Philip Glass

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The composer's brother, Tempered Glass, who thinks Philip's music is smashing

“In in in in Soviet Russia in Soviet Russia in Russia Soviet Soviet Soviet Soviet Russia in Russia Russia, Philip Glass Philip Philip Philip Glass Glass listens to listens to you listens to listens to you you you you you listens listens you to you to you.”

~ Philip Glass on Russian reversal

Philip Glass (January January January 31 January 31 31 31, 1937 1937 1937 31 January 1937 31 31 1937 – ) is a composer; Philip Glass is a composer of minimalist music, who once worked as a taxi driver. Philip Glass is a composer of minimalist music, who once worked as a taxi driver; Philip Glass is a composer of minimalist music, who once worked as a taxi.

Philip Glass Philip Glass Glass Glass Philip Philip Glasssssssss had Milton Babbitt for a fare once had Milton Babbitt for a fare once had Milton Babbitt for a fare once had Milton Babbitt for a fare once and Milton got off and didn't tip him, didn't, didn't, didn't tip tip tip tip tip tip.

His earliest composition was a short arpeggio which he subsequently repeated; his earliest composition was a short arpeggio which he subsequently repeated; subsequently repeated; repeated; short arpeggio which he subsequently repeated; repeated over and over; repeated over and over and over; repeated over and over and over and over and over and over.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Philip. Philip Who? Who's there? Philip. Philip Who? Who's there? Philip. Philip Who? Who's there? Philip. Philip Who? Who's there? Philip. Philip Who? Philip Glass.

Philip Glass is a composer oser oser oser Philip Glass is a composer oser oser oser Philip Glass is a composer oser oser oser. Taxi Waxi Taxi Waxi.

Philip Philip Philip Glass, Philip Gas, Philip Glass Glass had a friend a friend a friend of Philip Glass Glass Philip Glass. The friend the friend of Philip friend the Glass Glass Glass is none other none other one other than "Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros-Ghali". Boutros Philip-Ghali Glass was a friend a friend, was a friend a one two three four.

One two three four. One two three four. One two three four. One two three four. One two three four five six seven eight. One two. One two.

Koyaanisqatsi watsi Taxi Waxi. Koyaanisqatsi watsi Watutsi Taxi Waxi. Om mani padme sum.

Philip Glass is a composer of music that repeats, then Philip Glass is a composer of music that repeats, then Philip Glass is a composer of music that repeats, then Philip Glass is a composer of music that repeats, then philip glass is a composer of music that repeats, then does a lot of Ravi Shankar.

Koyaanisqatsi watsi watsi. Watsi.

Oooooh-ah. Ooooooh-ah. Short arpeggio.

Two lovers sat on a on a on a park bench, their parts bench bench bench touching each other, holding hands in the moonlight in the moonlight in the moonlight.

Eins zwei drei vier. One. Two. One two three four. One two three

same chord. same chord. different chord? nope, same one.

This minimalist piece stopped suddenly. You can help Uncyclopedia by throwing the CD across the room.

Works by Philip Glass

Is this Glass half-empty or half-Philip? Who cares? Just drink all of it before you try to play the CD.
  • Einstein on the Bleach, for physicist, toilet cleaner, and metallic (enriched uranium) percussion
  • 1 Page, Played Twice, originally called 2 pages, until Philip Glass admitted he decided to repeat the page twice, rather than write a second part. Nobody noticed.
  • Akhnathen!, or the Egyptian Sneeze, for twelve percussionists, 20 tacet violins, ragweed, infinite arpeggio generator and handkerchiefs
  • Coy Anna's Curtsey, or the Girl of the Golden Corral, for twelve strip-tease artists, oglers, hecklers, carbohydrates and spraypaint
  • A Man Clapping, for a man clapping
  • Sawyagramma, for old folks, multiple televisions, and quaaludes
  • Waiting for the Barbarians - oh blast: they've been here already
  • Different Brains, idea stolen from Steve "The Third" Reich, based on a wish-fulfillment dream had in therapy while at the Esalen Institute of Metamagical Navel-Gazing.
  • Music With Identical Parts, controversial two CD album. Critics accused Mr. Glass of changing the oohs and aahs too much between the parts.
  • String Quartet No. 4 ("Muzak")
  • Piece for Steve Reich...wait no, never wrote a piece for Steve Reich. Who's Steve Reich, never heard of 'em.
  • Whistling Concerto in B
  • Glassworks, sequel to Brickworks
  • Prelude to Endgame, about a master and his slave who don't know how to play chess
  • In the Summer House for violin and cello, and its sequel Behind the Bike Sheds
  • One plus One, for amplified tabletop
  • C# held for 30 minutes while an oboe plays something that sounds Egyptian, praised as his "Most unnecesssary piece this year" by the New York Times
  • Music for the film A Brief History of Time; brief is not the word.
  • 1000 Airplanes on the Roof, a subtle propaganda piece promoting nudism.
  • Hi-Gher, 1998 post-modern situationist deconstructionist reinterpretation of David Bowie's 1956 classic, largely based on William S. Burroughs "mess-up" techniques.
  • Long Off Booking, 2007 setting of poems by Leonard Cohen. Was Philip Glass's first attempt to restrict himself to four chords only. He must have thought that's how you write pop(ular) music.
  • Scratched Skipping CD, damaged items returned to Douche Gramaphone rereleased

See Also

Horrible Modern Composers
Igor Stravinsky | Paul Hindemith | Sergei Prokofiev | Anton Webern | Arnold Schoenberg | Béla Bartók | John Cage | Charles Ives | Philip Glass | Steve Reich

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