The Wiggles (band)

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The Wiggles
Biographical information
Homeworld

Shanghai

Physical description
Species

Beatles (From 1967)

Gender

male

Height

~200 m

Hair color

brown/black

Eye color

brown/black

Chronological and political information
Era(s)

1990s, 2000s

Affiliation

EMI, ABC

The Wiggles were a childrens rock band from the 90s.

The group played from the early 1990's through until 2013 when three of their members were gunned down by Jocks.

Jeff's favorite flag.

History[edit]

Beginnings[edit]

As you can see, the Wiggles weren't the best when it came to cutscenes.

Sometime in the 20th Century they all bumped in to each other at a fete (apart from Gregaaa), only Jeffari sustained injury, but the next day they met, Jeffari now in bandages and decided to do what any other normal person would do, form a band. They went through a lot of names for the band before they came up with 'The Wiggles' and they started playing music at other fetes, the earplugs were provided at first, but as it went on, children actually wanted to listen to them.

This could have been the singer, but it depicted 12-year olds rather than singers.

There are many alternative theories on the origins of the Wiggles, but they aren't as well known as in which they said to have been formed when the Greeks started a birth plant under Aboriginal command and developed creatures to live in the East coast to be the ancestors of the Wiggles.

At first there was only Andre Keemstar, Jeffari Nonsence and Marracas Bam, so they decided they needed someone else in the band, Andre met a man named Mikail Jaskon on the street, Andre met asked him if he wanted to join the band, Mikail replied with "NYET", Andre presumed that meant yes and he joined the band as the butler.

Now all they needed was an actual singer, a manager and a kettle. They decided that all this could be found at the Wighouse (which was later knocked down to make way for the exact same building).

His first decision was to send them to Tea in the UK. There they stayed for a few months for no reason. They got mostly into fights and all their instruments had been lost while transferring them between Sydney and Tea (taking a day every time). They decided to go back to Sydney, while on the plane they lost Mikail in the plane toilet. They met Gregaaa Pagia who was an air hostess, who when they began talking he agreed to speak for the band, so Marracas agreed to take over being the butler since he wasn't important, and Mikail was thrown out of the plane without a parachute.

First Album[edit]

In 1991 they tried to get a media contract at "EMI" and recorded their first album. The contract expired after 2 beatlemonths so they tried looking for a media contract somewhere else. They had tried everywhere and no-one accepted them, but in 1992 they went to "ABC" and they agreed as long as they didn't mention it to anyone, because they thought they'd die.

New Albums and First Video[edit]

Footage from one of their videos, "This couldn't load".

Their second album ‘Song Comes A Here’ was a complete flop and only got to a disappointing Number 4... hundred in the Australian children's charts, they were on their way to jump off a cliff when they found other creatures who were willing to make them Gods. One of them, who was a pirate, said "What if we went onto the big screen, and could still get more well-known?".

They all agreed with the idea and recorded an album called ‘Chuck Norris Time’ and it was an instant success in Australia.

By the fourth album, even though not nearly as good as the first two, no-one actually cared about how it sounded. This meant the group starting experimenting with other sorts of music since it wouldn't make a difference anyway.

Second Video[edit]

This shared similar styles to the first video, but with new songs so that the band wasn't seen as a cash grab and new footage for the same reason as before.

The American Road[edit]

In 1997 they agreed to appear in their own movie and they rocked the history books as being the most watched band in a movie of the 90s that night with a staggering four 3-year olds and a dog watching the entire movie. The Americans blamed Hollywood since the camera angles were a little off and most filming in the trailer was cut from the final show.

Merchandise[edit]

Later that year some weird guys at the ABC wanted to make a TV series about the band. The series was simply titled ‘The Wiggles’ and was supposed to have 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 episodes. The series only lasted 69 episodes so didn’t really fulfil the objective. There was also a horrible-ass video game for Windows 98.

They then later filmed a video called ‘Wiggly Wiggly Christmas’ for no particular reason but to cash in. Around this time the Wiggles were in a hectic lifestyle, they had to expand their usual 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 age expentancies into 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 of them and that was without sleep and they had to clone themselves to go on a world tour, they never got around to cloning Greeees so they sent a completely different singer out. It was around this time that they made a second series with 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 more episodes.

Ooooh[edit]

Their next three (proper) videos 'It's a Wiggly Wiggly Death', ‘Safari’, ‘Mikail Bay’ were going for a rather new style.

However to save any other confusions that they might cause they decided to stop touring for two years and concentrate on their musical work. Freedom in the studio let the group craft the music of their 2003 film "Hey Space, Dan will sing!". It was the first CGI film to be made by the Wiggles.

They then eventually made another film known as Cold Spaghetti Western. It was received similar to reviews of Magical Mystery Tour (that being about 6.1235).

They eventually started touring again and by the end of 2004, they had released their live hit video "Top of the Tits" (named after their album of the same year).

The Hot Potato[edit]

In the middle of eating Margarine (not to be confused with the drug), it was Murray's idea to name their next live concert after their favorite food: Potatoes. The rest of them agreed, and in Early 2005, they performed on the same rooftop as the Beatles did 36 years before. However, it was here where they learned the tragic news: The Hot Potato man died of brain cancer. They were extremely sad by the news and buried his body next to Brian Epstein's body because he was THAT good.

New Leader[edit]

In 2007, lacking inspiration of not making remakes, they decided to replace Greeee of Samanthan which some crazy person loved and gave an idea of the next video to be a compilation of all Smosh lip-syncing videos because 2007. Arnold Schwarzenegger was originally slated to appear on the album in an effort to give the music an "edge." Though early negotiations with his agent looked promising, the high-energy shock-rocker was unable to come through on the offer because he died. He has since been re-incarnated. This album was later interpreted as the foretelling of a great workout video called "Yoko Workout" by Yoko Ono. It consisted of nothing but screaming while the camera zoomed in.

The Wigtles[edit]

From 2007-2011, most albums from the Wiggles supposedly had unnecessary Beatles references. The Wiggles denied this though it did give the band a dubbing of "The Wigtles" from Beatles fans who grew up in the 60s.

They then planned to make a movie called "Let's Eat Sgt. Pepper!" about the band rehearsing, recording and performing an entire video, but it wasn't very well planned and it took so long that they realized releasing the video "Let's Eat Sgt. Pepper!" wasn't a really good idea now so they left it in the hands of a madman who completely altered the play list and completely changed everything about all the songs, including the lyrics.

Meanwhile, Greeee returned to the group and the Wiggles recorded the last video titled "Surfer Jeff". They then did a short live concert named "Celebration" and Jeffari, Murray, and Greeee all left the group to be replaced with mediocre actors.

Slowly Dying[edit]

The Wiggles in a remake of "Hey Space, Dan will sing!"(2003, remade in 2013)

Before the group started to fail, a fateful telephone call was made to an obscure Minneapolis radio station. A Wiggles fan informed the shocked DJ's that a steganographically hidden code in the group's albums revealed that Greeee, the lead singer, has to be replaced with EmmmmmmY, an obscure punk of the opposite gender. The news sent shockwaves through the world childrens community.

It didn't take long to realize, however, that Greg knew this would happen since 1995. On the cover of Small Orange Truck, Greg is giving a finger at us as if he know what is gonna happen 12 years after the video was published. On the cover of the Wake up Jeffari video, Jeff is the only one that seems extremely excited, probably because he's the centre of attention, and he's the only one with a Teddy Bear on his lap, indicating that a rest is needed. It's believed only Murray was distinguished on these covers because whatever entity was responsible for placing the clues decided the group's young fans might have trouble knowing the Wiggles. On the cover of the Boo Boo video, two of each Wiggle is on each side and are all doing the same move showing reluctancy, boringness, and simplicity. In "Wig Time", it's a repeat of the first 1993 video showing that there is a cycle and there is a way to stop it.

Banana'd[edit]

The Wiggles cartoon aired around the same time (here showing the episode Abbey Road).

Greg came back to the group in 2017 to film the song Go Santa Go. It was eventually released as a single due to budget issues.

In 2018, the three retired members released "The Reunion Show". This was a live concert resembling the old ones from the late 90s. In this version, they had actually recorded the video at different angles.

"The Wiggles Go #2" was released to commemorate the grammatically corrected versions of each time the boys made it into the toilet.

Recently a Wiggles bootleg appeared entitled 'The Biiiiiig' This album is 7 tracks (22.17 minutes) of foreign music. It was originally thought that it was another attempt by the Wiggles to mock Manchildren by releasing work from the members that left the band in 2013, it has since been discovered that it was the lost tape for The Wiggles 'Kidsbop' hip-hop sessions where the Audacity files had to be replaced.

Fun facts[edit]

  • The Wiggles don't make sense
  • The Wiggles were inspired by the Beatles when the band was weird in the Late 60s.
  • Jeff Fatt is not actually Fat. It's just a lie that was invented on March 7, 1826.
  • The Wiggles founded the Clef in 2005. They choose the name 'Clef' because it rhymes with 'Jeff'.
  • Jeff was technically dead from 1994 to 2005. Nobody noticed.
  • At the end of Children Fields Forever, it has been claimed that Greg says "I Buried Jeff", but he actually says "Abaradeff" as a parody of magicians.
  • Greg was actually Jeff. The mix-up happened early on in The Wiggles' career and he was to embarrassed to correct anyone.
  • The Wiggles were technically the Beatles revived to an extent.
  • The Wiggles did actually exist, but as a comedy group that started on January 1, 2001 and ended on January 2, 2001.
  • The Beatles wrote every Wiggles song while smoking pot.

The Wiggles/Beatles Albums (ordered by date of release)[edit]

You meant this one, right?
  • Wiggles The (11 July, 1991)
  • Here comes a song with a bong that dongs (1992)
  • Captain Feathersword's Prom Night (10 August, 1993)
  • Yummy Yummy Munchy Munchy Time to Die Johny Lenin! (1994, re-released in 2018)
  • Small Blue Car will kill your wife when you get older (20 February, 1995)
  • Keep Jeff Asleep, Idiots! (April 4, 1996)
  • Wiggly, Wiggly, Wiggly, Wiggly, Wiggly, Wiggly Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Forever, Forever, Forever, Forever, Forever, Forever (6 September, 1996)
  • Useless Album (October 1997)
  • Haha you died in Minecraft lol nerd (1998)
  • It's a Wiggly Wiggly Heaven oh wait no that's offensive (20 March, 2000)
  • Took us 7 years to get to here (30 August, 2000)
  • Molecule be Wiggling (20 December 2000)
  • Yahoo! I'm the new search engine! (19 June, 2001)
  • Safari (2002)
  • Mikail Bay (29 September, 2002)
  • Jeff Needs some Money (17 March, 2003)
  • The Kremlin (30 June, 2003)
  • Top of the Tits (13 January, 2004)
  • SPAHETTTT (2004)
  • Santa's Paul McCartney in 1966! (2004)
  • Failed Live Stream!11111! PLEASE WTCH!!!111 (11 January, 2005)
  • Remove Kebab (2005)
  • We waited 11 years, mate! (2006)
  • We did this 10 years ago this time! (2006)
  • The Leprachuan! (28 August, 2006)
  • The Christmas paaast! (14 October, 2006)
  • Getting Fatter (3 May, 2007)
  • Overrated Songs (2007)
  • You're tingling me! (2008)
  • Surfer Jeffari (2012)
  • Dont Cry, Idiot (2018)

Australia Videography (ordered by date of release)[edit]

I read the news today oh boy...[1]
  • You're gonna lose your job! (1929)
  • Let's kill the Nazis! (1943)
  • We did it! (1945)
  • DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN (1962)
  • We got Time to leave (Also known as No Time Left for Losers) (1993)
  • Crunchy Crunchy (1994)
  • Small Orange Truck will haunt you for life (1995)
  • Wake up Jeffari (1996)
  • Boo Boo (1998)
  • It's a Wiggly Wiggly Death (2000)
  • It's 69 o'clock (2001)
  • Wiggle Rotten Sea (2002)
  • Lights Camera Oh No! (2002)
  • The Weegles (2003)
  • Some other crap here (2005)
  • Something very boring (2007)
  • For the worst! (2013)
  • The Three Lost Men (2014)
  • The Emoji Movie (2017)

US Videography (ordered by date of release)[edit]

He blew his mind out in a car...[2]
  • BAAAAAAAA (1995)
  • EEEEEEEEEEEEEE (1995)
  • Wake up Jeffari (1995)
  • Wake up Jeffari 2 (1996)
  • ooooB (1998)
  • Work, Work, Work, Work, WORK! (2000)
  • NAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?! (2001)
  • The Weeeeeeeegles (2003)
  • For the worst! (2013)
  • The Emoji Sandwich Movie (2017)

Filmography[edit]

  • Lol you got kicked out of Discord, Twitch, and YouTube, mate the Movie (1997)
  • Wiggly Wiggly Kremlin (2003)
  • Hey Space, Dan will sing (2003)
  • Stock images make Cold Spaghetti in Italy (2004)
  1. Part of Lyrics to "A Day in the Life" (1967).
  2. Another part of "A Day in the Life" (1967)