Monotheism v2

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Monotheism v2 is the newest version of Monotheism. It is slated to be released in 2020, marking the longest interval between two releases of the faith.

Unlike its predecessors, Monotheism v2 will be founded entirely on UNIX. It will also be the first to use GUI.

History[edit]

God first recognized the need for a newer version of monotheism when customers started buying ideas that were not compatible with any of the existing faiths. Especially embarrassing was the Y1K1D1X7I Bug, where some users of the Christian platform found that there faith no longer worked in Christian networks. Other problems with the older platforms included:

Some of the problems were fixed with patches, the biggest of which was the Church of Latter Day Saints (Monotheism v1.1). But in 1901, God realized that the bugs were too ingrained in the faiths to be fixable, and announced that a new version would be released within fifty years. The result, Scientology, was one of the greatest flops in religion history.

“Even worse than Windows Me. I'm not exactly sure what Windows Me is, but it's really bad.”

~ President Dwight D. Eisenhower, on Scientology

Following the Scientology failure, Heaven immediately set out to creating a new faith, "Project Tree Frog," completely revamping it instead of keeping most bits and just adding stuff about messiahs, prophets, and space operas.

Differences from predecessors[edit]

Monotheism has a single, simple option.

Unlike previous versions, v2 will have a graphical user interface. For example, instead of a command-line interface using commands such as "Thou shalt not kill," v2 will use pictures. (Release has been delayed by debate on how to portray, "Thou shalt not commit adultery.")

For additional "user-friendliness," a customer plug-in will overhaul the Ten Commandments, which were the object of frequent complaint in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. The add-on "Project Christ" tried to reduce this number to only two, but never caught on. Monotheism v2 will have One Suggestion:

  • Thou shalt try thy best to not be a complete tool. (Still in beta)

The new system will also get rid of Heaven, and just send everyone to Hell. This simplification will appeal to people who never bothered with religion because they thought the current version was too demanding.