UnNews:Polish study shows 9 out of 10 males are lesbian

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15 June 2011

Prof. Kawowski is a lascivious lesbian

SKWIERZYNA, Poland -- Researchers at the University of Skwierzyna, a small town in the far western province of Lubuskie in Poland, have completed a three week study of sexual orientation in 10 male subjects. The study has proved conclusively that 9 out of 10 males are lesbians.

British critics of the program poured scorn on the findings and branded the Skwierzynan researchers as “daft”. A spokesperson for the British scientists group, Blind Faith, told UnNews that the Polish researchers were simply wrong. No man has ever been diagnosed as a lesbian.

But the Polish scientists, led by Prof. Dr. Lech Roch Kawowski of the University in Skwierzyna, pointed to the literal definition of lesbian as one who is sexually attracted to females. And the tests carried out in Poland proved conclusively that 9 out of 10 males interviewed much-preferred women as sexual partners – a clear sign of lesbianism.

Yank Willy, of the British Poof’s Vanguard, told the media that he and the members of his congregation were most certainly not lesbian because they did not fancy females as sexual partners; they unanimously voted in favor of a sexual preference for males.

Prof. Kawowski opined that the Poof Vanguard did not represent the male majority, and, in fact, they belonged to that small group of males who were simply not lesbians. “Not everybody is born a lesbian!” the Professor concluded.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.