Highworth

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“"A place to visit if you wanna get out of Swindon" ”

~ Swindon Tourist Board

Highworth is a village northeast of Swindon. It was founded when the "people" of Swindon attempted to banish the middle class people from Swindon, in an attempt to form Chav supremacy in the town of Swindon, this fortunately failed when the town ran low on special brew without the employed population of Swindon around to sell it to them, but still Highworth was formed. The name Highworth come from the english words high and worth, suggest that they were 'higher and more worthwhile that the scum of Swindon', a direct quote of early inhabitant William Hague (UK politian).

History[edit]

The Great Fire of Highworth[edit]

Highworth remains the smallest town to have had a Great Fire. This fire was started on Firework night 1973, when rebels set off an inconspicuous firework aimed at the 40ft paper statue of town hero William Hague. Within seconds the statue was alight and collapsed over the town catching the Highworth community church on fire. As the town of Highworth had no fire brigade, and the Swindon fire brigade refused to enter Highworth the fire spread, destroying the entire town.

The Highworth parliament of the Swindon Town Council[edit]

The pre-fab assembly in Highworth.

Between the year of 1991 to 2005 Highworth housed the Swindon town council parliament after exile from Swindon. This was because Swindon was divided in two halves, as a consequence of the super market wars, in the East was the Asda and co-op coalition governing from the Swindon Holiday Inn parliament, notably an anarchic state. In the West was the Tesco dictatorship, ruled from Swindon Bus station palace, an authoritarian, utilitarian state. The town council had been exile from the town, having commission the construction of the wall, and retreated to the village to Highworth to form a new external parliament. This was formed in a pre-fab hut on the town cricket green, with 53 representatives. This arrangement lasted until 2005, When the Swindon council formed an alliance with the UN, determined to recover Swindon for themselves. Air strikes began in 5th of April, over the course of the next week, the center of Swindon was flattened. The council then left Highworth to reclaim Swindon.

Planned Development[edit]

The planned construction in Highworth.

Plans have been draw up to create a new skyline of Highworth. The mayor said it should be a forward step for the economy of Highworth as new businesses will be attracted to the skyscraper city planned with 3 of the worlds tallest structure and thousands of square feet of office space. Currently the council who have planned this are looking for sponsors and patrons to go ahead with there plans. The largest current sponsor is William Hague, who the town planners have chosen to name 3 roads, 2 towers and a park after, being the town's hero and patron politian. The main criticism is that it is not financially possible. Also a main criticism is that the towers design are potentially not stable enough to stand the British weather. Currently the council wish to go ahead with these plans in 2014 to be completed by the next year.