Morbidly Obese Penguin
“I've never even heard of a morbidly obese penguin? What is this quote doing here? Its a shameless plug!”
“Shut up! its good publicity!”
“The only M.O.P. I've ever seen was my mother in-law.”
The Morbidly Obese Penguin is known on the internet as M.O.P., and may or may not be watching you right now. Look around. He was also known as the King of Chaos, thanks in part to his KFA rising. The government is currently attempting a cover-up. M.O.P. had a really big body, but was about as intelligent as a prosecuting attorney.
Early career[edit]
During his childhood, he took part in the animated series Pokémon. However, his rude and obnoxious behaviour got him kicked off the show. Luckily, he had made it into the obscure, but still freaking awesome, show Pengu. He was first seen in episode 27: Pengu Loses His Virginity. He then left to join MTV's Punked for a few seasons. However, this was turned down for his dream job as a fluffer in a porno. Attempting to reconcile with Pengu, M.O.P. visted him in the hospital, but Pengu dismissed his apology, still annoyed about the incident in episode 27.
Rise to fame[edit]
M.O.P. was now in pain and dealing with his acid-speed addiction, caused by self-medication after breaking his foot when attempting flight. He was separately approached by Justin Timberlake and Whoopi Goldberg for record deals and movie roles, respectively. He decided to go with Justin, and M.O.P. appeared in the music video Fat in a Box. M.O.P. has yet to be questioned about his views concerning the song.
The Morbidly Obese Penguin's blog[edit]
“HOW DARE YOU POST IMAGES OF ME WITH HOT TEEN POP ICON, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE??? THE MORBIDLY OBESE PENGUIN IS THIS CLOSE TO RAPING YOU! BLARGGGGGGGGH! For all you wondering, yes, I am THE REAL M.O.P. AND NOTHING STANDS IN MY WAY EXCEPT SOUP KITCHENS AND ACID! IT MAKES ME THINK I CAN FLY. BLARRRRRHHGHGHH!”
The above photo was captured outside of the M.O.P.'s blog, which has since been shut down due to an increased number of orphans and and the war in Darfur. The closure of M.O.P.'s blog caused several court cases concerning the legality of underage murder. During this time, M.O.P. went into hiding until the infamous 1996 Teen Choice Awards where he attempted to grind on Beyonce, knocking off her accent mark in the process. He forgot that she was against interspecies breeding, and he was consequently rejected. His popularity declined as his alleged orphan attacks began to surface. When questioned about this, M.O.P. asked the reporter if he was willing to donate children to him. The reporter punched M.O.P. in the face.
KFA and the Orphan Cannon[edit]
It all began on the 30th of February, a date from that moment on said not to exist. M.O.P. revealed the Orphan Cannon, a cannon said not to exist. The cannon energy was supplied by shredding orphans with equal parts uranium, plutonium and geranium. M.O.P. surmised that the screams of the children would give more power to the cannon. He would then use the cannon on a parent's convention, creating more orphans. His plan was flawless. But he never counted on The Dark One`s interference. The Dark One was a man he met over a game of Half Life, and they became friends. The Dark One was the leader of KFA, Killing Fucked Animals, or something along those lines. M.O.P. was secretly a member. The Dark One, Or Darky for short, found about the cannon and stole it. That left M.O.P. without a means to finish his death threat. The UN refused his demands and didn't buy any of his stock.
Justin Timberlake, having worked with M.O.P., realized that he was up to something. He convinced Janet Jackson to help him show the world that M.O.P. was evil and he didn't really have any candy for children. They worked together and unvieled it all at the Super Bowl. However the masses didn't really care, because they saw the Boob of Glory, and chaos ensued.
The Morbidly Obese Penguin and The Aztec Falcon[edit]
This was M.O.P.'s planned production with the help of Fox. The storyline has the Morbidly Obese Penguin, a childhood fan of pr0n, deciding to make a fortune by playing poker in the Royal Casino. However to enter he is required to find the Aztec Falcon, a legendary bird hiding under the sewers of Ottawa.
So far the movie is in post-production. When asked if the M.O.P. knew what that meant, he responded, " Eat six piles of huffed-cat-milk-goat-donkey-mom."