Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Rastadon

Mastadon01.jpg

The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer.

The Rastadon was discovered on February 3, 2007, by one Dr. Professor Ima Walrus, who got his Ph.D. in Zoology at Gotham University, as well as Tom Freebird, who had a B.A. in Sociology, and a minor in Taylor Swift, from Michigan Tech. Their historic discovery was found fifty miles north of Rastos, Nebraska. To date, only one skeleton of a Rastadon has ever been found, where it is currently still in active use. After many tests, Dr. Professor Walrus and Mr. Freebird found that the Rastadon's turn-offs included tobacco cigarettes, uniforms, sirens, and corporate life. Whereas its turn-ons included: pistachio ice cream, herbal medicine, large hollow plastic figurines with pipes sticking out of them, and snack foods. (more...)

Previously featured article – The Addams Family

Gomez Addams.jpg

The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Lint lots of it.jpg

May 28: International Celebration of Belly Button Lint

  • A Long Time Ago - Satan was born without a belly button but with lint.
  • 1515 - Marco Polo discovers belly button lint during his travel to China.
  • 1516 - Marco Polo returns to Italy with several tons of belly button lint.
  • 1590 - Doubts arise about the true origins of Marco Polo's belly button lint.
  • 1781 - Hip Hop is forbidden by Pope B.J. IV. The prohibition lasts until 1998; its ending triggers the renaissance of hip hop.
  • 1854 - Pasteur discovers a method to identify belly button lint, but he is murdered by Marco Polo heirs who want to keep their monopoly.
  • 1855 - Angry Pasteur followers march to Italy seeking for revenge, ravaging the city, raving mad.
  • 1953 - Dupont synthesizes belly button lint for the first time; product sales go sky high.
  • 1979 - The first sighting of an extremely rare belly button lint & tumbleweed crossbreed is sighted by an old man in a ghost town. He falls asleep shortly after.
  • 1984 - Belly button lint damages Space Shuttle controls, leaving the ship marooned in space.
  • 2004 - Iraq acknowledges having huge amounts of belly button lint hidden in secret silos.
  • 2005 - China sues Italy for reparations for belly button lint allegedly plundered by "imperialist capitalist pig dogs" in the Middle Ages. Italian courts deny all knowledge of these so-called "Middle Ages."
  • 2005 - Transformers land on Earth, dance to Weird Al Yankovic and introduce the phrase "Bah Weep Graaagnah Wheep Ni Ni Bong" to Americans, and leave later that day to make way for Akira.
  • 2026 - IB Maths students rebel, take over the world and ban the use of numbers in digit form in order to save the lives of future students.
  • 2027 - IB Maths rebels are awarded Nobel Peace Prize for saving the lives of countless IB students.

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