Richard Spencer
“Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.”
Richard Bertrand Spencer (born May 11, 1978) is an American rapper, identitarian, political commentator, and fashion enthusiast. He is best known as the founder and spokesman of the alt-right, a political movement/rap genre aimed at Internet provocateurs that feel maybe we should be less politically correct.
Early life and education[edit]
Spencer was born in Boston, Massachusetts, the son of cotton-farming WWII fanatics, and grew up working on their plantations in Dallas, Texas and Durham, North Carolina. When he was five, Richard got into a relationship with a little Asian girl named Asuka. They loved each other very much, but unfortunately, he later saw little Asuka sharing crayons with little Tyrone, and was under the impression that she had left him for another. Heartbroken, he developed an ever-lasting suspicion and sense of racial realism against colored people, women, and colored crayons as a result of this experience.
Spencer's artistic inspiration springs from personal tragedy: his parents divorced when he was in third grade and ever since, he was forced to move back and forth between their cotton plantations, both equally hard-driving and back-breaking. He then heard his fellow slaves singing while working on the fields, and was inspired to mimic this style. In high school, Spencer was the lyricist and lead singer for synthpop band The Moonmen, and was a very high-ranking member of the Fashy Fellows hip-hop group; he was also a key contributor to the burgeoning musical genres Fashwave and CYBERN△ZI.
Spencer was a Ph.D. student at Duke University, studying both modern European intellectual history and live-action roleplaying. It was here that he co-founded the Kappa Alterna Riggit fraternity along with his teacher Paul Gottfried, previously known for his paleoconservative work with Pat Buchanan. Spencer later left Duke to, in his own words, "pursue a life of thoughtcrime."
Activities[edit]
Charities[edit]
Spencer is president of the Nationalist Poppin' Izzles (NPI), a wignat record label in Arlington, Virginia. He also hosts AltRight.com, where he is joined by fellow alt-right singers including Brittany Pettibone, Jared Taylor, Lana Lokteff, Walt Bismarck, and Murdoch Murdoch.
Concerts[edit]
Spencer is known for his fantastic concert experiences, best seen at his NPI concert in November 2016. In honor of President-Elect Donald "You Can't Stump the" Trump, Spencer led his followers in a radical new arm-swinging pose while shouting "Hail Trump, hail our people, hail victory!" This was the event that catapulted Spencer into the mainstream, and he made headlines nationwide. The liberal media expected this gesture to bring tremendous discredit to the alt-right movement, but this was offset by the satisfaction Spencer found in his increased amount of followers after the media played his songs and plastered his mug everywhere.
Since then, Spencer has been constantly played and given hundreds of interviews by mass music radio, and has performed at numerous university venues (or at least the ones that haven't banned him). They see him as a soulful performer with a good message for at-risk youth.
White Egyptians[edit]
In 2017, Spencer released his most famous album White Egyptians. The album contained the hit title track, which featured Spencer performing some mean trades with Charles Barkley. In the song, Spencer proclaims that the Egyptians were white and "my ancestors built the pyramids", while Charles Barkley argues that they were black and it was his ancestors who built the pyramids; the debate is then interrupted by Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, who raps about how the Egyptians were neither black nor white, since (veryone knows Ancient Aliens built the pyramids. At the end of the song, the debate leads to the Battle of Cairo, which in turn causes the Egyptians' race to never be spoken of again, under penalty of death.
Whitefish incident[edit]
Spencer's mother Sherry lives in Whitefish, Montana, a small town of 7,000 notable only for the ski resort and a few dozen semi-famous residents. Allegedly, insurance agent Tanya Gersh blackmailed and extorted his mom into selling her concert venue in the area. When Spencer's alt-right fans learned of this, they immediately took action and busta-rhymed Mrs. Gersh into oblivion. Many residents were alarmed over the alt-right interest in their obscure town, being more rock fans than rap; Spencer's fans vowed to organize an IRL "Troll Army" who would march through the town in January 2017 armed with high-powered boomboxes, but this never came to pass.
Punching incident[edit]
During President Donald Trump's January 2017 inauguration concert in Washington, D.C., Spencer was at the concert performing the opening act and basking in the attention, and a crowd began to heckle him all while he was happily giving his important thoughts on camera. Just as he was beginning to talk about his new album, a masked man sucker-punched Richard's face and ran from the scene. Spencer retreated away to fix his prettyboy hair while choking back tears; the punch triggered a memory of college where his friend misread the former's request for a hand. The Masketta was identified as Spencer's pharmacist, and claimed Spence owed him about $14.88 bucks in unpaid medical bills.
Videos of the #PunchANazi incident were uploaded all over the internet, collecting millions of views and spawning memes from tolerant social media liberals. Seeking revenge, alt-right rappers tried to identify Spencer's attacker, despite the fact that the attacker was caught by police earlier that day.
Gym expulsion[edit]
If that punching incident wasn't enough, Spencer found himself banned from the local gym soon after. Apparently you just can't do some things in a public place for random people, especially if you happen to rock the Iron Cross while pumping iron.
Unite the Right[edit]
One of Spencer's most scandalous moments was his Unite the Right concert, where he and his followers marched through Charlottesville, Virginia while rapping Moonman beats to raise awareness of Confederate statue removal. Antifa, Black Lives Matter, and policemen watched footage of the concert at the local bar, decided "I want a piece of that action too", and charged out the door blaring Oi Polloi on their iPhones; you heard the rest on the news. This concert and its violent outbreak lead to a media circus, where stuttering uncharismatic news hosts debated over whether wanting to keep Confederate statues out of museums was a matter of heritage or hate, and whether Spencer's dope beats added to or detracted from his message.
Flash mobs[edit]
After the Unite the Right scandal, Spencer tried to clean up his image with random concerts alongside David "Big Suit" Byrne. His fans would pay respect to Hawaiian culture through the use of tiki torches, and shout fun slogans while Spencer would rap.
Ridin' with Biden[edit]
In 2020, Spencer announced that the alt-right was "over" and he would now be #RidinWithBiden in the 2020 election, seeing that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris supported mass incarceration and were tougher on BLM and Antifa than Trump. Neoliberals welcomed a reformed Spencer to their #Resistance alongside other lovable figures like George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and John Bolton, saying "See, even neocons and Nazis don't like Trump! The enemy of my enemy is my friend."
Political views[edit]
Spencer uses the anti-immigration bits of libertarianism, Internet memes, and his soft-spoken demeanor to gain support for his ideology. He believes that the alt-right, with all its anime porn, Moonman raps, and silly Pepe the Frog memes, is the last implicit stand of white identity. He also believes Pepe may be the reincarnation of ancient Egyptian frog deity Kek, and is using meme magic to advance the alt-right; "[Kek] is basically using the alt-right to unleash chaos and change the world," Spencer says. "You might say, 'Wow, that's stupid, a cartoon frog can't change reality' but really, this is literally how religions arise." The alt-right tends to suffer from multiple-personality disorder, as "basic bitch" conservatives and libertarians like Milo Yiannopoulos have also been labeled or label themselves as "alt-right", despite their political views and raps being relatively softer than Spencer's; this has led to rightists infighting and devouring eachother in the movement, which is something you'd think only the left do.
Spencer compares the differences between whites and blacks to those between golden retrievers and basset hounds. He believes that football should be banned because it encourages white people to admire black people; conversely, he considers white football players like Tom Brady and Bill Belichick to be "Aryan Avatars". Spencer believes that Asian girls "have a kind of thing going on," and went on a quest for an Asian sandwich-maker before settling for his Russian wife Nina. He bashes Asians in his podcasts, but lukewarmly accepts the growing number of hapas who attend his WhiteNat conventions. Oddly, contrary to other hardline conservatives, Spencer believes that homosexuality "seems to be a kind of last stand of implicit White identity."
Spencer is paradoxically both an atheist and a self-described "cultural Christian"; this is similar to how many alt-righters claim to be Christian crusaders against degeneracy, yet enjoy things like hentai on the side that would get them beaten by nuns with rulers.
Personal life[edit]
Spencer splits his time between Whitefish, Montana and Arlington, Virginia, although he considers Whitefish to be his true home where the heart is at. Recently however, Spencer has considered renting a house in Alexandria, because Antifa got his number in Arlington. In his spare time, he enjoys using chopsticks to deftly pluck slivers of togarashi-crusted ahi from his rectangular plate, whilst sitting in his Continental-style lounge listening to neofolk records.
Spencer may or may not be separated from his Georgian–Russian American wife, Nina Kouprianova, with whom he has a daughter. Spencer said he and his wife were not separated and are still together, while Nina says she and her husband are separated and are not still together. Kouprianova is an author and Moscow mouthpiece in her spare time.