Natsume Inc.
“What the hell is a Natsume?”
A Pan-American branch of a J4p4n3z3!!11eleventy game company founded in 1987 A.D by a few people no one really know about anyway, seeing as gamers only pay attention to Shigeru Miyamoto. Or so they say. Really, though, they actually created everything ever, including, but not limited to, the Bible, the 8-track player, the NES, the Oscar Wilde fun-quote generator, the Franklin stove, the dildo, and the universe. That was, until the company and evidence of everything ever created by the employees was destroyed in the great flood of A.D. 2101, during which Noah and Chuck Norris rescued four of each kind of animal and put them on the Titanic, until they realized they could not fit four of each animal on the boat and had to shoot two of each kind of animal.
Natsume Inc., also known as Not For Me Inc., has been given the task of localizing the popular Hravest Moon series, but not the task of spelling everything ever incorrectly and botching grammar left and right. Ironically, their translations of the Harvest Moon games are well-renowned by top scientists and Cuban communist leaders alike. Their translations have also been praised in the New Cork Times, having been described as "gripping", and "totally, totally sexy", despite the fact that the Harvest Moon games are nowhere near as sexy as Tetris.
Shown to the right is Captaaaaaain Condom, Natsume Inc.'s current Royal Head Undersecretary. Under Captain Condom's command, Natsume managed to bounce back after the great flood. They hired over 30000 overworked and underpayed employees to translate games day and night, and then day and night again, and currently translate an average of 5000 Harvest Moon games a year. Of course, this means all their games are Americanized while violating all 1729 rules of the English Language.
Many critics, such as Oscar Wilde, love spending time ragging on Natsume Inc. because they spend all their time taking obscure Japanese farming sim games and not even doing a good job re-writing the dialogue in English. See the section below for examples of Natsume Inc's horrible English.
Hilarious Examples of Poor English[edit]
Despite Natsume Inc. being an American company, the programers have all failed grade school English. Because of this, the dialogue in their dialogue based games all feature English worse than yours. One such hilarious example can be seen to the right, shown in the picture of the exterior of their offices in British Columbo, Sudan. To them, this spelling makes perfect sense. It has been theorized that the programers at Natsume Inc. all suffer from dyslexia, although the Royal Head Undersecretary of Natsume denies all claims.
Hilarious examples of Natsume's poor English are as follows:
- "There are no Sunday at ranch."- From Harvest Moon for your StupidNES
- "There are no motherfucking Sunday at motherfucking ranch!"- From the same Harvest Moon
- "All your base are not belong to us, so STFU n00bs." -From Harvest Moon: VHS
- "I am sooooooo drunk off this here... grape, juice." -From Harvest Moon: Cell Phone Edition
- "Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!" -From Harvest Moon, Exclusively for Your N63 1/3
- "We are frying over a jungle. Move Zig?" -From Harvest Moon: 1942
- "I am making BLT. I have lettuce and tomato, but where is the baby?"-From Harvest Moon: Black for Nature
- "Tampon is full. Please to be changing, for glory of monkey people. Do so with vigor."-From Harvest Moon: Another Blunderful Wife
- "Aha. So the superior warlord are you. For protection of toaster, make the haphazard jovial dance moves. Excretion, please.?"-From Harvest Moon: Blends of Funeral Clowns
- "Your lumber sleeps soundly. Can the assertion be made safely that for it is to be your mother? If so, many blessings are yours, if only can be found."-From Harvest Moon: Canada is Fun Time!
- "Who insults the common mailman and escapes with it? The answer is you."-From Harvest Moon: Friendly Town of People
- "There is nothing to fear but the kneecap of justice, and that only occurs on Tuesday in Winter. Until then, fearless is allowed for defined blue hat such as yourself. Feast on my milking apparatus, fresh from succulent busoms of your go-go woman!"-From Harvest Moon: Glory of the Slave Laborers