Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June 18

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Mmmmmmmmmm!

June 18: International Delicious Beverage Day

  • 4500 BCE – Sumerians invent beer; burping becomes popular throughout the known world.
  • 4486 BCE – First sighting of pink elephants, well before standard elephants were known in most places.
  • 1264 – The Parliament of Ireland meets for the first time at Castledermot in County Kildare. While in session, the parliament discusses beer rationing, leprechaun sightings, and whiskey rationing, and also hires St. Patrick to address the rampant snake problem.
  • 1759 – Guinness opens its first brewery. Testers consume the entire output for the first year before being fired.
  • 1812War of 1812: The US Congress declares war on the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. The British respond by taxing the US tea supply to ridiculous proportions, and ceasing the exporting of cricket and croquet materials to North America.
  • 1887 – The Reinsurance Treaty between Germany and Russia is signed, ending all conflicts between the two nations permanently. [citation needed]
  • 1917 – The first carbonated drink is put on the market. People are unaware of the dangers in Cocaine Cola.
  • 1920 – Charles Grigg begins selling 7-Up, a carbonated drink containing lithium citrate. IT'SUPPOSEDTOBEAMOODSTABI LIZERFORBIPOLARS! I'M TALkINg TOyoU!! HEY!!liSTEN UP!! wHADDAYAmEAN IT'SnoT an iNGREDIEnT anYMoRE??
  • 1928 – Aviator Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly in an aircraft across the Atlantic Ocean (she was a passenger; Wilmer Stutz was the pilot and Lou Gordon the mechanic). She also becomes the first woman to nag a pilot in midflight across the Atlantic Ocean.
  • 1978 – Jonestown Massacre occurs with many drinking poisoned Kool Aid to commit suicide. Poisoned Grape flavor becomes a big seller.
  • 1983Space Shuttle program: STS-7, Astronaut Sally Ride becomes the first American woman in space. She also becomes the first American woman to nag a fellow astronaut in space.
  • 2007St. Peter's Basilica is most likely to awaken from its two-year slumber on this day, according to Vatican-sponsored astrological studies. False Popes are currently being prepared to divert its attention and appetite in anticipation of events on the day.
  • 2009 - International Delicious Beverage Day cancelled due to European Bovril famine.