Sleeping Beauty

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“Oh sure, when a rich handsome prince does it to wake his one true love from a magic coma it's romantic, but when I'm at a party and find a hot chick I've never met before passed out and start kissing her, suddenly it's a crime. Talk about your double standards, I want my lawyer.”

~ Prince Charming

Sleeping Beauty Randy Orton takes a nap

Sleeping Beauty is the story of Rip Van Winkle, a short little man who challenged a woman to turn straw into gold and climbed her hair after a long nap. She was also, most notably, the best friend of Snow Black and they starred in the American tv show "Killing Snow White".

Story[edit]

Sleeping Beauty was originally a German fairytale. It tells the story of Rip Van Winkle, a comically short man who has a funny name and nose. One day he falls asleep and is discovered by Prince Charming who is so taken by his homoerotic beauty that he kisses him. Winkle wakes up and is disgusted with Charming, not being into guys, and flees. He soon finds out that he's been asleep for 9 years, and has been during that time elected mayor of Aspen, Colorado. Resigning his mayorship he goes on a quest taking him to a poor farm where he meets a farmer's daughter. She is also struck by his good-looks, since she was diagnosed with crazy as a child. Her father tries to force a marriage, but Winkle refuses, saying he could never marry a girl unless she could spin straw into gold. Upon failing to do so Winkle attempts to leave the farm, but the father delays him, saying his daughter knows his real name. Upon confronting her she gives him the name of 'Rumplestiltskin', at which point Winkle laughs so hard and long that she banishes herself to the tallest tower on the farm. Winkle wasn't done laughing, though, so he asks her to lower her hair to him that he may climb it and see her, pretending to be Prince Charming. She falls for it, and when he gets up there starts laughing at her again. And pointing. She commits suicide by driving a needle from a spinning-wheel into her forehead. Winkle leaves ostensibly continue his merry travels, but no more of the story is known.

The story was, like that of Prince Charming, split into different sections and stories over time, changing greatly. Often Charming takes Winkle's role in one or more of the sections of the story.

Film[edit]

Sleeping Beauty, after she wakes up from the crib.

Walt Disney made a very different version of the film than the original, changing Winkle into a woman, making the daughter part of Winkle's own (now trans-gendered) history, and replacing the roll in the story of a random tree, rock and flower with three cranky fairies fighting a proxy war against another fairy using an unwitting human prince as their pawn, lest the conflict consume the countryside as the skies be darkened by the sparkling pixie dust fallout. On the plus side the father was also cut, and replaced by Malificent, a very awesome villain who transforms into a black and green dragon that kills Charming. Winkle, now named 'Sunset', dies in the tower from pricking her finger on the ricin-laced wheel, instead of impaling her cranium on it. The film was one of the first to use CGI, featuring a digitally constructed draconian Angelina Jolie as Malificent, and is generally credited as one of the more realistic Walt ever did, due to the villain's triumph over the star-struck lovers.