Forum:Benson Stinks!!!

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Excuse the title, but I need to talk with the Great Benson for a while. (Throws away all my weapons)

Benson, do you know that I don't believe you are omnipotent? Why do you have to yell? What caused you to claim that, and I quote, "WHISKEY IS BETTER THEN BENSON."? What are you compared to Sophia, Chuck Norris, Mr. T., and Jack Bauer? Who put you into TYATU? DO you know that if you try to kill me with your betterness that you will die? Did you know that the ASPTG will vandalize your page if you injure me? Did you know I'm done asking you these questions, and am waiting for your reply? Did you know that you are lying down in pain because of my extreme sarcasm? Did you know that you take a while to reply? Did you know I am really done with my questions now? Thank you. Just reply now, thanks. --Meganew 20:43, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh my god. HERETIC! HERESY!

You do know, that without Benson, Benson's House Of 3-D Pancakes, or this forum, would not exist. Besides, Benson would team up with Chuck Norris, leads Sophia, can pity Mr. T, and is Jack Bauer's leader in the CTU. Kthxbai. SPARTAN-984|Chat here|What I've Done 20:55, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Ahem... I asked for Benson, and all I got was one of his followers? I am thinking that Benson is becoming senile after all, if he's not willing to answer my few pitiful little questions. He's supposed to be bold. --Meganew 21:23, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

have you ever considered what the outside life must be like? --Nachlader 21:31, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Not really, considering that Benson's "Betterness" would kill anything within a 12 mile radius. Either way, could you guys please get Benson to answer my questions? --Meganew 22:24, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Like Benson would ever lower himself to speak to you. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:29, 5 Feb

Don't make me bring out the Powershot sockpuppet... (No. I was not the Powershot IP) --Meganew 01:05, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

Unfortunately, even if you WERE to bring out the Powershot sockpuppet, BENSON would still be better than you. VT 02:33, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

BENSON left us long ago. What remains are the crumbled ruins of a mighty empire that grew quickly and violently, and that died kicking and screaming. It was an earlier time, one of heroes and legends, when gods walked the wiki and the funny ran like raging rivers of... something appropriately metaphorical. BENSON was the mightiest of these living legends, and his exploits were recorded by Yours Truly and a few assistants: The Chronicles of BENSON --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 05:40, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

See? Benson hath forsaken thee... He left Uncyclopedia. By the way, those Chronicles of BENSON are actually quite interesting, from a historical point of view. --Meganew 15:39, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

BENSON IS BETTER THAN YOU!

-Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:46, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

My reply?...

BENSON IS NOT BETTER THEN ME!!!

--Meganew 17:26, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

Please. Benson is better than all of us together. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:45, 6 Feb

Then explain why Benson is not better then whiskey... By the way, some IP posted a topic about Powershot. --Meganew 17:47, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

However, nobody cares, because BENSON is better than the IP. VT 23:11, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

Also, you should use 'than", not "then", if you're going to compare several entities. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:16, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

Benson would have known this. -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:01, 7 Feb

If Benson was an admin, he'd let this continue, but tell Jack Bauer to arrest him, Chuck Norris to kick his ass, Sophia to mop up the rest, and Mr. T to pity him. Then he'd ban Meganew until Judgement Day (aka permanent). SPARTAN-984|Chat here|What I've Done 20:52, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

But if Benson was made an admin, the fabric of space and time would unravel... the universe would come to an end! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 20:54, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

Is Benson, in fact, better than the fabric of space and time? VT 22:20, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

If so, we are doomed... --Meganew 16:08, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Check the Cthulhu page on Cthulhu's Wager. Apply that to Benson. If you believe/nonbelieve in Benson and he does not exist, you get nothing. If you believe in Benson and he exists, you become the best Uncyclopedian ever along with thousands of others. EVER. If you don't and he exists, you'll be banned from the Internet, life, and the universe permanently. S-984 14:45, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh, I believe he exists, but not as an all-powerful deity. --Meganew 19:47, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

Then you are destined to be eaten by wild rodents. VT 21:36, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

Eaten by wild rodents my a**!!! --Meganew 22:02, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

I don't understand. Your what? Are you trying to say ass? You don't have to censor yourself. That would be fucking stupid. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 22:24, Feb 15

CENSORSHIP IS AGAINST THE LAW! S-984 03:21, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

I completely didn't noticed your new sig, Spartan. Not Nice. VT 14:48, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, but I come from a place where censorship is very common. --Meganew 16:03, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

Elementary school? VT 16:29, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

I come from #halopedia. You can't say fuck three times there without getting kicked. But it's still a good place. S-984 16:31, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

No. High school. It causes me a lot of trouble when I can't speak my mind. --Meganew 16:39, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

You know you have no life when you're afraid to cuss in high school. VT 17:00, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

I always thought saying the phrase "and shit" at the end of each sentence was part of the US education system. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:16, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

You're wrong, unfortunately. --Meganew 18:23, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

Only in Los Angeles. In the South, they teach the phrase "with a shotgun". Sounds better, y'know? VT 20:52, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

I know exactly what Nachlader is talking about and shit. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 21:26, Feb 16

JOE9320 IS BETTER THAN BENSON!

Who the hell is BENSON? |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Giratina CUN|IC Kill | 07:47, 17 February 2009 (UTC)

Some rediculous deity worshiped by the Bensonists. You'll also find Christianity, Ouroborosism, Bensonism, Powershotism, and Goatsism. So, are you the Priset of the temple of Goa Tse? --Meganew 17:34, 17 February 2009 (UTC)