UnScripts:Interview with a Wikipedia administrator

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Host: And now, we present contestant number 3!

Audience: [applause]

Host: [to bachelor] So, what questions do you have for our lovely contestant?

Bachelor: What is your favorite kind of food?

Contestant 3: Well, I don't really think about food much. I don't have time.

Bachelor: What are some of your hobbies?

Contestant 3: I used to edit Wikipedia articles, but these days I mostly spend my time blocking users and rolling back vandalism. This morning I reverted nonsense in an article about doors and blocked the IP who did it for 24 hours since they'd already been given a level 4 warning. I think it was you. Did you do it?

Audience: [noises of puzzlement]

Bachelor: Where would you go on vacation?

Contestant 3: Leaving aside the fact that I can't afford to travel, since I got fired from my last job for goofing off...I probably wouldn't go anywhere. I'm totally paranoid, you know? Even a day not watching for vandalism or content disputes makes me go nuts. All sorts of things could have happened when I wasn't there!

Contestant 2: Sounds like you need a vacation, mate. Spend some time relaxing on the beach, looking at birds –

Contestant 1: I love birds! They're so shiny!

Contestant 2: Not that kind of bird, you ignorant American!

Host: Now then. [to bachelor] Which of these lovely ladies would you like to spend the rest of your life with?

Bachelor: [thinks for a few minutes] Let's see...I'd pick contestant 3.

Contestant 2: Are you sure she wouldn't indef you?

Contestant 3: I wouldn't do that as long as he edits from an IP. However, if he creates an account, and especially if he behaves as atrociously as he did prior to his block, I would definitely consider it. I would not make the block, of course, because I would be involved.

Contestant 1: Will you look at this text I just got! Kaitlyn failed her history test! I thought sure Uncyclopedia was a good place to find...wait, what was I – oh yeah, I love birds. Do you –

Host: And that's it for today. Have a great week, everyone, and don't forget to watch our next episode!

[commercials]