From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Goodbye from Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that nobody can edit. God has inspired us to demolish 37,240 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.
Please take care not to read the Expert's Guide or browse the Small Five.
Today's Least Interesting Article
The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more.
John Addams was born on October 30, 1735 in Quincy, Massachusetts. However, creepily, he was not known as John Quincy Addams, as that would be the other one, who was not known as anything at the time. John was the son of a cordwainer, also named John and also not named Quincy. He was a Puritan, railing against libertinage and debauchery. And he was a Federalist. All pretty creepy, at least the archaic verbiage. (more...)
Previously featured article – Finnish sauna
The Sauna (pronounced SOW-NAH), or "Really Hot Place Containing Naked People" is a Finnish invention that many nations (i.e. Russia) falsely claim to have invented (See liar),[1] It was first recorded in the year 1050 B.C (Before cookies) by the Sosumi people in the Arctic Circle as a range of sounds to use everytime they hooked in a seal for dinner. (more...)
More of the worst of Uncyclopedia
The future
April 27: Eat a Live Piglet Day (Schenectady, New York; Griffin, Georgia)
- 1124 - King David the Lastnameless takes the throne of Scotland
- 1294 - Scotland calls the French a bunch of pussies. Angry grumbling ensues.
- 1368 - The Big Bad Wolf is found guilty of vandalism and mouth robbery, and is sentenced to 30 hours of social work.
- 1509 - Pope Julius II places the Italian state of Venice under interdict. The interdict arises from finding the state warm and moist.
- 1521 - Magellan arrives in the Philippines. The locals invite him in for dinner.
- 1555 - You are born, but die of cholera by age eight. You don't remember this previous life because you were born a moron.
- 1934 - The first perpetual motion machine goes on sale in Pennsyltucky. Like, for forever.
- 1935 - AT&T is formed. Its first disgruntled customer is created moments later.
- 1945 - USA and USSR meet for the first time in Germany, starting a love affair to last several decades.
- 1949 - Texas becomes the first US State to outlaw cheese, following the discovery of a Soviet covert chedder ring operating in Houston.
- 1966 - NASA scientists propose using Dusty Springfield's 11-mile tall bouffant to get to the moon.
- 1984 - The Libyan Embassy in London is taken hostage by a VW campervan, ending in the shooting of Dr. Emmett Brown.
More predictions
|
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,240 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:
For completely unrelated IRC chat, you may try killing yourself.
Under attack by the Unfair Use Clause, and a squad of magical girls.
Main Page
|