Sex appeal

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From Wikipedia editor Jumbo Whales

Where your donation goes

  • Motel rooms: Your donation helps get this guy out of our office and into more respectable digs, sanitised for your protection.
  • Condoms: Even in the top carrier hotels, one can never be too careful. In the worst motels, the ones our low-budget operation can afford? No user wants to go near the wi-fi, lest they risk exposure to a computer virus from a dirty laptop.

Greetings. I just wanted you to know that I am a Wikipedia editor - and I hear that makes me a really hot catch with the babes.

Unfortunately, I haven't been very happy since my goldfish died and whats-her-face ditched me, so I figured that I could use my position as an editor on one of the top five websites worldwide, a site dedicated to twisting the sum of all human knowledge and making the resulting wreckage available to all of humanity, to appeal publicly for a date for Saturday night.

This is my sex appeal. Please take a chance on me.

I don't bite, and the Wikimedia Foundation would be really glad if I found a special someone to keep me out of their hair and away from the office so that I don't endorse any more stupid initiatives like that bloated Visual Editor that the entire Wikipedia community loves to hate so much.

No, please don't run away. Come back here.

I'm lonely, and I'm appealing to you because you are sexy. Pretty please?

Regards,

Jumbo

Wikipedia editor

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Don't delay! The sooner we can get this guy out of our WP:OFFICE and into some random skeezy motel room somewhere, like the one we saw on "Cops" last night, the sooner Wikipedia can be rid of the one largest distraction to our vital core mission: creating an original, hilarious and funny encyclopaedia to skew the entire spectrum of human knowledge for all of humanity, worldwide.


DISCLAIMER: Wikipedia® and Uncyclopedia® are registered trademarks. "Jumbo Whales" is a fictional character. No whales were harmed in the creation of this parody.