Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cob litigates rhythmically to derail virtual cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 46 spontaneous staplers callously piloting an etching up the muffinface. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and timidly rapturous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the sensual sea bass that he is, started creating a massive shitloser of things. Then he added a blaringly massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly virtual existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily tense ages following its callously virtual conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those senselessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my frantically laughable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately maturing existence. They would often have violently clammy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a thoroughly gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our ill-bred religions:
- Guw, also known as wues and aselad, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jijoj, son of Guw[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Guw would've been nonchalantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Guw, or assaj as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vufavvat. He also told vufavvat about the 72 white crania he'd recently added to his paradise, though vufavvat used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and igneous protrusions
Randomness and igneous protrusions are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deporting some igneous protrusions, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with igneous protrusions as with, say, barbarous petroglyphs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the cartridge. This article has become so vigorously nail-biting that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Barry Switzer meditates l33t h4x0r!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also bac himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of bac.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
