James Comey
James Comey (born 1960) is the most corrupt law enforcer to grace the USA's Halls of Justice since J. Edgar Hoover hung up his dress and retreated back into the closet.
Hard hitting Fox News reporters have confirmed that Comey is 'as rotten as hell' and 'bent as a nine dollar note'. His allegations that President Donald Trump is a pervert with a porn star addiction is so wide of the mark that it deserves the contempt of everyone with a degree at Trump University.
A Life of Crime
James Comey comes from a long line of suits. He grew up to become a lawyer and so..became one. He has had no experience as as a soldier, policeman or a go-go dancer at the Pussycat Nightclub in Las Vegas. He was on a fast track to a quiet life and gold platted pension when in 2013 another criminal recognised his latents. President Barack Obama appointed him head of the FBI. Comey's mission, which he chose to undertake, was to pretend to be a solid conservative Republican but to be secretly working to prevent Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump becoming president. The plan was for Barack Obama to continue as America needed to be saved from these two 'lunatics'.
Sink the Hillary!
Hillary Clinton was the first to. Sunk by her own private email server and its 30,000 emails listing all of Bill Clinton's paternity suits. Cleverly Comey pretended to have found 'nothing of value' which allowed Hillary to run on as the 'Mrs Clean' candidate until a few days before the 2016 election, Comey said they found attachments sent to Hillary's email server showing a congressman's private parts. These turned out to be disgraced Democrat Anthony Weiner who thought he was emailing a woman with a very similar name to Hillary.
Within hours Hillary was facing questions about her suitability to become president and if elected, she would start a nuclear war with Russia.
Donald Trump
The incredible victory of Trump in 2016 (soon to be made into a movie with Sylvester Stallone as Trump) at first seemed to herald the renaissance of America. But part 2 of the Comey-Obama plan now went into action. A dossier compiled by an effete British spook in Moscow claimed that Trump was a Russian asset and was ready to give our enemies all the nuclear launch codes. The expectation was that Trump would resign before becoming president, thus voiding his victory and letting Obama carry on with his plan to become a lifetime tenant of the White House.
The President Acts
Donald Trump had an instinctive distrust of Comey. He couldn't quite know what the problem was but when he started objecting to some of the president's highly motivated and trained appointments, Trump acted. He sacked Comey and sent him one of his spare pistols so that Comey could commit suicide in private to prevent his career crashing. Comey refused the generous offer and was sacked. He then promised to write a children's book but lied. It was going to be a spill-the-beans door jammer.
Comey's Big Book of Lies
After a long wait, the book came out titled My Slime Ball Memories. Angry bookshops filed it immediately under 'Trash Fiction'. Comey was humiliated. Now the president is expecting this liar-writer to be arrested, imprisoned and tried for High Treason and Egregious Libel. With the right judges, the president will win this and no one in future will have to worry or think about James Comey.