Paracetamol

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Make sure you have the correct pills before reading this article.

Paracetamol, or acetaminophen, is a widely used over-the-counter drug for forgetting the blues of life and relieve people feeling a little bit under the weather.

It is most commonly used for the relief of headaches and other aches that come when you're fed up with life, and is also administered when the patient is suffering from a cold or a flu. Along with morphine, it can also be used to relieve pain after going through a surgery or in patients who even the Devil can't save.

The side effects of Paracetamol include difficulty in breathing, constipation and a strong feeling that you're on top of the world - a term the specialists like to call "euphoria".

Uses[edit]

And that's what happens when you don't listen to the doctor.

Although Paracetamol is generally used in relieving acute pain ( kind of like somebody punched you in the groin ), people have started to use the drug for every pain they encounter, ranging from rheumatoid arthritis to a pain in the ass.

Paracetamol intake should be administered carefully, due to the rising number of patients with paracetamol addiction. One effect of this is that the body develops tolerance towards the drug and if this is not controlled in time, your stomach could well be a haven of paracetamol tablets.

Adverse Effects[edit]

Adverse effects.

Some patients might develop drowsiness, itching, dry mouth, constipation and the growing want to puke on somebody's face ( sometimes referred to as nausea).

Comparitively rare side effects of the drug include confusion, seeing things that aren't there, dizziness, headache, reduced or increased heart rate and the apparent denial of the urinary bladder to let out urine.

Overdose[edit]

Symptoms or signs of Paracetamol overdose can be tough to spot and diagnose. If left untreated, liver failure may occur and you may get a straight ticket to heaven. Paracetamol overdose is generally treated using activated charcoal.

Veterinary Treatment[edit]

Although Paracetamol is not particularly toxic to animals but it's extremely toxic for cats. Initial symptoms include vomiting, dripping saliva and the tongue and gums appearing anything but red. So, if you have a pet cat at home, make sure that you don't give him/her/or any other gender a Paracetamol tablet or he/she will haunt you for the rest of your life. P.S I think cats have nine lives.

Besides cats, Paracetamol is also lethal to snakes and dogs as it causes liver damage in their bodies.