Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 19

March 19: Oh my god... I'm like... so freaking high right now... Kitten Huffing Day (traditional)

• 1000000 BCE -The first kitten is discovered by Egyptians. They try eating the kitten to get high but discover that you must sniff the critter.
• 1300 - Chinese explorer Hu Flhung Dhung brings back kittens to which the Chinese become instantly addicted.
• 1301 - Exactly one year later, the Chinese invent a more refined way of getting kitten into your system, now known by the street name "heroin". It is really kitten in pure form.
• 1462 - Holy Roman Emperor Yugo Hugo IV dies because he finds someone else's shoe wedged next to his toilet.
• 1915 - U.S. President Woodrow Wilson becomes the first American to get high on kittens.
• 1915 - Pluto is photographed for the first time, discovering the first extra-terrestrial colony of humans huffing kittens.
• 1942 - The U.S. implements wartime rationing of kittens and all cats under two years old.
• 1969 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten.
• 1972 - After huffing several hallucinogenic tigers, India and Bangladesh sign a friendship treaty.
• 1978 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten.
• 1981 - Paint and Chihuahua huffing causes fatalities as kittens are in short supply.
• 2003 - Saddam Hussein is forced to huff goats due to the impending U.S. invasion.
• 2007 - Keith Richards snorts his dad, wins "Reformed Huffer of the Year" award from PETA.