Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 27
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- 75 million BCE - Many happy species of dinosaurs graze on pot plants and would be found painting flowers on their faces and flashing peace signs at each other.
- 2 million BCE - Early human ancestors discover pot and also how to roll giant spliffs.
- 7,000 BCE - Adam and Eve are kicked out of the Garden of Eden by God for smoking pot.
- 355 BCE - The god Mercury becomes a part-time dealer but smokes everything himself and has to go on the run when he fails to pay his supplier Nepenthe.
- 14 CE - Jesus smokes his first joint and begins his criminal career.
- 1690 - Pot smokers are first burned in Salem, Massachusetts. The dealers that burn them get away scot-free.
- 1692 - Dope dealers are first burned at the stake in Salem with the weed they are caught with. Cheapskates move downwind from Salem.
- 1812 - The Second Great Marijuana Civil War takes place between England and the United States. English troops burn the White House and stand downwind to no effect.
- 1937 - The first DeadHead is born. Much later he would try to light up during an outdoor Grateful Dead concert and set himself afire, creating the Burning Man Festival.
- 1980 - Mount St. Helens explodes when Kilauea hogs the joint.
- 1985, 88, 89 - A duo of pot heads discover time travel and mess up the time stream.
- 2001 - The Twin Towers are turned into the largest joints on Earth.
- 2012 - Scientists find the speed of light through pure cannabis is 3 mph (5 kph), which explains a lot.