International Association For Important Unnecessary Acronyms
“It's a sorry man who can not invent an acronym to fit his situation.”
The International Association for Important Unnecessary Acronyms (IAIUA), or as the French would say, L'International Association for Important Unnecessary Acronyms (L'IAIUA), is an internationally organized, non-profit corporation that has responsibility for acronym generation, assignment, and management. These services were originally performed under U.S. Government contract by the Assigned Acronyms Authority (AAA) and other entities (Such as the US Military and Sprint Nextel). IAIUA now performs the AAA function.
IAIUA was founded by Lord Randall Scott Fitzgerald Kennedy III, Duke of Huh?, in the year 0 AC. At that time there were few acronyms, and the ones that did exist were poorly constructed (Such as "centraL INTelligence agencY" -- lintY). Lord Randall (RSFK3DoH?) assembled the finest acronym experts of the day, including Franklin D. Roosevelt (FDR), Captain Kirk (JTK), and Bachman Turner Overdrive and turned them into the single most important, influential, powerful, don't-fuck-with-us (DFWU) organization in Nebraska.
In 408 AC, the IAIUA was drawn into a legal battle with the ultra-conservative religious organization, Creedence Clearwater Revival (CCR). CCR had taken offense at the issuance of an acronym to a small Munchkinland, Illinois healthclub called "Jumping Energetic Short Ugly Suckas" (Jesus). CCR argued, "The Bible says the name of the Lord should not be taken in vain." However, the judge ruled that since VAIN had already been issued to the Venetian Art Inventory Network, the authors of the Bible had no legal rights to the term, and ordered all English language Bibles' phrasing changed to, "Thou shalt not use the Lord's name in Maine."
Today, the IAIUA remains the foremost authority on acronyms. All acronyms must be approved by and registered with IAIUA before use. Recently, the IAIUA has come under fire from acronym users worldwide. The argument is IAIUA, being a world-wide monopoly, needs to open up the lucrative acronym registration market to Competitive Realistic Alternative Choices (CRAC). Competition, it's argued, could improve the quality of the acronyms available, as well as lower the Acronym Registration Fees (ARF). The Supreme Administrative Person (SAP) of the IAIUA, Dirk Diggler, had this response:
As time progresses, the IAIUA becomes more sophisticated, therefore being able to abbreviated more and more words, eventually writing in only abbreviations. Here is a sample
"WWFAWDNKWTE. AFTER LAST BDAH, BWTIBCAWWCITNT. OP BY MAN [[<insert name here>|YWD]]. PB."
- My friend told me one day, "Hey, the IAIUA is an internationally organized, non-profit corporation that has the responsibility for acronym generation, assignment, and management."