Forgotten Books of Dr. Seuss
“My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'go to hell'”
Dr. Seuss wrote many books. Over the years some have been forgotten, gone out of print, and some never published.
I Have 120 Fingers! Do You?[edit]
This is one of my favorite of Dr. Seuss's forgotten classics. A boy in Illinois named Bert wakes up to find out he has 120 fingers. He tries to cut them all off, but more and more grow. This causes problems for him: school, breakfast, lunch, dinner, homework, and more! After a week of torment, Bert goest to the doctor's and gets the only medical cure: he has the doctor cut off his hands and has new ones surgically sewn on. This book was published in 1959, and,for some reason, hasn't been seen in book stores since 1995.
Green Eggs and Ham II: The Spawning[edit]
Just when you thought green eggs and ham were safe to eat, Dr. Seuss wrote a book in 1987 about the earth in the year 2978, where Sam-I-Am is repopulating at a rapid rate. If he keeps on repopulating, the earth will be run by Sam-I-Ams! Earth's much loved dictator, that yellow guy, says the way to stop them is to use rifles and shoot them. The book was never published for being ridiculous for a children's book and a horrible sequel. It was honored by the MTV Book Awards- Unhonorable mention for being a great book that was never published.
Look! Mr. Dooby Can Wiggle his Eyebrows![edit]
This book was published in 1974 and was out of print by 1975. In the book, a man named Mr. Dooby can do a lot of funny things. It begins to annoy a lot of forest animals. Mr. Dooby is later eaten by a black bear. It became a hit. No one knows why this isn't fondly remembered. I loved this book, and it can be purchased on Ebay.
If I Weren't Me, Who Could I Be?[edit]
Published in 1956, a kid named Jorge McMood wonders which other people he could be besides himself such as Abraham Lincoln, Genghis Khan, an orangutan living in the Ozarks, Pat Sajak, Morton Forton and Adolf Hitler. The book was ordered to be taken off the shelves by George W. Bush in 2003 being too hard for children to understand and read, as it was a history lesson. Here's one excerpt from the book:
"I could be Abraham Lincoln, and free all the slaves.
The people would love me--oh, how they would rave!
My hat would be tall, and my beard would be bushy.
Then I'd be shot in the head, and my brain would go mushy."
Another:
I could be Hitler, but I wouldn't like it at all.
My ego too big and my mustache too small.
I'd try to establish a big Master Race
But fail and just shoot myself in the face.
Abraham the Jewish Clown and Other Stories[edit]
Oy vey! This book was about a Jewish clown who likes to get drunk and pee on children at their birthday parties. He is then taken to jail for mugging an old lady. He attempts to escape out of jail for sleeping with the warden, but he is excecuted. Other stories were:
- My Life Sucks- the story of a Russian sucicide bomber's life flashing before his own eyes.
- Freezing Panda- the story of a panda who travels to Antarctica to seek cooler temperatures, but freezes to death.
- and finally How I Met Sasquatch- the story of Jordan and his friends who meet sasquatch in the mountains, and they all become friends. After 5 days, Bigfoot becomes annoyed and eats them all.
The book was published in 1950 and a week later, it was banned. It had content innapropriate for children and all ended with characters dying-too depressing and horrible to tell children. It was also thought that Dr. Seuss was antisemitic for having the first stories main character described in a horrible way. To perish the rumor, Dr. Seuss wrote The Grinch.
The Gnasher[edit]
Possibly, one of the most inhumane and demented children's books ever thought of in its time. Dr. Seuss wrote it in 1959, and he and his wife considered it his masterpiece. In the story, The Gnasher is a creature who lives in the water-filled vents beneath malls eats children in dark corners of the mall and steals things during the store's closing hours. The book contained graphic detail and extremely menacing pictures. The Gnasher was a 265-page children's book that was never published because whenever Dr. Seuss tried, said publishers were in outrage. One complained that it was "a vile work of Satan", one moved into a cave in a swamp and became a hermit, and the third hurled herself off a driving stack of moving vans into a roaring bonfire.
Dr. Seuss didn't want his masterpiece to go to waste and also made a cartoon in 1976 Here Comes the Gnasher, which was banned from every country and never aired on TV. It was sent to be burned.
But that was the '50s and 70's. Now, the story is very tame by today's standards. A copy of the book was found in Dr. Seuss's home, and people on Ebay copied it on copy machines and started selling it online. It is the #4 must-buy item on eBay.
The Librarian[edit]
In this book, a very old librarian who works at the children's section of a library becomes tired of SHHHHHHing kids all the time. At night, she goes and mixes up the books in different places and rips out some random pages, and chaos ensues! This is a very good example of Dr. Seuss's humor style. However, in 1987, it was put in the humor section of book stores, but disappeared later on. This book is still around in Australia. You know why this book is forgotten? Have you ever heard of it?
Bartholemew and the Skank[edit]
Made as a sequel to The 500 Hats of Bartholemew Cubbins and Bartholemew and the Oobleck, Bartholemew falls in love with the king's young daughter, and the king is angry to find out Bartholemew and his daughter are having an affair. He has Bartholemew banished from the kingdom. Bartholemew travels homeless for months until he reaches Mongolia. He enlists the help of Genghis Khan and his army of Huns, and they burn the King's castle to the ground. Parents found this book too inappropriate for children and had it banned. On Ebay, I found a copy, and I thought it's the best Bartholemew book written.
It's a Snap![edit]
It's a Snap! is the story about an old man named Morris who goes the the park to entertain people with his strange talent of musically snapping his fingers. A talent agent hires him, and he goes across the globe on tour. This book was published in 1957. In 1972, The book was taken of the shelves (and Dr. Seuss was unsuccessfully sued for) being a copy of Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece, Seven Samurai, which, yes, makes absolutley no sense, which is why the book was republished in 1993 in order of the estate of Mr. Kurosawa and the book has never been popular since then.
Dr. Seuss's Crazy![edit]
In this book, a children's author named Seussian Sylvester has himself taken to a mental institution, telling the men he wants to die and has men come up with ways to have him die, such as smoking and covering himself in gasoline, diving into the pool with a toaster and spending the night in a shopping mall to fight the aforementioned Gnasher. The book was published in 1974 and became a massive hit. Dr. Seuss immediately had it taken off the shelves because people didn't understand the book was a metaphor- it was practically a book telling people that he wanted to die! Of course, that was just a sad period for him, and he, after a few weeks, wanted to live again.