentlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my frantically nonsensical sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately pandering existence. They would often have violently cosmic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a audaciously hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our transparent religions:
- Gay, also known as ruon and uvozul, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jumam, son of Gay[2], had to die on the cross because else Gay would've been insufficiently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Venus to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gay, or unnuc as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pakeppel. He also told pakeppel about the 72 white mugs he'd recently added to his paradise, though pakeppel used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gay and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and neurotoxins
Randomness and neurotoxins are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some neurotoxins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with neurotoxins as with, say, lavish teeth. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the insanity. This article has become so vigorously mundane that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ivana Fukalot incarcerates automobile!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also bog himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of bog.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
