Ahsoka (TV series)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Ahsoka)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Ahsoka
AhsokaPoster.jpeg
Orange Jedi
Format Miniseries
Created by Dave Filoni
Theme music composer Kevin Kiner
Country of origin Lothal
Language(s) Basic English
Production
Executive
producer(s)
Kathleen Kennedy
Production
company(s)
Lucasfilm
Distributor Disney
Broadcast
Original channel Disney+
Picture format High Definition
Chronology
Preceded by Star Wars Rebels
Followed by Dave Filoni's movie

Star Wars: Ahsoka, or just Ahsoka, while also referred to as Star Wars Rebels Season 5, is an American limited-series written, directed, produced and created by Dave Filoni. It is set within the Star Wars franchise, acting as the second spin-off from 2019's The Mandalorian, with the first being 2021's The Book of Boba Fett. It also serves as a continuation of the animated shows Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels, while also being a prequel to the other animated show Star Wars Resistance (which nobody watched, anyway). The thing that these five shows, six if you include Ahsoka, have in common is that Dave Filoni was behind all of them — in more ways than one.

The series premiered in August 2023, a full three years after it was announced, having been delayed due to space flu.

Premise[edit]

The entire plot of the show is about finding this guy, who one only knows by watching an animated show and reading some books.

After the epilogue in the fourth and final season of Star Wars Rebels, and those two scenes in The Book of Boba Fett, in the year 5 ABY,[1] former Jedi Knight Padawan Ahsoka Tano teams up with former animated friends -- her non-Force sensitive Mandalorian apprentice, Sabine Wren, and green alien pilot lady, General Hera Syndulla (which of whom, Thrawn cannot pronounce correctly) -- to go and look for two other former animated characters, the annoying Jedi Padawan Ezra Bridger, and the Imperial blue meanie Grand Admiral Thrawn. Also, did I mention that Dave Filoni wrote, directed, and created the show?

Cast and characters[edit]

  • Rosario Dawson as Ahsoka Tano: A former Jedi Padawan who left the Order during The Clone Wars, inevitably causing Anakin Skywalker to become Darth Vader. Appearing in seven seasons of good animation, and another three in kiddy cartoon form, Ahsoka first became live-action in the second season of The Mandalorian for no reason. She would later also show up for a minute in The Book of Boba Fett just to pad out the run-time, before getting her own show that only makes sense if one has watched a combined eleven seasons of Clone Wars and Rebels. Dawson also continues to replace Ashley Eckstein, who is not expected to make a cameo in the show due to Disney not wanting to endorse a rival merchandise seller.
  • Natasha Liu Bordizzo as Sabine Wren: A Mandalorian that became Ahsoka's apprentice, despite not even being Force sensitive. Bordizzo also replaces Rebels Sabine voice actress Tiya Sircar — who is not a car, nor a sir.
  • Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Hera Syndulla: A Twi'lek New Republic general who has nothing better to do but stand still as a hologram for most of the time. Her bastard son, Jacen, fathered by the late Jedi Knight Kanan Jarrus, also appears. In a leaked LEGO set for the series, Jacen was missing his green hair, probably because the Danish designers thought that it would look stupid in live-action, and so changed the unnatural colour to a more natural brown. In "Part Three", Jacen was seen still rocking with his stupid green hair. Winstead also replaces Vanessa Marshal as Hera, as she was busy chasing fugitives with Raylan Givens.
  • Ray Stevenson as Baylan Skoll: A former Jedi who survived Order 66 by punishing the Clone Troopers who killed his family.
  • Ivanna Sakhno as Shin Hati: Baylan's apprentice and part-time (blonde) emo.
  • Diana Lee Inosanto as Morgan Elsbeth: Also reprising her role from The Mandalorian, Morgan continues to look for Thrawn by hiring other people to find him for her.
  • David Tennant voices Huyang: A lightsaber-crafting droid. Tennant reprises his role from The Clone Wars, after being kicked off Doctor Who for the second time. An audio filter has removed Tennant's distinctive Scottish accent and replaced it with standard droid chatter, as per George Lucas' intended vision for the franchise.
  • Lars Mikkelsen as Grand Admiral Thrawn: The greatest villain in the history of villains, who doesn't even show up until over half-way through the season. Deeply blue.
  • Eman Esfandi as Ezra Bridger: Sacrificing himself and Thrawn in the Rebels finale by hanging with some Space Whales, Ezra is the most annoying Jedi alive. Esfandi also replaces Taylor Gray, as Jack Black appeared in the third season of The Mandalorian and Disney didn't want those who read the credits to get confused by a lighter shade of a name.
  • Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker: Ahsoka's deceased Master who shows up in animated flashbacks to save on budget.
  • Dave Filoni reprises his role voicing Chopper: Because, well, he's gotta have his name show up in the credits five times.
  • Ariana Greenblatt as Young Snips: managing to escape the Soul Stone from Avengers: Infinity War, Greenblatt manages to turn from green skin to orange, and become yet the second person to replace Ashley Eckstein as Ahsoka Tano — granted she would be too old to play a young Tano, but still.

Episodes[edit]

No.TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal release date
1 "Part One: Master and Slave" Dave FiloniDave FiloniAugust 22, 2023  (2023 -08-22)
Speeding ticket arriving soon.
Baylon Skoll and Shin Hati, who are Dark Jedi mercenary slaves, attack a New Republic transport to rescue their magic Nightsister master, Morgan Elsbeth (who was arrested by Ahsoka Tano after their duel in The Mandalorian). Meanwhile, Ahsoka decimates a Nightsister temple to find a ball with a map inside. With this map, Ahsoka, Sabine and Hera can find their lost friend, Ezra Bridger, while Elsbeth and her Jedi slaves can find Grand Admiral Thrawn. In the years after Rebels, Ahsoka had trained Sabine in the ways of the Jedi, not because she could use the Force, but because the show needed at least three lightsaber using female leads. Why she didn't just take Jacen Syndulla as her Padawan, nobody knows. With the map in Tano's procession, Elsbeth sends Shin after Sabine, as Ahsoka gave her the ball to try to figure out how to open it. Sabine opens the ball by lining up the lines by twisting the sides, in which surely Ahsoka could've just done herself. The ball opens, revealing the map inside which shows that Thrawn and Ezra aren't just lost in deep space, but in an entire different Galaxy all together. Shin pulls a Darth Maul, and finds that Sabine is now staying at Ezra's house, while feeding a cat some real-life looking cat food, Sabine is attacked, and gets into the shows first lightsaber duel with Shin — only for her to get Qui-Gon Jinn'd and.... 
2 "Part Two: Foil and Fumble" Steph GreenDave FiloniAugust 22, 2023  (2023 -08-22)

....survive? What is this bullshit? Anyway, as Sabine recovers from being stabbed through the stomach with a lightsaber, she almost blows up the hospital she's in by hacking into the head of one of the HK droids Ahsoka decapitated. Luckily, Dr WhoYang pulls the plug before Sabine pulls a The Dark Knight, but she somehow still manages to get the location of which the droid came from. Which, coincidentally (well, not really as Dave Filoni wrote it), is the planet Corellia — the home world of Han Solo, which now links this show to Solo: A Star Wars Story. Hera finally leaves her hologram, and is seen in person to help Ahsoka investigate the ship yard run by ex-Imperials. These ex-Imps say that they support the New Republic, but their ruse is ruined by a plot convenient droid that rats them out. Ahsoka and Hera make quick work of the workers, before a chase breaks out but is halted when Ahsoka comes face-to-face with an Inquisitor (those guys from Rebels and Obi-Wan Kenobi). As Ahsoka duels with him (in a cool, but very slow way), Hera and Chopper (voiced by Filoni) chase a ship carrying a Solid State Drive Super Star Destroyer hyperdrive unit. Chopper almost commits a war crime, Ahsoka almost dies (twice), and the hyperdrive gets away... but not before Chopper throws, yes throws, a tracking device onto the ship... in space... with no hands.

Good news is that all the Imperial workers get arrested. Bad news is that Morgan is one step closer to finding Thrawn, and that there are still six more episodes to go. 
3 "Part Three: Time to Waste" Steph GreenDave FiloniAugust 29, 2023  (2023 -08-29)

Dr WhoYang becomes General Grievous, and throws some unsavoury insults at Sabine while she trains with a wooden stick. Ahsoka then makes Sabine pretend to be Luke Skywalker from A New Hope, so that Ahsoka can finally abuse a blind person. After their boring training session, General Syndulla finally gives what Star Wars fans really want... politics! The New Republic council decline to give Hera the fleet and more troops, even after being told that Morgan was looking for the lost Grand Admiral, and that if she brings him back, Thrawn will, pretty much, destroy the New Republic single handedly. Despite having no New Republic back up, the trio of Ahsoka, Sabine and WhoYang decide to go after Morgan alone (well not alone, cause there's three of them). After dropping from hyperspace to where Chopper's tracking device located them, they are attacked by Shin Hati, the Inquisitor Marrok, and a few unnamed fodder pilots — who, surprise, end up becoming fodder. Sabine, who with her Mandalorian background, somehow fails to shoot a few easy targets, but after a few motivational lines from her Master, manages to hit her shots and let out a classic "Whooo!" WhoYang also points out (verbally, not physically) that they seem to be building a hyperspace ring.

After Shin and Marrok lose their squadron, Morgan takes things into her own hands... sort of. She tells her droids to shoot down the Jedi T-6 shuttle, and they do... sort of. The shot disables the ship, along with WhoYang. This causes Ahsoka to suit up and go and do some lightsaber acrobatics in space. Sabine fixes the ship, and they fly down to the planet Seatos. Here they have to escape Shin and Marrok by flying through a pod of Purrgil, the same animals that kidnapped Thrawn and Ezra. They do so and land in a forest of red trees, as opposed to the blue water in which their red ship would be easily spotted. WhoYang is rebooted and explains that Morgan will try and use the hyperspace ring for intergalactic travel, as Baylon rallies his men (and droids) to find the Jedi, setting up the next episode. 
4 "Part Four: Fallen Plot" Peter RamseyDave FiloniSeptember 5, 2023  (2023 -09-05)

As WhoYang repairs the ship, Sabine and Ahsoka share a little moment as they just stand around — instead of, y'know, helping fix the ship. Meanwhile, Hera disobeys the New Republic by rushing to her friend's help, taking her son with her — like

a good mother would when trying to save the entire galaxy. She also calls in a cameo by having Captain Carson Teva tag along, making him the first newly created live-action character to show up in three live-action shows and not be condemned to animation. Back on Seatos, the bad guys find our heroes, and try to rape WhoYang with some chloroform — which doesn't work, as he's a droid. After yelling for help, with no success, WhoYang reverses his repair work to alert Sabine and Ahsoka. The two then come out, lightsabers swinging, and give a quick little action sequence. They then run into the forest, hoping to catch Baylon and the others off guard, but instead run into Shin and Marrok — who totally weren't snogging away from prying eyes. To raise the stakes, instead of listening to WhoYang to "stick together", a 2v2 duel is thrown out the window, and Ahsoka takes on Marrok while Sabine gets a rematch with Shin. Shin almost kills Sabine (again), and Sabine fakes out using the Force to get a little sneaky wrist rocket off, which Shin didn't see coming (as did all the theories that said that Sabine was in fact Force sensitive). Ahsoka, who had clearly just watched the Kenobi vs Maul duel in Rebels, copies Old Ben's moves, and slices Marrok in the chest. Instead of dying, however, Marrok turns to gas and fades away so that the Americans don't invade his body (and to disprove any theory that he is really just a canon Starkiller). Shin pulls a Batman, and Ahsoka goes after the map and Baylon.

When Ahsoka and Baylon meet, he talks about her former Master, Anakin Skywalker — which totally doesn't set anything up later. Anyway, they have a sort of coolish duel, before Shin and Sabine show up, which distracts Ahsoka enough to let Baylon push her off a cliff into the water below (or does he?). With Ahsoka now dead, Baylon lets Sabine join him, so that when he finds Thrawn, she can be reunited with Ezra. When Morgan finishes her maths homework, Baylon destroys the map, and they join her on the Eye of Dion. With sheer convenient timing, Hera and her squad show up just as the baddies are about to jump into hyperspace, which they do — causing a big enough shockwave to send three X-Wing pilots into thinking they are Japanese Kamikaze pilots. Jacen also gets the iconic "Got a bad feeling" line for the series.

After all that, the credits still haven't rolled. We see some waves, probably the water that Ahsoka fell into... not! Turns out that she ended up in the World Beyond Worlds (in which the live-action only audience might mistake for Force heaven). The episode then ends by giving every Clone Wars enthusiast the biggest of orgasms by having Hayden Christensen call Ahsoka "Snips". 
5 "Part Five: Flashback Warrior" Dave FiloniDave FiloniSeptember 12, 2023  (2023 -09-12)
Young Ahsoka trapped in the Soul Stone.

Hera and her remaining gang land, to find WhoYang all sad, which doesn't make much sense, as how does a droid have feelings? Anyway, back in the World Between Worlds, which it may not actually be, Anakin tells Ahsoka that he is going to finish her training — as it has to be renewed before her Jedi licence expires. Anakin and Ahsoka proceed to duel, and we cut back to the real world where Jacen puts his force abilities to the test by... listening? He has force ears? I don't know, but he can hear the lightsabers from their duel, which adds even more confusion, but Kevin Kiner saves the day by adding the "Force Theme", so it's all good. WhoYang then also references Caleb Dume, but uses his fake name of Kanan Jarrus, despite the fact that the Empire isn't even looking for him anymore. Anakin then drops Ahsoka off a part of the bridge that was still under construction into the first ever live-action Clone Wars scene. Despite saying that the Battle of Ryloth was one of their first missions, which was seen in Season 1 of The Clone Wars, Ahsoka is seen in her Season 3 outfit — as having a fifteen year old in a boob tube and some panties in live-action might seem a bit weird. Anakin makes a joke about two Klatooinians walking into a bar, but Ahsoka doesn't get it and proceeds to get angry when he walks away without explaining it, causing Anakin to turn into a suited Vader for a nice wallpaper screenshot. Hera and WhoYang look for Ahsoka in the water with their eyes, instead of just scanning for life forms. Hera asks about Ahsoka's Master, in which WhoYang then goes on an hour long rant about how Anakin would never let him borrow some hair gel and send him some nudes of Padmé Amidala. Hera responds with "she must have been intense for a droid to get a boner", with WhoYang replying "well, she was no Amy Pond."

It may not be Mustafar, but this fight was still hot.

The second Clone Wars flashback is given at the Siege of Mandalore — the first one from Season 7 of The Clone Wars, not the second one from Rebels, or the third one that occurred off-screen but was mentioned in The Mandalorian. Jesus, how times is Mandalore going to be sieged? Hell, if you really want to, a fourth one could even be said to have happened in the Season 3 finale of The Mandalorian. Anyway, as Ahsoka is slicing and dicing Darth Maul's Mando's (spoilers for those who don't know that Maul survived Episode I, but you should have been keeping up), Captain Rex finally makes his live-action debut with some random guy dressed in cosplay with Temuera Morrison's voice badly overdubbed. Gar Saxon, the leader of the Mauldolorians, does not appear, however, as he had been recast into the role of Babylon[2] and was on his way to find Thrawn. Anakin then appears, apparently leaving Coruscant behind so that Mace Windu could arrest Palpatine. The two fight again, with another Vader strip-tease, before Ahsoka then disarming what should be Darth Vader in his prime, but hey, don't worry — it was all part of the plan. Anakin then signs off on Ahsoka's training, making her, for the first time, an official Jedi Knight... wait, nope. It was all a dream. Ahsoka is pulled out of the water by John Wayne 3.0, and becomes Gandalf the White. Ahsoka wakes up, seemingly from costume cancer, but manages to recover the next scene by putting on a headband.

As the New Republic fleet arrives to arrest Hera and Ahsoka for treason, who are literally trying to save the entire galaxy with no help, I mean hell, they should just let Thrawn return at this point so that the Heir to the Empire movie can come a bit faster. Ahsoka pulls an Ezra, speaking to the Purrgil manager and agrees to brush his teeth for a free ride to Peridea. The episode then ends pretty much how the last episode ended — and still with no Thrawn showing up. 
6 "Part Six: A Long Time Ago Coming" Jennifer GetzingerDave FiloniSeptember 19, 2023  (2023 -09-19)
Thrawn thinks he can fool others with his green-screen army.

Ahsoka and WhoYang watch as their Purrgil Uber drivers attend a gay disco along the way to Peridea. Ahsoka asks WhoYang to read her a bed-time story, like he used to at the Jedi Temple. After declining "The Itsy Bitsy Ice Spider" and "Humpty Windu Had a Great Fall", WhoYang finally settles on telling the story of A New Hope — which just ends up becoming a bad mixture of fan-service and breaking the fourth wall. Afterwards, the Ahsoka series becomes the Sabine and Others show.

The baddies and Sabine finally arrive in the different galaxy, where Peridea is orbited by the skeleton remains of space whales — instead of Death Stars moons. They land at a Nightsister castle, and are kindly greeted by three witches dressed in red. They seem nice, except for their poor nail hygiene — which is probably just from them using their magic so often. The Nightsister Great Mothers then invite Sabine to a BDSM party, tying her up and sending her to the sex dungeon. Meanwhile, Morgan sends a snap to Thrawn telling him to come over. While in the dungeon, Sabine again practises using the Force, but is distracted when the ISD Chimaera attempts to have sex with the castle — by sticking the tip into its hanger bay. As everyone lines up to create a cool cinematic shot, along with Thrawn's Night Trooper army chanting their anthem, Grand Admiral Thrawn finally makes his live-action debut in the coolest way possible — by walking in a straight line.

Sabine replaces her speeder for whatever this thing is.

As Thrawn meets with his rescuers, he thanks them for their service, as well as Dave Filoni for bringing him back in Star Wars canon for those that didn't watch Rebels or his novel trilogy. Speaking of which, Lt. Commander Eli Vanto is not Thrawn's right-hand man in the series (which for those that read Treason would know why), but that role has been given to Captain Enoch — a golden Stormtrooper who likes to go heavy on the voice filter. Thrawn also lets Sabine go with food, water, a horse, and even a map to go and look for Ezra — if only to get her out of his hair, which doesn't make sense, as it is all nice and neatly combed for someone who has been exiled in a different galaxy for nearly a decade. When Sabine leaves, Thrawn then sends Baylon and Shin Hottie after her, so that another lightsaber duel can be set up in the coming episodes.

Along the way, Sabine has an encounter with a group of Nomads, but they get scared and run away when they see that she has purple hair. She also has to deal with her pussy horse (not that the horse is part cat, as it's more of a rat), but they make up and become friends. When stopped at the river for a drink, the two encounter cousins of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles who are a part of the Rebel Alliance and agree to take Sabine to Ezra.

As they do, Baylon tells Shin more of his plan to build something better than the Jedi Order, while still speaking in cryptic, of course. Thrawn tells Morgan that they should just ditch all the lightsaber people on Peridea, so that they can take their necrophilia fetish back to the galaxy by themselves.

At the camp, Ezra surprises Sabine. Not by just suddenly appearing behind her, but with a fully grown beard. They hug, and Sabine can feel something. "Is that a lightsaber in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

Finally, Thrawn is reminded by the script that Ahsoka and WhoYang are also on their way, and he sets up a defence for their arrival by asking to use some dark chocolate for reasons unknown. 
7 "Part Seven: Nightmares and Madness" Geeta PatelDave FiloniSeptember 26, 2023  (2023 -09-26)
No red arm indicates that this is before Force Awakens — good thing for continuity.[3]

On Coruscant, Hera is held before Mon Mothma and other senators for a potential court martial. After explaining for yet another time about the danger of Thrawn returning, Hera is finally let off when C-3PO of all people droids appears with the script that showed that a legacy character was to make an appearance and save the day. However, since Leia Organa was unable to put on her deaging CGI make-up in time, 3PO was instead shoved into the episode instead — but hey, it's almost like Leia's there herself, right? Carson also prevents Chopper from going all war crimey on Xiono — as it might've seemed a bit racist.

Meanwhile, Ahsoka and WhoYang get dropped off by their whale friends at Peridea, but since they had already racked up plenty of parking fines, the closest they could drop the two off at was in the middle of a minefield. But not an exploding one, as that would just be mean, but a field where a lot of mining was being done — with miners everywhere. As Ahsoka zig-zags her way through them, she spots a female miner. "I'm not saying she's a gold digger," WhoYang says. "But that get-up she's in, makes me think she might be." Ahsoka ignores his very bad joke as a bunch of fighters engage them, but are avoided when Ahsoka leads them into the Whale Graveyard and are successfully hidden by Tennant's fan-casted character, Skulduggery Pleasant — who also makes a bad joke about how people are "just dying to get in."

Spin-off Two and a Half Jedi coming soon.

When Sabine, Ezra and their little caravan squad break many road rules, they are punished when Shin and her new Nomad friends that were made off-screen, attack. Baylon, however, stays behind to save on budget for the action sequence. As a game of non-traditional Mario Kart happens, Morgan reveals to Thrawn that Ahsoka Tano's master was none other than Anakin Skywalker. Thrawn acts surprised at this bit of information, as one would probably expect, but those that have read Thrawn: Alliances would recall that Natalie Portman told a young Thrawn during the Clone Wars this fact already. So unless in the thirty years since then, Thrawn had forgotten,[4] Filoni is now on strike one for inconsistency.

Anyhow, Ezra and Sabine's kart is blue-shelled, and are forced to do a whoop-whoop, while Ahsoka jumps off her ship, and bounces into a duel with Baylon. When WhoYang tries to kill them both, Ahsoka runs away, which makes Baylon very sad. Thrawn also dispatches two gunships to assist Shin and the Nomads, so that another poorly choreographed fight can take place. When Sabine and Ezra are about to be executed taken prisoner, Ahsoka swoops in and kicks off the fight. Ezra refuses to take his lightsaber, claiming that it's Sabine's now — which is using the same logic as those old people that say the lightsaber in A New Hope and Empire is Luke's, and not Anakin's. After doing some Force karate, Ezra takes a Night Trooper's E-11 and just starts blastin', causing the rest to run and retreat. They leave Shin behind, not on purpose, but because she just stood there instead of even trying to join them. Because of this, she is offered a chance to join Ahsoka and the gang, but suddenly remembers that she has legs and runs away — to her shaggy wolf-pony, which then gallops away.

With Ahsoka, Ezra and Sabine all reunited, the finale can finally happen, but according to Thrawn, there might not be enough time — hinting at the fact that the finale is going to have a short run-time.[5] 
8 "Part Eight: The Joke, The Bitch and The Whopper" Rick FamuyiwaDave FiloniOctober 3, 2023  (2023 -10-03)
"There's gotta be another reference in here somewhere!"

For the final stand, the three Great Mothers do some witchy stuff on Morgan, who ends up with having black eyes but not becoming blind. She also gets some face tattoos, along with a flame sword that just seems impractical. To end it, Thrawn sends out two TIE Fighters to slow down the Jedi, as opposed to a whole squadron to just finish them off for good. Meanwhile, the Noti caravan listens to "Convoy" as they go four-wheel driving. You copy rubber ducky? On the T-6, Ezra and WhoYang build a new lightsaber, while also giving another mention to Caleb Dume (sorry, Kanan Jarrus), while also adding that Sabine had no clue about WhoYang's old job at the Jedi Temple, despite being with him for years. After one too many Rebels recaps, Ezra finishes his lightsaber, now with a blue blade — as having two of the same colour in the group might confuse people. Also, where did he get the kyber crystal? Anyway, The Night of a Thousand Tears also gets more lore, alluding to the fact that it was a part of Operation Cinder — adding more backstory that casual viewers will not even understand. As Ahsoka and Sabine talk, the two TIE's open fire on the Jedi ship, almost destroying it, but fail when Sabine crashes it into the two Imperial fighters — which then causes the T-6 to crash, meaning that the two TIE's kind of did complete their mission. Sabine then gets a cool walk towards the camera, but falls flat as the ship doesn't explode behind her.

Actual Death Troopers in canon. Along with the ones that show up later.

The three Jedi, now shipless, decide to ride into Thrawn's castle to stop him. Thrawn, with his smarts, already predicted this, but since the show's gotta show, doesn't add barriers or any other defences, but just starts bombing the ground in which it would be super easy to avoid by zig-zagging and using the Force. Regardless, the three Jedi, each of whom have different coloured lightsabers, get into a stand off with the remaining Night Troopers who would rather sacrifice themselves then get back to the known galaxy, in which they haven't seen in a decade. During the fight, Sabine remembers that she's a Mandalorian (and not a Jedi) and starts using her blasters and beskar armour, while Ezra does some kicks and Ahsoka forgets her choreography. Eventually, the three defeat the Night Troopers, but then the bell for Round Two rings as the Great Mothers finally use the dark chocolate mentioned two episodes ago to turn the dead Troopers into undead Troopers — no cameos from Rick Grimes or Daryl Dixon, surprisingly. The three then escape the zombie Troopers by running up the stairs, thinking that it would be like The Walking Dead's walkers. That is not the case, however, but along with being able to move at normal speeds, the zombies can also shoot their blasters. Ezra is grabbed and can't escape, but when Sabine goes in with her lightsaber, is able to dodge to the side to avoid being stabbed. Finally, they lock the blast doors and then walk into another stand-off with Morgan. Instead of dealing with her on a 3v1, in which they could defeat her much faster, and still have time to make it to the ship, Ahsoka tells the others to go on without her — if only so the two characters who started this entire series can have a rematch from the other show they were in.

The Father and The Son ditched the Holy Spirit.
Ezra and Sabine then get into a fight with some undead Death Troopers, who are most likely Pik and Waffle from Thrawn: Treason, adding in yet more cameoes that nobody fuckin' cares about.[6] Sabine finally proves that she can use the Force by pulling her lightsaber towards her, which then makes her think that she can Force push Ezra towards the Chimaera — which she does, cementing her role as the new Rey Skywalker Palpatine. Morgan and Ahsoka's duel finally ends when Ahsoka replaces her broken saber with Morgan's flame sword and kills her by slashing her gut, presumably sending her far beyond any resuscitation by Deus ex machina. It also turns out that Sabine stays behind, and the two fight the undead Troopers as Thrawn bombards the castle. Luckily, WhoYang and the turtle gang manage to repair the T-6 and save the two from falling to their deaths. In one last effort, the trio race the Imperial Star Destroyer to space, but after Thrawn hijacks the radio and gives another recap of the Thrawn novel trilogy (for the casual audience, of course), he jumps into Hyperspace, leaving Ahsoka, WhoYang and Sabine stranded in the distant galaxy. The good ol' switcheroo. With Thrawn and Ezra back in the main galaxy, Ezra steals a ship off screen and heads to the New Republic, where he is reunited with Hera and Chopper but doesn't warn them of Thrawn's return (on screen, that is). Instead of heading to the Chiss Ascendency, or even to the Imperial Remnant, Thrawn instead goes to Dathomir first, as he looks at coffins of dead people. Back on Peridea, Shin Hottie finally appears, just to join the Nomads by pulling a Maul from Solo. Baylan is also seen with statues of the Father and the Son, the Force Gods from Mortis, presumably to make a deal with SAG-AFTRA to use a CGI and deep-faked Ray Stevenson in Season Two.[7] Finally, the main trio join the Noti, and as Sabine and Ahsoka look at the stars, the Force ghost of Anakin Skywalker watches over them (but wearing the wrong robes, unless he somehow has a wardrobe in Force Heaven). 

Production[edit]

Thrawn's iPad password, Danish Blue Cheese, showcases his genius by having an unguessable password.

Writing[edit]

Unlike The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, in which Filoni had co-writers like Iron Man and almost-Flash, Dave was given 100% writing duties. Because of this, as any normal person would, he included all of his previously created animated characters and slapped them in into the script — just so that Leonardo DiCaprio can point at the TV and go "hey, that's such and such!"

Since Filoni is also the Padawan to Jedi Grand Master George Lucas, everything in Star Wars needs to be connected and to sound like poetry.[8] And so, Filoni made the entire show a sequel to Rebels in every way possible. Because of this, anyone who hasn't watched it, would be lost while watching Ahsoka. Even if one did attempt to catch up by watching Rebels, they would also be lost as they wouldn't have watched The Clone Wars, which also needed the context of watching The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, which further needed the context of Tales of the Jedi, which again needed the added benefit of watching The Clone Wars and The Bad Batch. Basically, if you've only watched the Original Trilogy, you should just leave it at that and pretend that nothing happened before or afterwards — at least then, Palpatine wouldn't have returned.[9]

When writing the character of Grand Admiral Thrawn, Filoni had Timothy Zahn sign off on his lines. Because of this, hours of footage had to be cut of Lars Mikkelsen saying Zahn's name after each sentence.

Casting[edit]

With a majority of characters being translated into live-action from shows like The Clone Wars and Rebels, the original voice actors for characters like Sabine, Hera, and Ezra had to be replaced — as voice acting is not the same as actually acting. Despite this, Lars Mikkelsen, who voiced Grand Admiral Thrawn in Star Wars Rebels, was given the honour of also playing the character in live-action — as he was the only one who was actually willing to sit through six hours of make-up everyday to make him look like an Avatar. Additionally, David Tennent is also a reprising voice actor, if only because he didn't have to even show up on set, and could quite literally, just phone in his performance.

Writer, director and creator of the show, Dave Filoni, also reprised his role as the war criminal astromech droid Chopper from Rebels — another show he wrote, directed and created. After replacing Ashley Eckstein as Ahsoka Tano in The Mandalorian, Rosario Dawson was bought back to play the titular character, due to already signing a multi-show contract in 2020 for that one Mandalorian episode, and a cameo in Book of Boba Fett — which showcased Dawson's static movements and uninterested facial expressions. Because of the contract already being signed, as well as a potential "racist recast" backlash, Filoni had no choice but to keep Dawson on.

Along with voice actors reprising roles, Hayden Christensen also returned to play Darth Vader Anakin Skywalker, a role he hadn't done since 2005's Revenge of the Sith 2021's Obi-Wan Kenobi 1983's Return of the Jedi. Alas, Christensen still acts and moves as if he is made of wood. Diana Lee Inosanto also returns as Morgan Elsbeth, but now with the added information that she is a Nightsister. Which begs the question: why didn't she use her magic powers in her fight against Ahsoka in their Mandalorian episode?

Reception[edit]

Disney stated that within the first week of "Part One" airing, it was watched by 14 million — with only about 3 million of which actually knowing who all the characters were, their backstories, and all the previous events that are referenced to in just the first ten minutes. Because of this, the second episode, which debuted at the same time as the first, was only watched by 2 million — with the other million of established fans skipping it due to Ahsoka and Sabine not being as hot in live-action as they are animated.

As of "Part Seven", viewership numbers have continued to drop — despite the fanfare of Hayden Christensen returning in "Part Five". Most of those that stopped watching claim it's because there is "no Ahsoka in the Ahsoka show", as well as having to wait until "Part Six" to actually see Grand Admiral Thrawn — in which he doesn't even do anything except have a cool walk.[10]

Review site Rotten Tomatoes currently gives Ahsoka a fresh 87% from critics and audience. One three-star review reads: "Although the show visually looks good, with Filoni's writing being on par with his animated counterparts, Rosario Dawson's casting as the Jedi Ahsoka is a disappointment even after all the steps Disney has taken recently for more inclusive roles in film. The role should have been given to an Oompa-Loompa, not an African-American."

References[edit]

  1. Time in the Star Wars universe is set by the exact moment in A New Hope when the stormtrooper entering the control room on the Death Star bangs his head on the door and yells. Using this system, events occurring before this moment are designated BBY (before bang/yell), and events after ABY (after bang/yell)
  2. "See, it's all connected." - Dave Filoni, probably
  3. Or else we would have had to wait ages for confirmation about the timeline placement — unless Disney retcons canon again and somehow sets this after the Sequel Trilogy
  4. Or maybe he didn't even pay attention to it, as he was too focused on Portman's beauty
  5. Which will piss those off on Twitter X the most
  6. Except for the die hard nerds
  7. Perhaps using out-takes and another actor to imitate Stevenson's voice, as he died after completing the season.
  8. Mainly nursery rhymes
  9. Which wasn't even explained in The Rise of Skywalker, but in the video game Fortnite
  10. And a very cool walk it was indeed

Featured.png
Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 01 November 2023
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Template:FA/01 November 2023