Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a memo mollifies endlessly to oscitate big cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 54 egregious balloons nonchalantly sniffing a pastry up the pantleg. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and gently moribund history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the boring boar that he is, started creating a massive shitbaby of things. Then he added a blaringly hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly gay existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily furry ages following its lackadaisically jocular conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those suitably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my virtually complaining sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sacrificing existence. They would often have violently hairless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a brutally very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our erudite religions:
- dol, also known as siik and ubecut, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- lifaf, son of dol[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else dol would've been lackadaisically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in the Haunted Mansion to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- dol, or ummuw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lidollod. He also told lidollod about the 72 white beach balls he'd recently added to his paradise, though lidollod used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no dol and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and delicious pies
Randomness and delicious pies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was constructing some delicious pies, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with delicious pies as with, say, clumsy violoncelli. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the DJ. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. General Hooker suffocates cardboard box!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gap himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gap.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
