Portal:Music
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.
By far the most musical portal you will ever find. |
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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.
The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.
Highlighted Article
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| National Treasure John Peel on wonderful Radio Caroline. |
"Wugga, wugga and welcome back the Perfumed Garden Psychedelic Special hastily assembled because Dave Lee Travis appears to have fallen overboard and been harpooned by whalers. In the finest traditions of Pirate Radio I'm wearing an eye-patch and cutlass and you may be able to hear my parrot Syd squawking in the background. But tonight's show is brought to you live from my living room at Peel Towers due to car trouble stopping me getting to the ferry out to good old Radio Caroline. Let's hope the rozzers don't nick me! I say car trouble; I mean of course that the inside smells so badly of fish that it's impossible to spend more than a minute inside without gagging - a bit like attending a Peter, Paul and Mary gig. Actually, I'm fairly certain that Tony Blackburn has nailed a mackerel somewhere under the dashboard but that's not going to stop me playing the rather excellent "Arnold Layne" by The Pink Floyd....
| Archive | Article credit: Funnybony | (more...) |
Music in the News
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At 11:43 last night, authorities were called to a home in California, where Theodore Seville, the drummer of Alvin and the Chipmunks, was found overdosed on a mixture of cocaine and sherbert. He was treated in hospital and discharged this morning, but his bandmates were furious and immediately fired him. In a statement, Simon said that "We have always been proud of having no drugs in this band, to the point where we refused to go on tour with The Jonas Brothers. For Theodore to undermine that is disgusting."
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UnNews Audio (file info) |
| Listen to this story! | |
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope. |
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| Archive | Article credit: Zombie gerbil | (more...) |
Featured Image
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Is it really him? (A grue just appeared.)
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Featured Artist
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| Bowie's crooked grimace changes quickly when the Doctor explains that things "won't be working quite the same again" |
David "give it here" Bowie (January 23 1889 - August 12 2016) is the pseudonym of former London second-hand car salesman David "Yeah, course it has an MOT" Jones. His chief claim to fame was his portrayal of a bi-sexual Alien in the early seventies.
He has largely continued an unsuccessful career to the present day though bit parts in mediocre films and jumping on the latest bandwagon in Music....
| Archive | Article credit: Sycamore | (more...) |
Lyric of the Week
“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”
- ~ From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)
Featured UnTunes
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| PLAY>MP3 |
Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap
Featuring the smooth vocal stylings of "DJ" Daryl Dipstick & Doofus.
Daryl: Word!
Doofus (in wimpy nasal): Sure, I got Word. Excel, Powerpoint, the whole office suite. <snort>
Daryl: Would you shut up, homie? I’m trying to throw down some tough rhymes here.
Doofus: Sorry. So, what does Word, mean?
Daryl: I don’t know - it’s just something they say. Now shut up or you’re fired! Uhm, I’ve got to get my groove on, or get in touch with my inner child, or something. Hmmm… wait… I got one!
Yo homies, my rhymes are much better than crack
So pull up a chair and put down that smack
And don’t get in my face cuz my man’s got my back
It’s the Middle Aged Suburban White Guy Rap
Check it out, G. Am I a bad buttocked mother hugger or what? Ha ha ha!
It’s the American dream, the life that I got – 2 kids and a wife, a Beemer, a dog...
| Archive | Musical credit: Tooltroll | (more...) |
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