Hot War
“Let's have a sexy party!”
The Hot War is the nickname for the war between Sweden and South Korea which lasted from 2009 to 2014. It was so called because, at that time, the leaders of those countries were totally hot.
The Dawn of War[edit]
Like most of the great wars of the 21st century, it all started on MSN Messenger. Susan Vermeulen, the Swedish president at that time, reportedly told Yuno Shihau, the South Korean president, to "GTFO" of her friends list at MySpace. A disgruntled Yuno then replied 'WTF?'. These were the words which started one of the most prolific conflicts of the pre apocalyptic era.
The presidents of both countries used slightly less than subliminal seduction techniques (such as doing press conferences nude) to convince the population that war was necessary.
Allied Support[edit]
Before engaging in any type of infiltration, sufficient support was necessary. As one poplar political commentator said: "Yuno and Susan made complete whores of themselves. Not that I mind. Both of them "persuaded" me not to make this comment. Lucky for me I'm a lying bastard."
South Korea's Official Allies[edit]
- Britain
- Germany
- France
- North Korea
- Russia
- Philippines, they love their K-POP and will defend it with their lives
- Thailand
- romaobia
- sam maitland
Sweden's Official Allies[edit]
- Untited States of America
- Vatican City
- Canada
- Tuvalu
- Don't forget Poland!
- USSR
- Brumbys
- Canada
- George W Bush
The Front Lines[edit]
Unbeknown to Susan and Yuno, the front lines were nothing but a huge party, as Daan Pieterse, the secretary of offense in Sweden during the time of the war, admitted. He also frequently explained to Susan why war is bad, and consequently had sex with her every time.
“It was the perfect setup. We got laid, and the soldiers got drunk!”
Although civilians generally knew of the situation, very few of them cared. One could argue that they were wasting taxpayer's money on parties, but this argument was usually countered with "so we should rather waste money on ammunition?" The fact that no one's parents, siblings or children died was a great plus factor as well.
“This is how war should work, don't you *hiccup* say?”
“Dude, you're so drunk, you actually said 'hiccup' instead of just hiccuping, laugh!”
The End[edit]
The war officially ended when Yuno Shihau fell head first into a blender, mauling her face and leaving it disfigured. Officials agreed that she was no longer hot and, as such, support for the war plummeted. Disgruntled troops were sent back to all their their bases with absolutely no casualties. The war was to become a model for subsequent wars.