UnNews:Brits make book on King Charles cancer

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9 February 2024

King Charles III: Healthy

LONDON, United Kingdom -- King Charles III is keeping everyone guessing what type of cancer he has got, after news came out that the recently crowned monarch of the English-speaking world (except the USA) is suffering from this disease.

His Majesty went to hospital complaining of frequent visits to the Royal Bog. Doctors diagnosed prostate cancer, but then found additional work for themselves to do. Doctors did not disclose the type of this other cancer, leading House of Windsor fans to make book, including an over/under on months left and a parlay on the treatment options he will elect. It is assumed that star oncologists will be flown in from America. If the very woke monarch should instead opt for the National Health Service, of course, all bets are off.

For fans of Princess Diana, this looks like karma. The old adulterer, who had waited 70 years for his mother to die, is in danger of being king for barely a year and a bit. This would be the shortest reign of any British monarch not executed, killed, murdered or deposed, if one may go out on a limb; though a damned sight longer than Liz Truss got at 10 Downing Street.

British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has excused the king to take the next three months off at the royal private residence of Sandringham in Norfolk. What he is going to do there isn't clear, but it is probably not binge-watching the TV series The Crown.

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