Forum:How do I create a sock puppet?

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Um... this is probably kind of a stupid question, but how can I make a sock puppet? I've never had one before, but -- hey! -- they say you should try something new every day. How many should I make? Is there a template or something? -- Sir Armando Perentie KUN FP 14:48, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

I usually make one at a time, if only because socks originally come in pairs and one is inevitably but inexplicably lost in the wash. Just take the unmatched sock from the broken pair, add a pair of googly eyes (available at sewing stores) - a button or just about anything can be used for the nose - and if you want to add a head of hair then a small bundle of string or wool will usually do the trick. MS-Windows™ users will also need to install WINSOCK.DLL. Not much else around as a use for the mismatched socks. Using socks as a more secure alternative to stocks to store wealth would make sense if I had any wealth, but Uncyclopedia doesn't pay me in sock options quite yet. --Carlb 17:18, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

good question. i already have a labrador, a doberman and a parrot. i think a sock puppet would make a nice pet to add to this bunch. preferably green if such a colour is available. let's see who can help us here. -- mowgli 14:57, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

You'e obviously new, Armando. Sock puppets are generally frowned upon here...

1.) Go to login/create account at the top of your screen.
2.) Create a new account under a different name (same password if you want)
3.) Profit!
4.) Now you get to have TWICE as many votes as everyone else! Go crazy!
5.) You can have up to six sockpuppets. After that, the admins get suspicious. And no, you don't get a template! (Unless you make one yourself)
6.) 10 points if you can find someone else's sockpuppet.
So yeah...don't do it, Armando; it's wrong and very disruptive! --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 15:22, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Hell, I was only kidding, playing the clueless n00b. Bastard of thing to do, I know, but at least I didn't use a sock puppet to do it. I was going to let it run for 12 hours or so and then come clean, but I felt bad. No hard feelings, Diz? -- Sir Armando Perentie KUN FP 15:37, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

No hard feelings, just managed to kill five minutes, so i actually thank you. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 20:00, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

I have a sock puppet that I have literally never used. Maybe I should actually use it or something. - Sir Real Hamster {la} {talk} {contribs} 19:53, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

I think sock puppets are hidious abominations and the scourge of all men, they are just fuckin' evil.--Nobody 19:54, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Sorry, the latter was my sockpuppet, it seems to have an identity problem and talks without me asking it to. -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 20:02, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

I have several thousand sockpuppets. They just hand them out when you get sysopped, you know, as a welcoming gift.   t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 20:24, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Seriously, sock puppets are 100-percent lame, and can even lead to undesirable psychological consequences. If you should feel like your sock puppet activities are leading you down the path to self-destruction, be sure to seek professional help as soon as possible, if necessary from a qualified psychotherapist. And by all means, whatever you do, avoid link spamming at all costs. Ain't nothin' worse than that, no sirree.  c • > • cunwapquc? 20:56, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

• I once made a sock puppet. It has made five edits. I basicly didn't anyone to steal the name, so I registered it. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 23:37, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Thanks, Diz. By the way, I know a guy who has this sock that he keeps under his computer desk, and the thing can pretty much stand up on its own. Does that count as a sock puppet? -- Sir Armando Perentie KUN FP 00:21, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

No - you're talking about a "cock puppet," then. It's impossible for sock puppets to stand up on their own.  c • > • cunwapquc? 00:33, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

Not true. Combined with the proper amount of startch any sock, puppet, or any variation of the two can, in theory, stand on their own. However, it's not recommended, as this essentially kills the sockpuppet.   t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:48, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

Socks can do anything if you work enough at it. I even had this one that became an admin once. --SpangSock! 02:34, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

Hmmm... so if, ahem, "starch", kills sock puppets we could start a sock-puppet eradication program by getting all users to send in a donation of their own, ahem, "starch"? -- Sir Armando Perentie KUN FP 02:37, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

Nice idea, I'm filling up a jar of it already. Who do I address it to? --Superbo 11:02, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

I heard somewhere that the natural enemies of socks is teddy bears. So here's what you do: Take your sock puppet to a children's hospital. When all the children's teddies realize there's a sock puppet in the building (they'll recognize it from the smell), you can let the carnivorous bloodshed begin. I say we round up as many teddy bears as we can and unleash them randomly into different places on uncyclopedia. that way, no sock puppet will be left standing. How bout it? --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 13:39, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

That's good. There's a large supply in the Plushies article, waiting for any sockpuppets to come along. I think, however, that the best places to put them are in Special:Recentchanges and the voting pages. ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 13:49, 2 August 2006 (UTC)