Arachno-capitalism
“This is a stupid concept, spiders don't have pockets!”
Arachno-capitalism is an economic, political and philosophical system organised to benefit spiders at the expense of everyone else in the animal kingdom. Its mirror image is Arachno-communism.
This arachnological system centers around the idea that spiders should be able to have access to a free and unrestricted market where they can buy and sell any goods or services. While unlikely to be put in practice due to the lack of pockets on spiders, it is generally considered a great idea in practice, and several, if unsuccessful attempts were made, which only failed because the spiders were not willing to cooperate 100% of the time.
Is it practical?[edit]
Due to wildly different types of spiders all with their varying diets of bugs and sometimes plants, spider society has some difficulty agreeing how to actually make arachno-capitalism work. Some argue that the nets should be used to hoard the money in the form of bugs, while others argue that each spider should fend for itself first and formost with a do-or-die mentality. Yet other spiders do not participate in the discussion one way or the other, often because they are too busy munching on their food.
Whatever the case, proponents of arachno-capitalism argue that once the major hurdle of lacking an actual currency, and the transaction thereof, is fixed, spiderkind will be able to prosper once again - citing examples such as the phenomenally popular Spiderman, who freely travels across the city and, despite clear lack of pockets, is able to sell photos and buy food on the fly. Talking of flies...
Flies[edit]
As all spiders know, flies are filthy six legged Marxists who feed off other animals efforts. Sticking their feeding tubes into rotting or rotten food. Arachno-capitalism will soon sort them out. Only the biggest blue bottles will survive as they eat their smaller brethren and then will fly straight into a web.