UnBooks:Professional wrestling slang

Professional wrestling is a rich, ancient culture that has been making a comeback in the last century. With its cultural revival has also come the language, which was derived from the language of the Spartans.

Professional Wrestling slang was first taught by George Bernard Shaw in 1908 when he lost a thumb wrestling contest to Oscar Wilde, who distracted him with what he first perceived as complete and utter gibberish. What Shaw did not realize was that Oscar, who had extensive wrestling experience, had not completed his translations for Over 9000 years. When Oscar received word that Shaw was teaching a course, he returned to translating the entire language to make it as complete as recovered records can allow. Oscar Wilde's translations are the modern international standard.

Most scholars agree that Yale University currently has the best four-year degree course in the education of Professional Wrestling slang (others argue Dartmouth). For example, the Allied Powers used Yale scholars with doctorates in professional wrestling slang as code-talkers, which ultimately turned the tide of the war. Professional wrestling slang scholar Stephen Hawking wrote a book that explained professional wrestling in layman's terms called A Brief History of Professional Wrestling Slang. It went on to become #2 on the New York Times best selling list, trumped only by Dan Brown's equally scholarly achievement The Da Vinci Code.

The book was also an important milestone for the Catholic Church, for the movie The Passion of the Christ could finally be made with authentic professional wrestling slang, as Jesus and all of Judea would have spoken it.

A

A Show - A show is any program that shows images that are mostly cohesive and coherent and show relative continuity from one frame to the next, particularly in a professional wrestling context. There are some professional wrestling presentations that are not in fact a show because they lack one of the above criteria, otherwise known as a B Show.

A Team - This was a wrestling stable that was centered around World Heavyweight Champion Mister T. They were legendary for their "Stormtrooper-Style" matches.

Abortion - Any match that features a female aborting her fetus in the middle of the match. These are typically the most bloody hardcore matches, and are only conducted by bloodthirsty lib'rals.

Andre Shot - Any match that features a close-up shot of a wrestler's private parts, particularly Andre the Giant's. The more naked, the more deserving of the name.

Agent - Any match where a contender in a match inexplicably transforms into a man in a suit with sunglasses. This often leads to their opponent being devastated.

Alignment - All wrestlers fall somewhere on the Good-Evil, Lawful-Chaotic axis. Any wrestler who does not play their alignment properly are docked money off of of their paycheck. See Dungeons & Dragons for more information.

Angle - Named after Special Olympic Bronze Medalist Kurt Angle, this term refers to any wrestler that ends up defeating themself in the middle of a match.

Apter Mag - When a wrestler has had their mouth beaten so badly that they pronounce "aftermath" as "apter mag."

Arm Color - A wrestler who painted their arm for no discernable reason, usually the result of painting.

Around the World - Whenever a particular wrestler performs the yo-yo trick of the same name to knock out their opponents. See the film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze for a particularly great example of this.

Attitude Era - That period of time when the WWF shifted from "family-oriented" sweaty, half-naked men to "edgier" and more crude, fully clothed men.

B

B Show - Any professional wrestling presentation that lacks at least one of the following: cohesion, coherence, continuity. WWE's RAW and T&A's Impact are often mistaken for being a show, when they are actually B shows.

B-Team - The new name for the A Team when Mister T left, leaving them without coherence, cohesion, nor continuity. This was controversial because the A Team was on the WWE's RAW brand, which is a show on Monday night. Their very appearance created a bizarre vortex above the crowd that night, resulting in the first C Show.

Babyface - Any wrestler that never fully developed an adult face and whose testicles never dropped. See Bobby Lashley.

Backyard Wrestling - A long and proud tradition practiced by aspiring young performers with dreams of the big city in their heads. These can lead to low-production, but high-quality, musicals.

Bait and Switch - A horrid promoter tactic that involves luring customers with large, delicious worms, but then packing the seats with fish. It has much of it's origins in Soviet Russia.

Batman Match - Any match that features the dynamic tag team of Batman and Robin. The most famous example of this involves Batman and Robin battling a shark in a 2-on-3 Handicap Batcopter on a Pole Match that ended with Batman spraying the shark (with Tajiri's Winterfresh mist), dropping it, and reclaiming the coveted Batcopter on a pole.

Beat Down - Any match featuring the musical stylings of rap, and it leads to a wrestler being killed in the ring, usually by gun shot. See also Andre Shot, Carry, and John Cena.

Bizarro World - See Soviet Russia.

Blade - A comic book superhero that battles the forces of vampires. Blade also has an extensive career in the ring, including a legendary Japanese Death Match with Stephen Dorff.

Blading - Any wrestler that deliberately steals Blade 's moves or motives.

Blind - A physiological state of lacking eyesight. This is not recommended for wrestling, unless you are Daredevil, a famous puroresu from Japan that dresses in all red leather.

Blind Tag - A very cruel, however funny, game that involves tagging your blind friend, declaring that they are "it" and leaving them alone for hours on end. The more you have to stifle your laughs, the funnier it is.

Blow Off - A wrestling match of extremely pornographic nature. See also Andre Shot.

Blow Up - A wrestling match where one of the contenders is physically exploded. Former WWE Intercontinental champion Wile E. Coyote is notorious for this finisher.

Blown Spot - The climax of a Blow Off.

Bonzo Gonzo - The Great Gonzo's infamous match finish involving wrestlers being shot out of cannons. This inadvertently lead to T&A's X-Division.

Booker - A former king and current T.

Booking - Booker T's tag team with ING.

Botch - To screw up, particularly in a professional wrestling context.

Bozark - Whenever the B-Team arrived at the Ozark Mountains. These were never good B-shows.

Bowling Shoe Tendencies - The tendency of bowling shoes to be worn in the ring as a form of fashion. See John Cena.

Bowling Shoe Ugly - When a wrestler has been brutally stomped in the face to the point of needing extensive cosmetic surgery with bowling shoes.

Boys - What female wrestlers go crazy about, but rarely see from their cages.

Broadway - The ultimate achievement for a backyard wrestler.

Brocking - Snapping a stalk of broccoli to intimidate your opponent. This is often very effective, if not downright evocative.

Bull - A male wrestler that is predominantly raised to impregnate female wrestlers to reproduce more wrestlers.

Bum - A wrestler's naked ass. See also Andre Shot.

Bump - Two wrestlers competing for an Andre Shot.

Bump Card - An entire wrestling program that consists of wrestling matches where they do nothing but compete for Andre Shots. These are wildly popular in Japan.

Bury - An impromptu funeral service that is held if a wrestler is killed in the ring. This happened a lot in the Attitude Era.

Busted Open - When a fat wrestler's pants rip apart, probably while Bumping.

C

C Show - When the B Team arrived on Monday Night Raw, a vortex formed in the sky and out came ECW, an unprecedented new style of show featuring hardcore and extreme wrestling. It was an exciting style of wrestling never seen before, but its abysmal ratings drove it to become a D Show.

C Team - By the time of ECW, Hannibal had long since left the group for rival promotion WCW's Saggyweight Championship circuit. This left ECW with only three main eventers to choose from, making its ratings sink into a D Show called Velocity.

Call - When a wrestler receives a cell phone call during a match. Fucking cell phones!

Canned Heat - Similar to a can of whoopass, but instead a mild heat wave is emitted when opened. This is enough to make the wrestler uncomfortable and seek the thermostat.

Card - The lineup of wrestling matches for a show. Nothing more, nothing less.

Carny - Circus folk, small hands, smell like cabbage.

Carry - (Jim) Legendary heel wrestler from Memphis who worked under the moniker Andy Kaufman. Also: To transport a concealed weapon into the ring, possibly for the purpose of killing your opponent.

Catchphrase - A particularly clever zinger that a star wrestler uses just before the closing credits.

Championship - The wrestler with the belt. Even if the belt is stolen, that thief is now the champion. It's a rough life.

Cheap Heat - To garner heat in the arena by actually using the thermostat. This is now a rare occurrence due to the rising cost of heating oil.

Cheap Pop - When an arena actually sells pop for $0.50 a can. This is a mere fantasy though.

Cheap Shot - When a wrestler that is Carrying shoots his opponent. This is cheap and is way too easy a way to defeat your opponent, so this is frowned upon by traditionalists.

Chemistry - A major, influential branch of science that has improved the quality of civilization, but has little to do with professional wrestling. *Wink-wink-nudge-nudge*

Circus - Where Carnies dwell.

Claret - East End British slang for music played with a clarinet. Such announcers will typically say, "Give us some clar'et!"

Clean Finish - When a match ends without bodily fluids or paint all over the place. This is not favored by traditionalists.

Clean House - After a show, a janitor cleans the arena, particularly the ring area, of bodily fluids and paint. This is a much coveted occupation.

Closet Champion - When a wrestler is champion and gay but no one knows it, so they take their colleagues for a night on the town, only to ruin it by announcing that they are secretly the champion and gay. The most famous ex-Closet Champion is Hard Gay.

Clobberin' - Former WWE Hardcore Champion Ben "The Thing" Grimm's pre-match Catchphrase. Announcers today allude to this when a wrestler was clearly pounded into a fine, pink mist by their opponent.

Clusterfuck - A highly pornographic match featuring many wrestlers in the middle of the ring. This is almost never a Clean Finish.

Color - There are two definitions: 1) A racist remark concerning non-white wrestlers or 2) A wrestler covered in buckets of paint, in hopes of achieving a Crimson Mask.

Color Commentator - An announcer that is actually there to get a wrestler painted.

Crash TV - A dangerous camera technique that involves driving a car in the arena to get shots of the wrestlers to post on YouTube.

Crimson Mask - When a wrestler has been painted so much that the fumes cause bleeding of eyes and nose. This gets huge standing ovations from crowds. See The Muta Scale and Ric Flair, one of the most famous bearers.

Curtain Jerker - A wrestler that can't get laid after a show.

Cynical Grinch - A term for hating absolutely everything about pro wrestling for the sake of hating it, because you think that the whole industry owes you for being a fan for God knows how many years, and they don't deliver most of the time. What can you expect with Vince Russo still being alive? Inspired by Andy Quann, co-host of the 'comedic' radio show The Suplah.

D

D Show - Wrestling presentations that are so bad that they try to recap the better shows. WWE's Velocity is one such example of a D Show.

D&D Show - On one particular episode of Velocity that saw its ratings double, the C Team got into the ring and played Dungeons & Dragons because they knew that everyone there didn't give a shit about the wrestling recaps. This was revolutionary because it not only brought national attention to both the table-top gaming and professional wrestling demographics, but it also gave rise to the E Show.

D Team - Unlike the C Team, the D Team was considered superior because of their strategy of using audience participation for tactical relays.

Dark Match - A wrestling match that is done entirely in pitch-black dark, and it is home of the most insane wrestling this side of Wrestling Society X. See also Blind.

Daydreaming - When a wrestler is not paying attention to the match, which is usually followed up by a Beat Down.

Dead Weight - When a match must continue without a Burial.

The Deal - A special match tactic often used by Vince McMahon, in which he gambles with his opponent using a series of briefcases filled with money.

Dirtsheet - A special, non-clean finish that involves a wrestler crapping in their shorts. Very nasty, and very cool to the fans. Sycho Sid is the most famous Dirtsheeter.

Diva - A very affeminate wrestler who is a primadonna. See also Closet Champion and Gig.

Do Business - See Dirtsheet.

Dogging - When a promoter risks losing ratings by showcasing an ugly woman on a show.

Doing Business on the Way Out - When a wrestler Does Business while running at full speed. This led George Carlin to renounce his anti-professional wrestling slang ways permanently when he observed this at the six-hour WWE event "No Way Out" in which Scott Steiner was tricked into taking laxatives instead of steroids, and tried to find the way out. The fact that he was in the first match and that the Pay-Per-View lives up to its name led to the biggest Dirtsheet in professional wrestling history.

Double Clutch - When a wrestler fails at their first Brocking attempt, and looks very underwhelming to their opponent as a direct result of their failure.

Double Juice - When two wrestlers paint each other in a brutal, death-defying exchange.

Double Turn - The rare occurrence when the Babyface both turns into a man, and then into a woman in the same match. This is usually followed up by an Andre Shot for confirmation.

Down South - A term used to refer to any move that victimizes any body part below the belt, like the Bum. This is frequently heard during a Blow Off.

Draw - In the rare occurrence that both opponents are Carrying, they engage in a classic Western gun duel, which in turn usually leads to a Cheap Shot and a Bury. This has become so popular that it is often featured as the only form of wrestling, being called "shoot wrestling" and is featured extensively on WWE Monday Night Draw.

Drawing Power - The speed of which a wrestler can Draw.

Dropping the Strap - When a wrestler reveals that they are in fact a woman in disguise. See also Closet Champion and Potato.

Dud - A stud from a Bizarro World.

Dusty Finish - After a Draw, the dust settles, and if it's a Clean Finish, it's a Dusty Finish.

E

E Show - During the height of the Mania Era and with the success of the D&D Show Vince McMahon decided to take the show in an interesting new direction by showcasing celebrities on the show in street and awards show interviews. This was a pretty successful format for a year until they interviewed Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson who promptly joined the currently floundering D&D Team, forming the F Team and thusly the first F Show.

End - Also known as Finis in Latin.

Enforcer - A wrestler that sucks so much that they become glorified bodyguards. See T&A wrestler A-1.

Enmascarado - Ancient Latin for a wrestler that uses mascara. See also Closet Champion.

Extended Hope - When a wrestler miraculously gains a clear advantage in a Blow Off but they are also in danger of a Blown Spot that could cost them the match.

Extreme Wrestling - A style of wrestling shown on MTV and its ilk that is just so EXTREEEEEME! compared to the others. Like other extreme sports, winners are not determined by clear stipulations, but instead are decided upon by a panel of judges. This style developed from the extremely technical style of Plant wrestling.

Extremists - Wrestlers that are actually terrorists working undercover. Osama bin Laden is the most famous example, when he worked under our noses as the first Sabu.

F

F Show - A Show with fucking and sucking for the fans enjoyment. TNA's original aim was to create such a show.

F Team - When Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson joined the D&D Team and created the first F Show which brought back the patented C Show style of Hardcore wrestling, the Attitude Era began. However, due to a contract loophole, they left after a week, turning it into a G Show.

Face - Short for Babyface, so you know what to expect.

Face in Peril - A Babyface that is about to get Bowling Shoe Ugly, or be victimized by an Andre Shot.

Faction - When a group of wrestlers share political beliefs and take action to enforce them. See Hitler, the Nazis, and World War II.

False Comeback - A wrestler that retorts to his opponent, but what he said has no actual logical weight. Former T&A XXX-Division Champion Pee-Wee Herman is infamous for this with his Catchphrase "I know you are, but what am I?" mantra that he used to torment his former rival, the Million Dollar Champion Francis Buxton.

False Finish - Not "Finis" in Ancient Latin. This is a common mistake made by new wrestling fans.

Fan Cam - The illegal recording of a show that makes you a dirty criminal. These are typically filled with Andre Shots however.

Fan Favorite - The most popular wrestler to appear on a Fan Cam. The more Andre Shots, the more popular.

The Federation - Slang for the FBI when there are too many Draws on a single Card which leads to excessive Cheap Shots and Burials and then Policemen.

Feeding - When a wrestler eats before a match. They do a lot of this if they are expecting to be Buried.

Feud - A multi-generational dispute between wrestlers and their families. These get pretty intense, and they can have a lot of ugly Double-Juicing and False Comebacks.

Fighting Spirit - What exits a wrestler's body upon defeat.

Finish - The end of a match, often completely unexpected.

Finisher - A maneuver that prompts a Finish. See Randy Orton for one of the deadliest Finishers in the business.

Five Moves of Doom - The pointed finger, the waving finger, the overhead punch brother, the irish whip dude, and the leg drop brother. See Hulk Hogan's article dude.

Five Star Bump - When a Bump is so Extreme that you can see five visible stars circling the loser's head.

Five Star Match - A match that has five visible stars circling the ring at all times, leading to extremely entertaining Backyard Wrestling matches.

Flair Chop - When a crowd lets out a sarcastic "Wooh!" sound to comment on the wrestler's lack of ingenuity and originality by chopping his opponent.

Flair Flip - When a wrestler Botches a flip.

Flair Flop - A match that is full of Flair Chops and Flair Flips. These are virtually unheard of in Dark Matches.

Flat Back Bump - When two Bumping wrestlers go for a sexy back to back pose, especially if they are to have a Marriage.

Flub Coverup - When the wrestlers take a time out to apologize to the fans for their mistakes during a match.

Fluff - A move that makes your opponent jiggle, as if they are "fluffy."

Following - The conglomerating stalkers of a given wrestler.

Foreign Object - An exotic item from a far off land that is used to bash an opponent's brains in, like an ocarina for example.

Four Star Match - Similar to a Five Star Match, but with only four stars circling the ring. The stars aren't there, but the spirit sure is, and if they work even harder, even a four star match can lead a man to Broadway.

Freebird Rule - A wrestler can Finish a match by challenging an opponent to playing "Freebird" on Guitar HERO II with sudden death rules.

Front Office - The office of the head of a wrestling promotion. This is always surrounded by ominous music, and is strangley found in every arena.

G

G Show - This is better known by as the "Rise of John Cena", which saw him gain the WWE Championship and hold it for Over 9000 days. G Show has come to refer to any wrestling show where the champion is a white rapper.

G Team - The wrestling stable of Godzilla, Andre the Giant, The Great Khali, and 50 Cent, who regularly double juiced their opponents, carried, and were resistant to drawing power. They feuded with John Cena regularly for the WWE Championship in a continuous cycle, but they were always defeated by Cena's wise choice in taking the TM's 5 Knuckle Shuffle, F-U, STFU, and Punch. This feud skyrocketed the night that HHH joined their team, forming the HHH Team.

Gaijin - Pregame tactic commonly associated with originating from ECW legend Rob Van Damn. Typically costs $50 a bag.

Garbage Wrestling - In one of the most innovative matches of all time, Oscar the Grouch and Oscar Madison faced off in the back of a moving trash truck early one morning as it traveled its route. This 1988 battle was legendary with Felix Ungar, Archie Bunker and Fred Sanford interfering on behalf of Oscar Madison, all of TV Land fame, while Big Bird, Animal, and Gonzo, of Muppet fames, interfered to help Oscar the Grouch. After 8 brutal hours Oscar the Grouch took the blade from a thrown away lawn mower and decapitated the false Oscar, ended with a Bonzo Gonzo out the back of the truck. All other participants suffered severe wounds, ranging from broken legs to amputated arms, to quadriplegic status. The tape of the bout is banned in 56 countries, Canada is not one of them.

Gas - Mutual tactic of the Robot wrestlers and Luchadores. The only difference is what they consume.

Gate - Unique twist on the ladder match twice used by Chuck Norris and once by Barney and by Brutus "the Barber" Beefcake. Barney got his head taken off by a Chuck Norris roundhouse off the top of the gate, Brutus "the Barber" got his left arm taken off by Chuck Norris using Brutus "the Barber's" scissors, Chuck Norris actually got his beard cut by "Brutus the Barber." Chuck Norris was not satisfied, nobody dares to face him again.

Geek - One who has no life; typically can name every NWA, AWA, TNA, WCW, ECW, and WWE World Champ without hesitation. Be afraid if he's a Hulkamaniac, he won't be afraid to RUN WILD ON YOU!!

Get the Tights - Original catchphrase of the Dudley Boys. After 5 straight losses DeVon convinced Bubba Ray that they should 3-D their opponents through a table instead of tights.

Gig - Short slang for Gigolos, male prostitutes given free to the World Champ. See also Closet Champion.

Gig mark - Location after the match where the champ and the Gig meat up to get it on.

Gimmick - Originally the name of an Irish-gimp wrestler who always got the living shit beat out of him.

Gimmicked - Being beaten to the point of gimphood

Gimmick Table - Slang for stretcher, since Gimmick always left on one

Gizmo/Gizzmo - Name of the first robot to win the World Heavyweight Championship. He was eventually Gimmicked by The Undertaker in a Bury Alive Match at Judgment Day. Gizmo has never been seen since.

Glorified Jobber - Any jobber who ever got the opportunity to receive an Andre Shot.

Go home - The slogan used by ET in his NWA/WCW days. At one point Vader the wrestler took offense to this and Vader Bombed ET back home.

Go over - Lame slogan used by Scorpion's (of Mortal Kombat fame) manager Goro (also of Kombat fame) right after every time Scorpion delivered his snaring cables.

Goozle - The single handed choke hold a wrestler puts on their own member before a chokeslam.

Go through - Whenever a wrestler actually goes through another opponent. The only three wrestlers known for using this were Chuck Norris, Space Ghost, and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Going Bush - 1. A popular female wrestler fashion in the 70's. 2. Typical response by disenfranchised Liberal wrestlers.

Going Into Business For One's-Self - A particularly disgusting and selfish habit of Dirtsheeters. See Doing Business.

Gongus Wrongus - A typical phrase used by a Gaijin who thinks that they know enough Latin to criticize their opponents' opinions.

Good Hand - A wrestler's hand that is prepped for a Goozle.

Gorilla Position - The champion when enjoying the company of a Gig, unless they are a Closet Champion.

Green - New wrestlers are only allowed to use Green paint, so as to denote their status. Kermit "The Eternal Rookie" The Frog has a Catchphrase that addresses this, "It ain't easy being green."

Gusher - Fruit snack particularly enjoyed by practitioners of the "Gaijin" technique.

H

H Show - When HHH's number of title reigns reached Over 9000 the Monday Night Raw began to be referred to as the H Show because HHH literally wrestled in every match of the night, culminating in the three-hour PPV No Mercy in which he finally lost the title to Randy Orton.

HHH Team - When HHH joined the G Team he quickly became the leader and led the charge to end John Cena's title reign. Their efforts were largely unsuccessful however, until Godzilla accidentally clawed Cena's pecs off, resulting in a year-long injury.

Haas Pop - Tasty Cheap Pop that wrestler Charlie Haas distributes in between matches to try and overcome his incredible poor crowd reaction.

Ham-and-Egger - Finishing move commonly used by Sam I Am during his Japanese death match days of the 1990s. Involves castration of the balls through the use of an iron skillet. Also used as slang for when an Andre Shot goes too far.

Hardcore Wrestling - Innovated by Ron Jeremy and Andre the Giant during their tag-team days. Refers to a style of wrestling that involved fucking your opponent into submission. Believe to be the inspiration for the Buried Alive Match.

Hard Flop - Former finishing move of Andre the Giant that involves a dick slap that knocks the opponent unconscious. Also used more recently by Ric Flair, Ron Jeremy, and Bill Clinton.

Hard Way - Wrestling with a boner throughout the entire match. Chyna was notorious for taking advantage of this with her devastating Low Blow technique. This is the typical wrestling style that leads to Blow Offs and Extended Hope.

Hard Way Juicing - The consummate Finisher to a Blow Off, in which the attacker jizzes in the opponent's mouth after painting them silly to the point of a Crimson Mask. He also may legally Goozle himself for the win. These are never, under any circumstances, Clean Finishes and they always require Cleaning the House.

Heat - Relatively high temperatures, the way that either Mother Nature or the Thermostat intended it to be.

Head Drop - When a submission hold is so strong that the opponent's head pops off, and it becomes a hilarious game of "Hot Potato". Great for the kids.

Heat Vacuum - A phrase associated with a large vortex in the time-space continuum on the ceiling of the arena that sucks all of the heat from the arena. T&A's Abyss makes ample use of this with his Black Hole Slam, in which he slams his opponent into the vortex.

Heavy - A condition in which a wrestler is not as light as their opponents.

Heel - A wrestler who prefers to wrestle while standing on their hands, in a sort of Capoeira gone retarded kind of way.

Highspot - A series of maneuvers that makes the wrestler appear to be high after Gaijin. Rob Van Dam is one of the foremost users of such moves.

Hood - A wrestler that wears a hoodie to the ring and gets heavily painted in humilitation.

Hooker - The female equivalent to a Gig.

Hoss - The name of a particularly popular wrestler who used his large size and Brocked frequently, resulting in very few matches where he actually wrestled. He was tag-team partners with Gizmo for a short stint, but dove into the grave to save him, and was also buried because he lacked the brains to get back out.

Hot Shot - One of the most devastating finishers used by the man-mountain Kilauea, in which he Goozled and Blew Off all over his opponent with liquid-hot lava.

The Hulk Hogan Pop

Hot Tag - When the Human Torch made special appearances, he would tag in his partner, who would scream in pain from the burns.

House Show - Backyard Wrestling in the projects, where they don't have playgrounds. Houses would typically be packed full with up to 80,000 people in attendance, forcing the actual tenants out of their homes, out of their windows, and only about 20 people being able to see the match from the same floor.

Hulk Hogan Pop - An dessert treat consisting of shortbread and ice cream on a stick which was developed by Hulk Hogan to increase his standing with the fans and to counter his opponent's heat.

Hulking Up - See Hulk Hogan, brother.

Hung Up to Dry - When a wrestler, typically male, lands onto the rope with their groin.

I

iShow - Any wrestling promotion that is sponsored by Apple, such as Ring of Honor.

iTeam - A wrestling team consisting of Data, Steve Ballmer , Neo, and Hal 9000 and managed by Steve Jobs. They were downloaded into the ring via Wi-Fi technology and regularly defeated by Tag Team Champions Tom Morello and Dr Claw (Despite being faceless and only his glove is shown).

Indy - Considered one of the most brilliant promotional ideas in sports entertainment industry, refers to the match between "Ravishing" Rick Rude and Terry Funk. The match was to take place on a wrestling ring being supported by 8 IRL cars going at top speed at the Indianapolis Speedway. The match ended when Rick Rude drop kicked Funk out of the ring and onto the pavement at 200mph. As a result Terry Funk not only suffered severe physical injuries but also a blow to the head which resulted in him refusing to quit wrestling even though he is a complete embarrassment now.

International Object - Originally a reference to Andre's package during an Andre Shot, is now commonly referred to whenever a foreign wrestler gives a variation of the Andre Shot. Currently Edge is the most frequented shower of his International Object, however, the regularity with which he displays it pales in comparison to Andre's unprecedented pace.

International Spot - Result of when an International Object get stimulated too much.

Internet Wrestling Community (or IWC) - Online town in which wrestlers train constantly and wrestling fans ogle at the site of their favorite wrestler.

J

Jay Show - After the WWE's General Manager Johnny Carson left the show, he selected Jay Leno to be his successor, who would prove to be inferior during his tenure, but many marks claim that he was undercut by the fact that he began long after the Attitude Era, thusly appearing inferior due to lower drawing power.

J Team - At one point, Raw's top face Superman and Smackdown's top tweener Batman joined forces with the top Diva Wonder Woman to dominate the Tag Team title picture. They later inducted The Flash and used the Freebird Rule. Later members included Green Lantern, Aquaman, and a brief, unsuccessful run with [Blue Beetle]] who was kicked out for winning the World Heavyweight Championship before Batman. The J Team disbanded in light of the Infinite Crisis which led them to vacate the belts.

Job - One of the many finishers used by Andre the Giant during his heyday, consisted of grabbing the nuts of the opponent and beating them into the ring post until there's nothing left. Previous victims include Sid Vicious and Yokozuna.

Jobber - Any wrestler who has been on the receiving end of a Job, the Job does not necessarily have to be from Andre.

Jobber to the Stars - Any wrestler who has received a Job from a main event wrestler, particularly the World Champ or Andre the Giant.

Joshi - Japanese Gig who services the Champ.

Juice - Favorite drink of Superfly Jimmy Snuka, Andre the Giant, and the Brooklyn Brawler. Despised by Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Sandman.

Juicing - Used by Godzilla and Andre the Giant, involves squeezing the bodily juices from one opponent, drinking them, then pissing them onto another opponent. Was devastatingly effective during Godzilla and Andre the Giant's run as World Tag Team Champs.

K

K Show - After Jay Leno was booted off, Cosmo "K-Man" Kramer won a battle royal for General Manager. Ratings fluctuated, but he was eventually dethroned after a few decidedly racist remarks. A K Show is any professional wrestling show in which there are excessive racial themes and epithets uttered throughout the program.

K Team - After Kramer's racist remarks and subsequent upheaval, he turned heel and formed a stable of ghosts that burned crosses all over the country, particularly in Faarooq and then champion Samuel L. Jackson's front lawns. He attempted a failed face turn on national television with former General Manager Jay Leno, who was still bitter about having been booted off the show, and whose best friend Kevin Eubanks wasn't a fan of Kramer leading to a particularly painted display when he drew and shot Kramer, ending the angle.

Kayfabe - The codeword for the subverting effort by a conspiring cabal of wrestlers who try to convince the world that professional wrestling is not real, and is in fact choreographed. This is universally panned by critics as silly, as is clear from observing footage from the 1980's.

Kick Out - Sometimes, a baby manages to kick out of an Abortion and out of the womb and stomach, spilling innards and bodily fluids everywhere. See the film Dead Alive for a perfect example of this.

Kill - Sometimes, the Emperor himself will attend to a wrestling event, and if he points his thumb downward, the winning wrestler is authorized to kill their opponent.

Kill [the/a] Town - When the Emperor gives a wrestler authorization to Kill an entire town of people. Godzilla has received this command on many occasions.

L

L Show - During the days of the L Team, WWE was no longer showing on American television, so they had to opt for Hispanic markets like Univision and Telemundo, where they enjoyed cult success.

L Team - A group of lesbians that attempted to restart the Attitude Era but ultimately failed when they chickened out during a marriage angle.

Lead Ass - A Backyard Wrestler that is the lead in a play, but comes off as an ass. This term is often used in editorials.

Legit - When a wrestler refuses to quit, as first coined by M.C. Hammer.

Legit Heat - When the Heat in the arena is in fact from the outside, and is not Canned Heat.

Light - Any match that features strictly pastel paints.

Lita - One of the few women that knew how to wrestle and likes to leave her thong exposed

Lita's Feet - The Holy Grail to Snitsky

Loose - A female wrestler that has had too many conjugal visits with other wrestlers.

Locker Room Sell-Out - The complete opposite of a wannabe in a professional wrestling context.

Lucha Libre - Mexican professional wrestling. Translates to Run To America, Be Free!. This style is characterized by wrestlers leaving the ring and crossing the border.

Luchador - A Mexican wrestler; Illegal Aliens is the proper plural form.

Lucha Rat - A fan that would rather run south of the border than get a goddamn beer from the fridge for me.

Lunch Wagon - A derogatory term for a Luchador that has to wrestle shortly after having a lunch full of beans. Gas is guaranteed to ensue in such matches.

M

M Show - The top face of the company at the time of the L Showwas Emma Peel whose dominance earned the show the aforementioned nickname.

M Team - Future General Manager Jimmy Kimmel and veteran grappler Adam Corolla were both drafted to the L Show where they changed things around with their irreverent backstage segments and their complete domination of the Tag Team belts, losing only one feud to a best of three series in an interpromotional match with Tron.

Main Eventer - Sometimes a wrestler will complain about various things and claim that they are a "Main Eventer." Yeah, right, Cena, now get me that beer.

Manager - A wrestler that manages to finish a match with absolutely no paint or Arm Color.

Mania Era - The period of wrestling where only clinical maniacs actually wrestled. This gave way the more level-headed Attitude Era.

Mark - A wrestling fan that is trying to stop Kayfabe.

Marking Out - A moment of joining the efforts of the Marks.

Marriage - When two wrestlers actually marry each other. The typical ceremony consists of the male drugging his mate and dragging her to a drive-through wedding chapel. See Triple H for one of the most famous marriages ever.

Máscara - A cross-dressing Mexican masked wrestler (from the Spanish for mask)

Meat Squad - Nickname given to the stable of degenerates back in the early 1980s; composed of Oscar Wilde, Jesus the Christ, the Trix Rabbit, and Harvey Birdman. The group only lasted 4 months, however, after Jesus the Christ DDT-ed the Trix Rabbit for trying to eat Trix cereal. While Harvey Birdman opposed such actions Oscar Wilde simply shrugged his shoulders and said, "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids."

Mercy Kill - When Andre the Giant finishes a match without any paint or Andre Shots.

Mic Work - As part of rookie hazing newbies are required to carry around and clean a mic so as to be able to pleasure the Champ, especially if he's a Clost Champ.

Midcarder - A wrestler who just isn't tall enough to be the Champ; Rey Mysterio Jr., Eddie Guerro, and Lucky the Leprachaun are the only Midcarders to ever become the Champ.

Missed Spot - When an Andre Shot goes awry.

Money Mark - End result of a Val Venis or Oscar Wilde match.

Money Match - Innovative 1988 match between the 6 Million Dollar Man and the Million Dollar Man Ted DeBiase in which the match took place inside a safe full of $100 bills. Ended when the 6 Million Dollar Man got 6 million dollars placed somewhere that money shouldn't go.

Money Promo - Promo that involves showering the fans in pennies until they suffocate, last attempted in 2000 by WCW in retaliation to dropping fan interest.

Monster heel - Refers to the heel of any massive wrestler, such heels are possessed by Andre the Giant, Optimus Prime, Oscar Wilde, and Godzilla.

Moondogs - Wrestling werewolves. Very exciting, but only perform 3 days a month.

MOTY - Multiple Orgasm Tag-team Yodle

MotYC - Multiple Orgasm Tag-team Yodle Contest

Mouthpiece - Protective gear used to thwart the full effect of an Andre Shot, legal in most wrestling promotions.

Muta scale - A scale (from ?(low end) to !(! end)) to measure the amount of paint on a wrestler by the end of the match. Based off a classic 1987 encounter between Andre the Giant and Oscar Wilde in which Andre the Giant tossed an entire 50-gallon drum of paint on Oscar Wilde, considered the most painted match in wrestling history.

N

N Show - Vince McMahon made a new television deal that returned the WWE to America, but they had to cut down on lesbians. Vince McMahon, in his disappointment, had a stroke of genius: since ratings rose during the days of the K Team, then why not try the opposite? The Undertaker resurrected Kramer to return to the show as Zombie Kramer, who feuded with the N Team.

N Team - Samuel L. Jackson, Shaquille O'Neal, and Intercontinental Champion Wesley Snipes led a group of men to oppose General Manager Zombie Kramer to increased ratings as week after week they would draw and shoot Zombie Kramer at every N Show.

Near Fall - Late September, when WWE starts promoting the hell out of Survivor Series.

No-sell - When a Gig can't satisfy a Closet Champion and the Champion refuses to fake it.

No Show - When Andre the Giant fakes an Andre Shot, which usually involved Potatoes.

No Team - A group of people who have no interest in forwarding each other's goals but are inexplicable placed together.

O

Tha O Show[1] - Weekly podcast with Big Daddy Donnie and your bro Dan-e-o. Essential listening for learning how to use professional wrestling slang in common conversation.

O Team - MTV made a reality show that handpicked a stable of metrosexuals to push, but the only success was Randy Orton.

Outlaw Promotion - When a booker becomes a "made man".

Over - When a match has reached it's end it is considered over.

Over-book - When a booker miscalculates the odds and loses the mafia's money. Overbooking is usually followed by a cheap shot from an enforcer.

Over-sell - The practice of selling tickets to an event that ended yesterday.

P

P Show - When the P Team came on board, the ratings plummeted when David Arquette was put over World Heavyweight Champion Arnold Palmer. After this point WCW killed every town in its path, ironically reducing its drawing power.

P Team - During the Monday Night Wars, WCW brought in many celebrities, eventually forming a stable of musicians including Paul McCartney, Peter Frampton, John Paul Jones, Phil Collins, and future World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette.

Paper - A protective surface layered over the ring if excessive painting is expected.

Parts Unknown - 1. A special bin brought out for unidentifiable organs and tissues found spread around the ring after an especially intense hardcore match. 2. The theoretical location of a society consisting completely of jobbers with bizarre gimmicks and an unusually high number of masks and body stockings.

Paying Dues - A monthly rite for all union wrestlers.

Phantom Bump - A bump assisted by the restless spirits of the undead. Invented by Papa Shango.

Plant - A special division of wrestling that derives from the Amazon and African jungle promotions that involves intense plant-on-plant action with natural paint and juices. Such matches tend to take several days. Famous champions from the past include the Lorax, The Larch, and Swamp Thing. A Plant is any wrestler in other promotions that mimics the extremely technical style of a plant contender.

Play-by-play - 1. The general career path of a Backyard Wrestler. 2. A more insidious version of Pay-per-view where the viewer must pay a fee after every exchange of blows or grapples.

Policeman - Sometimes the only way to capture a criminal is by going undercover as a professional wrestler. Such plans often lead to cheap shots and burials but there are inevitably a few marks in the crowd to shout that it was fake.

Politician - Any wrestler that was voted in by text messaging.

Pop - Preferred drink of most wrestlers, usually ordered at bars after a show. Some wrestlers, such as Scott Hall indulge a little too much and are well known for the fermented sugars that rested in their systems, giving people the impression that they are in fact drunk.

Popcorn Match - In a famous match that is commonly mimicked to this day, Orville Redenbacher challenged the Aztec Corn God to a match which gathered so much heat that when Redenbacher used his signature move the Redenbachbreaker the Aztec Corn God exploded, showering the arena with a tasty, low-fat snack. This prompted the former power wrestler to start his own business of murdering corn plants in top promotions using canned heat for Vince McMahon, earning him the nickname "The Popcorn Legend."

Post - During some burials, the deceased are instead posted on the bulletin board as a reminder for the next board meeting.

Potato - A faked Andre Shot. This is termed after Andre the Giant was interviewed after "the Rumble in the Antarctic" match he had with The Penguin. Because he knew that he could never pull off a proper Andre Shot, he stuffed a few potatoes down his trunks to fool the fans, but when "Mean" Gene "accidentally" tripped and grabbed onto Andre's package to break the fall, one whole sack's worth of potatoes fell out, tragically crushing "Mean" Gene to death. This is sometimes mistakenly sited as a "Burial" as well.

Promo - When a wrestler farts, hence the common term "Cutting a promo."

Promotion - Some wrestlers earn their way to the top instead of being voted in as a politician. Such wrestlers tend to garner more respect from the fans, as witnessed at the Wrestlemania 22 main event between HHH and John Cena.

Pull Apart Brawl - A passionate match that is often the first sign that their will be a marriage soon.

Puroresu - Because of the sheer awesomeness of Andre the Giant, many people in the business prefer to pronounce it as he would, if for no other reason than because Andre has Jack Bauer's phone number, if he has time.

Put Over - In one of the most bizarre matches from the 90's, Kerwin White and Happy Gilmore had a golf match that ended with Gilmore having to put over the Titantron from a legitimate fifteen feet above the hole. The term now means any miraculous victory involving the Titantron, particularly if the match does not actually involve real wrestling.

Psychology - Any wrestler whose maternal issues get in their way to victory. This was coined by Sigmund Freud, who after a match discovered that his opponent could not concentrate on breaking out of his sleeper hold because of his issues with his mother. Typical usage of this term might go, "Shelton Benjamin has some serious psychology on his side, unlike his opponent who has some serious issues."

Push - See Chris Benoit for the origin of this term. It now refers to any wrestler who is pressured by others to do some rather silly things.

Q

Q Show - A show that is so terrible that everyone is lining up to get out. TNA have established a unique take on this, where entry to their shows is free, but to leave you have to pay $30. This is possibly the only way they can pay Hulk Hogan every week.

R

R Show - Popular yet irreverent mid-carder Captain Jack Sparrow saw a meteoric rise when he began a feud with former manager Geoffrey Rush which led to an entire year of pirate-related feuds. Most of the stories were hopelessly complex and contrived, but they had a "heat of the moment" charm to them.

R Team - This was a Babyface stable consisting of children no older than 10 years old. The stable was so large that it pervaded over all three WWE brands and even trickled into ROH. Most of their storylines were considered "stupid."

Rasslin' - The appropriate pronunciation of "professional wrestling." This is a common mistake that Deep Southerners will be obligingly correct you about.

Red means Green - A common joke played on rookies in any match expecting paint to be used. The best part is if the rookie gets fired afterwards.

Ref Bump - Some referees feel compelled to join in on Andre Shots.

Repackage - In the event that dropping the strap turns out to be a bad idea, the wrestler can always take it back by putting it back on. This often involves an embarrassing reapplication of potatoes.

Rest Hold - See Randy Orton.

Rib - The main course for a wrestler's dinner if they are ordered to kill a town.

Ribber - If a particular town yields a great dinner.

Ring Rat - Some moondogs from Mexico and New York are actually large sewer rats. The key sign of this is when they wrestle during a new moon.

Roid Rage - See Chris Benoit.

Roids - See Batista, Barry Bonds... or Chris Benoit.

S

S Show - Short for "Shit Show." The first S Show involved a botched Andre Shot involving veteran dirtsheeter Sid Vicious botching his spot by shitting all over his opponent when the lights were turned off by heel manager Alice Cooper, resulting in a Dark Match. General Manager Frank Zappa ran out to perform his spot (eating enough chocolate to get a sugar high and then sex up another worker) but by the time he realized what was going on, Alice Cooper turned the lights back on and Zappa was left with a shit-eating grin. The ratings skyrocketed from this stunning turn of events, and the format of turning the lights out and getting someone into the ring to eat shit and then turn the lights back on was copied by promotions everywhere.

S Team - The R Team faced identity crises as they grew up and so emerged a team of babyfaces that told them to turn those frowns upside down, but all of that was for nought when Spanky did his heel turn on Alfalfa and destroyed him and Team S Team with a chair shot, starting a controversial feud. Like the rest of the storylines, it was hailed as "stupid."

Sandbag - A particularly popular way of utilizing dead weight.

Save - Unbeknownst to many wrestlers, you can save the game at any time and return to it to try again. John Cena is the most frequent user of this match tactic.

Schmoz - Droz and Mosh's baby, currently in ROH

Screwjob A match that ends in the referee having sex with the victor. See Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels

Sell When somebody sells a finishing move, they exchange a finishing move in exchange for gold ex. Kane sold the Chokeslam to the Hurricane

Shoot - When a wrestler who is carrying exercises his drawing power. A wrestler who regularly engages in this is called a shooter. This style is called shootfighting.

Showing Light - When a female wrestler shows off her boobs.

Smark - A Kellogg's cereal eaten by wrestling fans.

Smart - A sarcastic remark when referring to a wrestler's intelligence.

Sports Entertainment - Vince McMahon's vision that wrestlers could not only wrestle, but also sing, dance, and act. Thusly, Hulk Hogan and John Cena are the pinnacle of Sports Entertainment.

Spot - Reference to a series of moves typically resulting in some bodily fluid being projected onto a wrestler or referee.

Spotfest - a match which consists mainly or entirely of spots, normally with numerous kinds of fluids being transferred during the match. The infamous Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart "screwjob" is considered the pinnacle of spotfests.

Spud' - a match with a lot of "potatoes". Andre vs. Hogan at Wrestlemania 3 is considered the greatest "spud" of all time.

Squash - an extremely one-sided "spotfest" that ends quickly and violently. Andre is considered one the most prominent proponent of the "squash". His career 34,458 "squashes" are third on the all-time list, second only to Ron Jeremy and Oscar Wilde.

Stable - is a group of wrestlers within a promotion that enjoy having orgies with each other. The nWo, Corporation, Four Horsemen, and Rated RKO are some of the most well known stables.

Stiff - when a wrestler puts force into his Andre Shot on his opponent, deliberately or accidentally. Also mistakingly used in reference to every Randy Orton vs. John Cena match preceding the inevitable "screw job" at the end.

Stooge - reference to the super stable back in the AWA consisting of Moe, Larry, and Curly. While later incarnations of the group involved replacing Curly with Shemp, the group would never be as popular with the fans.

Strap - another name for the favorite tool of the "closet champion".

Stretch - commonly used maneuver by John Cena and Scott Hall to set up their finishers. Typically involves using a "strap".

Strong Style - occasionally referred to as "rough style" as well. Style of fighting that involved a lot of "shots".

Superhuman comeback - reference to when a wrestler is near death and somehow through supernatural abilities is able to come back and win the match. Common tactic of Hulk Hogan, Goku, and Popeye.

Superstar - finishing move first pioneered the Super Mario Brothers that involves grabbing a magic star, becoming invincible, and then beating the living bejesus out of the opponent. Superman, Starman, and Al Snow have been known to use this move as well.

Swerve a sudden change in the direction of a storyline to surprise the fans. Usually, but not always, it involves one wrestler coming out of the closet. The most noted "swerve" is considered to be when Randy Orton came out of the closet and on HHH, resulting in his expulsion from the stable Evolution.

T

T Show - When the WWE re-signed Mr. T to a new contract, ratings went through the roof as he took over the show. Unfortunately his age began to show and people realized that this would not be a show.

Tag team a wrestling duo (although at times more than just two), typically romantically entangled, which wrestles as a team against other tag teams. These matches are notoriously messy and involve several dual shots. The most notably tag teams in history were the Legion of Doom, Harlem Heat, Godzilla and King Kong, and arguably the greatest duo of all time, Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Tap Out submitting to an opponent, typically when the wrestler sees his opponent preparing for a spot.

Three-count perfected by Jessie Ventura, this is a maneuver when a wrestler is able to perform a spot for three or more seconds. Only known wrestlers to have ever pulled this off are Jessie Ventura, Andre the Giant, Ultimate Warrior, and HHH.

Titantron or simply Tron name given to one of the most dominant teams in professional wrestling history. The due consisted of Megatron and Optimus Prime, which formed when Prime turned heel back in 1988 and lasted until Megatron turned on Prime for losing the Galactic Tag Team Championship in 1992 to Godzilla and Jet Jaguar. The Titantron team had four tag team reigns during the five years they lasted, winning the Galactic, World, American, and Southern Florida Tag Team Championships.

Tope move involving taking the current Pope and throwing him from the ring over the top rope onto the opponent(s) on the floor outside the ring. While the move was first used by Teddy Roosevelt in 1908, Richard Nixon has been most associated with the maneuver. Also much easier with the wrestler called "The Pope".

Transitional champion a holder of a traditionally long title reign which bridges two "blips," short title reigns by closet champions.

Turn when a wrestler performs a swerve and gives the common courtesy of a reach around.

Tweener a sexcually ambiguous wrestler, neither straight or gay, albeit totally bi.

Two-and-a-half count when a wrestler can perform a spot for only two and a half seconds. Due to the difficulty of the three count the two and a half count is considerably more prevalent.

U

U Show - When a wrestling company totally gives up and asks the fans to come in and wrestle. Both WWE and TNA did this at least once, WWE did notably after Mr T died in the ring.

U-Team - The fans who came into the ring to wrestle, who held every championship in pro wrestling within a month.

Undercard - Matches prior to the main event. Something more, something less. (See also Card).

Unification when two wrestlers are turned off the idea of fighting,merge into one person and become a giant hippy.

Upset - Most umarried wrestlers feel this way before gimmicking each other into wearing crimson masks.

V

Valet a female who parks cars for wrestlers and turns up to the arena to sell eye candy to fans at the concession stands.When a woman is not available,the role may be played by an alligator.

Vignette is a very small yard where alcoholic wrestlers prepare wine.

Vocal sell when a wrestler agrees to sell his finisher to a fellow wrestler,via a spoken contract.The most famous example is when Petey Williams vocally sold the Canadian Destroyer to Trevor Murdoch.However,this turned out to be a screwjob,as Williams secretly only sold half the move,and Murdoch was unable to execute the move properly.This began a major feud in the WWCEWEF

W

Work (noun) - A wrestler's occupation when they are not fighting others in the squared circle. Famous workers include, but are not limited to, T.L. Hopper, a plumber, Isaac Yankem, D.D.S., a dentist, and Umaga, a Samoan savage.

Worked Shoot - Sometimes a wrestler is shot because it was his opponent's work to do so. Bret "the Hitman" Hart is one of the more famous worked shooters in the business.

Workrate - The ratio between a wrestler's duties to his promotion and his own work. Critics mention this in the context of non-career wrestlers such as the Repo Man, who had a tremendous workrate outside of wrestling.

Wrestler's Court - Back in the old days of wrestling they governed themselves with spontaneous legislation and jury trials, but by the time of the J Show it became evident that more and more wrestlers were killing towns and so famous worker and former Intercontinental Champion Judge Dredd became the first wrestler to shoot another wrestler based on their crimes against the business. Later Wrestler's Court members included The Punisher, Charles Bronson, and Clint Eastwood. The oath of inauguration, as set forth by Judge Dredd is, "I am the law."

X

eX-Show - See WCW