Unicyclopedia

“I used to spend hours each day editing Unicyclopedia. Now I have a life.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Unicyclopedia

“In Soviet Russia, Unicylopedia rides YOU!”

~ Russian reversal on Unicyclopedia

Unicyclopedia is more of a concept than a tangible object. As such, it is difficult to reduce it to words. As a once said, "One man's Unicyclopedia is another man's anal sex." Scientific debates rage over the question whether the Unicyclopedia is properly categorized as a vehicle or a reference source. For reasons that cannot be revealed here, they are all completely wrong.

Mesopotamia

I'll meet you by the third pyramid

Aside from its status as a moderate college radio hit for the B-52's, Mesopotamia is generally considered the birthplace of the Unicyclopedia, where its enormous wooden wheel, heavy with thousands of books, was used as a form of siege engine against an ancient, and dormant, race of space nazis.

What Could

What could go here is not what is here, this is supposed to go here.

Ancient Greece

Greece is the word

In ancient Greece, the Unicyclopedia was often depicted as a hideous hybrid of various species, not unlike Bat boy. For some reason, the Greeks always depicted the Unicyclopedia as having a prominent anus. Plato reportedly had a Unicyclopedia, and Aristotle allegedly had two.

Perineum

The perineum is the area between the anus and the scrotum (for boys) or the vagina (for girls). It has nothing to do with the Unicyclopedia. I just like talking about it. I believe the plural would be perinea. Scientists have recently speculated that This Guy has at least one perineum, if not several perinea.

The Unicyclopedia in Urban Legends

• It is widely believed that every time you masturbate, god asplodes a Unicyclopedia. This is actually bullshit.

• Some people think Unicyclopedias are those old-fashioned bicycles with the ginormous wheels, like in The Prisoner. These people are fucktards.

• The major cause of this country's downfall is a lack of cats in hats, waitresses who give you exploding desserts, and Unicyclopedias.

• If you are driving and another car flashes its bright lights at you, do not flash them back. This is a method used by gangs of Unicyclopedia editors to select victims for their next random act of deletionism.

• If you send this to 99 people, the mailman will bring you $1,000,000.00 tomorrow. If you do not, you will get a visit from Satan.

Test Your Reading Comprehension!

Unicyclopedia is:

(a) half a book about bicycles

(b) half a bike about icicles

(c) Wikipedia with one eye (i.e., Wkipeda)

(d) Jimbo Wales' worst nightmare

(e) A collection of Hillary Clinton's ass wrinkles.

(f) My hump my hump my hump, my lovely lady lumps

(g) Failed Slovakian transportation style. (They couldn't think of a way incorporate torture)

(h) The blocked anal cavity of a retarded antelope

(i) One of the last remaining of Genghis Khan's pubes

Choose wisely -- the fate of the free world depends on it!

¡oqɯıɾ ǝɥʇ ʇnoqɐ ןןɐ s,ʇı ¿pǝuɹɐǝן noʎ ʇ,uǝʌɐɥ ˙p :ɹǝʍsuɐ ʇɔǝɹɹoɔ

Question: How can you tell an introvert from an extrovert at the NSA?

Answer: ˙sǝoɥs s,ʎnƃ ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ ʇɐ sʞool ʇɹǝʌoɹʇxǝ ǝɥʇ 'sɹoʇɐʌǝlǝ ǝɥʇ uı

or: 'saoys s.hn6 R3HTO ayt te skool tJa^oJtxa ayt `sJote^ala ayt uI