Cleavage
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This article is a flimsy excuse to get pictures of tits on Uncyclopedia. Don't change a thing to remedy this. |
“Bury me between those sweet hills, in the warmth of that sunkissed valley”
Cleavage, a divine creation[edit]
The worship of beautiful female cleavage dates to Biblical times and true believers still find it to be divine. Alydia has hott ass-cleavage! Boo yah!
- "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis ii. 24)
Sophia has magnificent Cleavage![edit]
Cleavage, Also known as The Force, is a state of mind achieved through the act of "cleaving", which consists of the three-fold Buddhist practices of Mindfulness, Lifting, and Separation. Some are born with this gift, others have to undergo great suffering to achieve it, and a select few have it unwillingly thrust upon them by total strangers.
Cleavage has long been a state that is known to raise a man's consiousness and spirit, whereupon he is able to perform superhuman feats. Those achieving the loftiest states of Cleavage are looked upon as blessed individuals, and such is their generosity of spirit that they are keen to share this state with others.
Artificial Cleavage[edit]
Certain unenlightened folk, in an attempt to take on some of the glamour of these most blessed of people, use artificial means to achieve Cleavage. These include AirBrushing (popular New Age technique from California), Tissue Padding and Corsetry (see Keira Knightley).
In recent years a technique called the Silicone Valley method has been used by many people, though it is known to have many dangerous effects and often bizarre results, see Tori Spelling, Victoria Beckham. A variant, the Silicon Valley method, is preferred by those who would never look a .GIF whore in the mouth (see Photoshop, no forget that and go get a life.)