User:Zana Dark/…·°º•ø®@»
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I've Been Thinking Lately...
And I think you should try it. Think about it. It makes sense. |
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The Dildos |
| Banana | Cigar | Cucumber | Dildo | Dildo of Doom | Dildo plantation | Penis | Vibrator |
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Bacon Products |
| Bacon | Bacon fat | Bacon Shrub | Choco-Butter-Cheez-Bac'n Pops | Pork Products | Pigs | |
| People Named Bacon | |
| Richard Bacon | Kevin Bacon | |
| All things Bacon | |
| Bacon's Rebellion | Bacon and Cheese Sandwich of 1905 | BLT |
I ain't Ja Mama, I ain't ya Sistah, I ain't ya Grand Mammy neither!
I am Aunt Jemima and I coined that 'ol SOB!!
Fo shizzle my nizzle Snoop Dogg ain't got nuthin on me!
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The 12 Fundamental Cheeses | ||||
Feta*
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Fromunda
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| *Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese | |||||
| The 3 Noble Cheeses | |||||
| *Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta" | |||||
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People named "Captain" |
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America - Atheist - Autofellatio - Beefheart - Bligh - Britain - Canada - Caveman - Communist - Feathersword - Hook - Irrelevant - Janeway - Kaptainskye - Kirk - Knuckles - Marvel - Morgan - Oblivious - Obvious - Omnipotent - Planet - Selfish - Sisko - Video |
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Divinatory Arts and Artists |
| Antropomorphing | Astrology | Augury | Ball gazing | Clairvoyance | Dice | Fortune cookies | Ghostly Seers | Magic 8-Ball | Monopoly | Nostradamus | Numerology | Palmistry | Phrenology | Precognition | Prophecy | Psychic | Scatomancy | Tarot | Telepathy | Wiccans |
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All Things Sausage | |||
| Other Sausage Related Things | ||||
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Chicken Soup for the Eyes |
| Asparagus | Awesomesauce | Baby food | Bacon | Boogers | Butter | Cafeteria food | Cake | Caviar | Cheese | Chicken | Chicken 2 | Chicken Tikka Masala | Codpiece | Corn | Cornbread | Cornflakes | Crunchy Beaver with Pine Gum Coulis | Fantastik flavored hallucinogenic ham with Uranium seasoning | Fluff | French bikinis | Fried Chicken | Fudge | Goa Tse | Guacamole | Ice Cream | Hot Dog | Kimchi | Knuckle sandwich | Krispy Kreme | Meatloaf | Magic mushroom | Mangos | Mission burrito | Moruga Scorpion Chili | Nutella | Orange sherbet | Peanut butter | Pie | Pills | Pink slime | Pudding | Pease pudding | Rice Pudding | Rocky Mountain Oysters | Sauce | Smörgåsbord | Spam | Sunny D | Turd burgers |
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| Internet - Internets - World Wide Web | |||
| Browsers | Internet Explorer - Safari - Maozilla - Mozilla Firefox - Google Chrome | ||
| Formats |
HTML - SGML - JavaScript ~ Image files: PNG - SVG | ||
| Consortiums | W3C | ||
The Sophia Awards
~o~
Oh Sophia is
Such a Beauty to Be Held
In Both of Your Hands
~o~
| : : The Formatting Genie Says : :
Don't hate me because I am beautiful, envy me for my talent.
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~ The Formatting Genie Was Here ~
Oh, praise Sophia! That looks much better now...
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The Formatting Genie Loves Templates
Congratulations! You've officially graduated from Sophia Loren's Templating Academy.
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The Formatting Genie Read Something...
It might have been an article you wrote, or maybe she's just laughing at you.
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| No, seriously go on, I'm intrigued...
Apparently, you wrote an article so vaguely vanity that the Formatting Genie actually cares to read more.
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| " Not Now, I'm Naked... "
Oops, perhaps you should check back some other time.
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Nice pen you got there...
Sophia especially likes the way you rewrote that.
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| " Whew! That was a close one..."
It's a good thing you were here to revert that vandalism.
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| Sophia Loren has a thing for awesome journalism
Especially if it's a cover story with compelling diction.
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| The Awards within an Award Template! | |||
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| The Graduated Noob Cage Fighter Award Templates! | 
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| The FINAL FANTASY SOPIA LOREN Award!
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The Purple Nurple Template Archive
They should be very proud of themselves for that.
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Let Me Tell You Something, Pendejo -
You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click." |
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:: THE RANDOM POSTCARD :: |
Line1 Line2 -sigLine |
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:: WOW :: |
I banned Zana Dark and all I got was this lousy template. |
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All About Facial Hair |
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Beard ~ Bearded dragon ~ Beardism ~ False Moustache ~ Fu Manchu ~ Goatee ~ Moustache ~ Moustache-o-meter ~ Mustaches of Legend ~ Sideburns ~ Unibrow | |
| Famous People with Famouser Facial Hair | |
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Abraham Lincoln ~ Adolf Hitler ~ Blackbeard ~ Frank Zappa ~ Freddie Mercury ~ Frida Kahlo ~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~ John Bolton ~ Karl Marx ~ Sal Fasano ~ Salvador Dalí ~ Wilford Brimley ~ ZZ Top |
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SLOTH LOVE CHUNK! |
This article is better than Baby Ruth candy bars! BEWARE: Any attempts to edit this article may result in a prompt ass-kicking. |
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The Neon Blue Poop Award You voted my article I was so enamored, I ate an entire bottle of blue food coloring to celebrate! Thanks for letting me share my crap with you! -Zana Dark |
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Thanks for voting for me!
First the Goldstein, next Queen of UnNews!
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The Golden Monkey Award
You are hereby awarded the Golden Monkey Award for your outstanding contributions. I laughed so hard at your articles, I made this just for you!
Thanks for making Uncyclopedia funnier. |
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Jolly Black Santa's Christmas Wish
I am sure there are many guys who are bored and horny. Maybe you are on vacation and didn't go home for the holidays. Maybe you are married, or bi, or just plain curious about being with a guy. Maybe you are tipsy and feel adventerous. Anyway, I am here alone, a 42 yo JBS, two hundred and eighty-five pounds, 5'9", from the South Pole. Age, race, experience level not important; I am only looking for a good time. If you're serious, let's talk. No games.
Wishing you and yours a Happy Holidays and a Zana Christmas, |
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Your inner uterus says thank you!!!
For voting Frida Kahlo
 good enough to be highlighted on the front page...
Muchas Gracias, Muchacho! ~ Zana Dark (and your Inner Uterus)
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Better late than never... (and just in time for xmas!)
Way back in the day you voted Jesus stole my girlfriend
good enough to highlight on the front page!!!
Even though it's been a few months, your vote was appreciated! Please accept this velvet painting as my belated gift to you. ~ Zana Dark
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You Know, Butter makes everything better!!!
Happy New Year! To celebrate, I should write a special memoir or magnum opus, full of hindsight from the past year, demonstrating my growth as a writer. Butt yeah, that doesn't sound like me. Instead, I will continue to write things like I Am the Walrus and Mr. Peanut. That is just how I roll.
Thanks for voting the Holiest Substance on the Planet |
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Supplies Limited! ACT NOW!!!
For just $39.95, you can create your own most memorable vagina flashes with the Lindsay Lohan Exposed Vagina Figurine safe in the privacy of your own home.
Hurry and get yours today! (Pie not included) Thanks for voting the Crotch-Flashing Guidebook |
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The Walrus = McCartney or Lennon?
With epic 'staches like these, who knows? It could have been any one of the Beatles. Thanks for voting I Am the Walrus |
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This story is currently being recorded as an audio file by Zana Dark. Please make necessary edits only. |
| I sound professional and stuff! |
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This is a promotion paid for by the Uncyclopedia Legal Department. You are hereby awarded the two-cent piece: ( 2 | ¢ ) For your invaluable contributions to Uncyclopedia. This coin is very precious to me... Congratulations! |
And Others':
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This article is BS. Quit fucking around and please add some actual "content" to it. |
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Job Well Dude... Your rug really tied this |
