UnScripts:Mad Max: Fury Road

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search


Mad Max's car (not pictured, Mad Max)

The Desert

Mad Max (Mad Tom Hardy) stands beside his car, which sits beside a road, all in a parched, post-Holocaust wasteland. Max eats a lizard and gazes at his car.

Mad Max: “My car.”

Lunchbreak over, Max gets in his car and drives away in his car, which he’s in.

Suddenly bad guys appear and chase him in his car which he is driving and is also in. The bad guys make Max (and his car) crash.

Mad Max: “My car!”

They steal his car.

Mad Max: “My car!”

They steal him...

Mad Max: ”My me!”

...and take him back to their base, Immortan Joe’s Citadel and Pre-Owned Auto Emporium.

Immortan Joe’s Citadel [Interior]

After they arrive they chain him up, upside down, with chains that are chained to a cage, which is chained to itself. His car is elsewhere.

Mad Max: “My car!”

Max escapes. Later, the opposite of that.

Mad Max: “My car!”

Charlize Furiosa's War Wagon. Like her, it takes shit from no man! Also like her, it gets stuck, sometimes, and if you shake it around too much the back end falls off and explodes. Also, men like riding inside her as much as she likes riding inside herself. This metaphor is strained.

Immortan Joe’s Citadel [Outerior]

Immortan Joe gives people some water. They’re so desperate for it that they have in no way prepared for it, and let it all spill on the ground.

Immortan Joe: ”Do not become addicted to this water I just teased you with!”

Then a truck and some cars are lowered by crane from the oddly-placed rooftop garage, and Charlize Furiosa (Charlize Theron) gets in a truck and drives the truck that she’s in back out to the desert where Max was earlier. Other people get in the other cars, and follow her to the same desert.

The Desert

Charlize Furiosa: ”I’ve got a truck! Vroom! Vroom!”

Charlize Furiosa’s Sidekick: ”To Gas Town, where we will get gas for our truck that I am on but not driving or riding in!”

She takes the convoy partway to Gas Town before turning, to not Gas Town.


This Cadillac is the Cadillac of automobiles. It's so Cadillac that it's two Cadillacs.

Immortan Joe’s Citadel [Interior]

Immortan Joe’s son, Li’l Joe, agonizingly and nauseatingly twists and stretches to peer through a telescope, and sees the convoy divert.

Li’l Joe: ”The truck has turned!”

Immortan Joe’s other son, Rictus Joe, quizzed the first son.

Rictus Joe: ”And the cars?”

Li'l Joe agonizingly and nauseatingly twists and stretches to peer through the telescope again.

Li’l Joe: ”The cars have also turned!”

Rictus Joe: ”And the rest of the cars?”

Li'l Joe agonizingly and nauseatingly twists and stretches to peer through the telescope once more.

Li’l Joe: ”The rest of the cars have also turned!”

The junior Joes are as aghast as they are big, and they are plenty big. Except for the little one, who is also appropriately aghast, but is plenty small instead of plenty big.

Rictus Joe: ”I’ve got to get my car!”

The big one rushes off to tell Immortan Joe of this convoy-related redirectioning. After being told, Immortan Joe, sensing deeper chicanery, rushes off to his wives, who are as not there as they are not there, and they’re plenty not there.

Immortan Joe: ”To the other cars!”

When your car chase needs a guitar solo (eg: all the time), think Doof Wagon.

Immortan Joe’s Citadel [Interior], Garage

A War Boy, Nux (Nicholas Hoult), straps Mad Max to the hood of a car, and joins the other cars in the car chase that they’re going to.

Nux: ”My car!”

Mad Max: ”A car!”

The Desert

Charlize Furiosa, still driving her truck, is revealed to be hiding Immortan Joe’s wives in the truck that she’s driving, hidden in the hidden compartment in the truck that they’re in; a compartment so hidden, in fact, that it's only visible from every angle except from inside the cab. Instead of Gas Town, she’s heading to the fondly-remembered home of her youth, where everything is clean and alive and not dying and this one time she chased a butterfly and everything!

Wives: ”Are we free?”

Charlize Furiosa ”Soon. We just have to lose Immortan Joe and his cars that are chasing our cars in a car chase with cars. Then we’ll return to the matriarchal lesbocracy of my youth, Utopia.”

Wives: ”Oh, no! Different cars from a different tribe are also chasing us!”

Cars chase other cars, destroying some cars and not destroying others. Mad Max is still on the hood of one of them, not driving, while Charlize Furiosa continues to drive the truck that she’s driving. In, a storm crashes. Lightning crashes. Cars crash. Nux crashes, taking Max, and the car, along with him. The storm stops, and Charlize Furiosa’s truck stops so that they can take a shower, and Nux and Max and Nux's car door but not Nux's car catch up to her and her wives and their shower and her truck.

Mad Max: ”A truck!”

Nux: ”Girls! I mean, truck!”

More cars appear on the horizon!

Everybody: ”More cars!”

Max tries to get the truck. Nux tries to get the girls...the truck. They almost get the truck but then they don’t but then they do, but Charlize Furiosa is still driving it, and she drives the truck that she’s driving in to a canyon, chased by the cars that are chasing them and the cars that are chasing them and the cars that are chasing them.

Truck commma Monster.

The Canyon

Inside the canyon, they’re chased by the cars that are chasing them. Some bikers on bikes appear, chase them, chase Immortan Joe's cars, chase themselves, and generally get destroyed.

Bikers ”We should’ve had cars!”

Max and Charlize Furiosa and Nux and the brides make it through the canyon, while the remaining bikers on bikes get destroyed destroying the canyon.

Everybody: ”Hurray! Our car remains!”

But Immortan Joe drives over the collapsed canyon in his Monster Car, chasing them even more! And also the rest of the tribes are also there in their cars also!

Max and Charlize Furiosa and Nux and the brides get away, driving in to a gooey swamp of some kind.

Tanks are like assholes, everybody's got one. And by "everybody" we mean "this one guy".

Gooey Swamp of Some Kind That's Also Foggy But Only at Night

Their truck gets stuck.

Everybody: ”Our truck!”

The tribes of cars catch up to them, then chase them further, but Max et al aren’t moving so it’s not much of a chase. Max slows the tribes in their cars by wandering off in to the fog toward them then coming back, then Charlize Furiosa shoots near a guy in the one car Max didn’t stop, blinding him, and stops the whole chase down cold.

Everybody: ”Back to our truck!”

They get unstuck.

Everybody: ”Our truck! To Utopia!”

They drive to Utopia.

Utopia

They get to Utopia, but it’s not as nice as Charlize Furiosa remembers it. And also Utopia was the swamp where they were but aren't anymore. Charlize Furiosa is so disappointed that she takes off her robot arm, and also she has a robot arm, which we would’ve mentioned earlier but it’s dumb and also not a car so we forgot about it.

Charlize Furiosa: ”We have to drive across the desert, but a much, much bigger desert than the one we just drove across, and instead of this truck which has all the fuel we need to get to the other side but ironically won't survive the journey we will take these bikes which will survive the journey but can't carry enough fuel to get to the other side. And also even if we make it across to the other side, which we can't, we don't know what's on the other side, or even if there is an other side. In short, if we follow my plan we will all die. It’s our only chance.”

The rest of the gang is skeptical of this plan. Max is so skeptical that he convinces everyone to go all the way back to where they started.

They do that.

The Desert

Following another car chase, a car chase and a car chase, they get there.


Immortan Joe’s Citadel [Outerior]

As Charlize Furiosa finishes overthrowing the Patriarchy, Max leaves, on foot, to find a car.

Featured.png
Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 15 January 2016
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Template:FA/15 January 2016