Mortal Kombat Annihilation

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
That's Hot!

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation also known as "MK Annihilation" is a 1997 action, martial-arts, teen comedy, romance, LBGT drama film and is a sequel to 1995's Mortal Kombat.

Plot[edit]

The story centers around Princess Shao Khan Hilton, a greedy and spoiled netherworld heiress who with the help of her four generals; Martha Stewart, Wayne Gretzky, Prince, and Billy Ray Cyrus open up a portal into the earthrealm and resurrects his long-dead drag mother Sindel Lauper. The earthrealm is in danger of being absorbed by E! network and subsequently trapped forever within a Reality TV series within 6 days unless something is done to stop "princess Khan". Stuntman and wannabe actor Johnny Nitro from the WWE attempts to subdue the princess only to have his spine ripped out of his mouth, forcing Liu Kang and the other drag queens to flee in terror from the nether princess's awesome might. A guilt-ridden Sonya Blade enlists the aid of fellow post-op transsexual Jax, while Liu Kang and Princess Kitana search for a Native American drug dealer. They are attacked by Jared Fogle under the alias of SubZero who kidnaps Kitana and sends anti-smoking ninjas after Kang.

Jax and Sonya defeat the cyber bully Cyrax with the aid of Chris Hansen and the cast of to catch a predator, but after the bully is killed a small fart is emitted and gives everyone viruses. Billy Ray Cyrus is killed by Princess Khan for sparing the lives of Chow Yun Fat and Mama Cass. Raiden meets with the Elder CEOs about the Nether-Princess's spending limits, however one of the CEOs states that because she is a using a platinum card that her spending is limitless.

Kang meets up with a Native American drug dealer and is told he will learn the ways of the tranny only if he passes three tests. The first test is to pick out Caitlyn Jenner from a sea of Bruce Jenners; the second is to beat Cat Mario; and the third is to convincingly lie to a fat woman that she is a size six.

With the aid of a prostitute Kang gets inside Princess Khan's castle and does battle with Bob Barker who guards Kitana's prison cell. After strangling to death a hooker, Raiden learns from Princess Khan that the Elder CEO Shinnok is their drag-father and that she has been supporting his frivolous spending for years by supplying her with his platinum card which has unlimited spending. Outraged Raiden does battle with Khan, but loses. Soon Kang appears with his dragmother Sindel and reunites him with his boyfriend Kitana who makes out with her, infuriating Shao Khan who claims to be the true princess. To settle things once and for all Kang agrees to face Khan in Mortal Kombat and succeeds in boring the villain to death, freeing the earthrealm from corrupt E! network executives and restoring the status quo to spending limits. Later the heroes are celebrating but are struck by a bus driven by a deaf woman on the way to the temple, setting the story up for a sequel.

Cast[edit]

  • Emeril Lagasse as Liu Kang
  • Christopher Columbus as Raiden
  • Salma Hayek as Kitana
  • Paris Hilton as Shao Khan-Hilton
  • Danny Devito as Sonya Blade
  • Grace Jones as Jax
  • Zhang Ziyi as Prostitute/Jade
  • Margaret Thatcher as Shinnok
  • Martha Stewart as Herself
  • Billy Ray Cyrus as Himself
  • Prince as Himself
  • Wayne Gretzky as Himself
  • Jared Fogle as SubZero
  • Dana Plato as Mileena
  • Jerry Garcia as Nightwolf

Production[edit]

Filming

Almost 90% of the movie was filmed in the abandoned parking lot of a Texas Piggly Wiggly's grocery store.

Casting[edit]

Unlike its 1995 predecessor all of the actors in the film were computer-generated using state of the art 80's technology and Ouija Boards.

Reception[edit]

Initially the film was a box office success winning awards in every category and launching Princess Khan into super stardom.

Soundtrack[edit]

The film's soundtrack was composed by Danny Elfman with Madonna providing vocals for the films' computer-generated fight scenes. The soundtrack itself is a mishmash of punk, seventies country line-dancing, baroque and death metal. The soundtrack was nominated for eighty-seven Grammy awards but only won one.