Template:PeopleNews

• Proof the CIA is using leprechauns to keep the black man down (pictured)
• Airport staff want to see your junk.
• Organized crime, America's farmers, no match for millions of bored Facebook users.
• America's politicians decide to become disc jockeys.
• Satan lets loose evil opossums, demon-possessed proctologists.
• Kanye wins an epic battle against Lil Wayne in a Twinkie eating Contest
• Charlie Sheen arrested for assaulting the fat kid from Two and a Half Men
• Even Dick Cheney may become a Wolf when the Wolfbane blooms
• Boxer Mike Tyson new spokesperson for General Mills cereals.
• Aliens shut down high-value UFO sighting reporting unit, now prepared for all-out invasion of UK.
• Gary Kirsten presents his revolutionary methods of training for Indian cricketers.
• Tigger Woods Loses His Bounce in the Pooh Sticks Gate Scandal.
• Europe has a new Emperor with a funny name - ideal for tabloid headlines.
• British actor dies . Americans may know who he was.
• Grim Reaper commits suicide after massive week of celebrity deaths
• Some old guy died, or something (ask your parents)