Banana Yaya

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Banana Yaya Smiling at the camera man.

Banana Yaya is a Greek professional footballer currently playing for Platanias as a striker even though did not score a single goal yet. He is most commonly known as the footballer with the coolest name. He has a brother called Yaya Toure which meaning apple in Cameroon but is an engineer.

Early Life[edit]

Banana Yaya was born in a Chocolate factory in Maroua in 1991. The factory used to be a secret base for ducks and then was taken over by some native Cameroon tribes which then was bought by Thorn Yaya (Banana’s father) and became a factory. The factory was huge which was a perfect place for practising soccer for little Banana. However, he was not swag enough so he broke many machines when trying to dance with the ball. Fortunately, his brother Toure was smart enough to fix all the machine with sticks and bones he stole from the tribes.


Banana Yaya kicking a poor Nigerian footballer.

Career[edit]

Banana Yaya played for many soccer clubs which made him have many haters, but most of them are just some silly racist idiots. He joined a lot of weird clubs but ended up at the Greek Club ‘Superleague Gods’ because they were not many idiots in that club. Banana played fantastically even though he did not score any goals and hurt quite a few players from the other clubs. He is known as the Banana Beast because he enjoys elbowing and kicking other players but never ended up with a yellow card. Because he gets a red one straight away. He already received 8 red cards when he had only been playing for five years.

Trivia[edit]

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UnNews Senior Editors are currently furiously fact-checking this related article:

Suarez starts food fight at World Cup

Banana Yaya was bitten by Luis Suarez three times. The most likely reason is that Suarez heard the first name and thought that fruit would be a pleasant balance from the meat he had eaten earlier in the match.

He was given the name Yaya Banana because his father’s favourite letter was ‘a’.