UnNews:UnNewsAudio
UnNews Audio is a division of UnNews that produces audio recordings of individual articles. This achieves two purposes:
- On the assumption that there are millions of people who surf to Uncyclopedia every day, but hate to read or even look at the pictures, this gives them something. (Uncyclopedia users who hate both written and spoken English are, for the time being, still S.O.L.)
- More regular Uncyclopedia fans, who have always wanted to put a face to a username, can now at least put a voice to it, and go, "Coo! didn't know s/he sounded like that!".
- 5 Oct - Uncyclopedia defends inept comedy at Supreme Court • media info • text
- 12 Sep - Britons to shut up on Sunday • media info • text
- 31 Mar - Ketanji gets job offers from NFL • media info • text
- 8 Mar - World to end; analyst says "buy" • media info • text
- 9 Feb - Weezer's Rivers loses his sex, again • media info • text
- 1 Feb - Rivers Cuomo takes on Spotify • media info • text
How to use UnNews Audio[edit]
How to listen[edit]
All UnNews Audio releases are audio in the MP3 format, in files with file type .mp3. There is a list (above and also on the UnNews front page) of the most recent UnNews Audio releases. Clicking on the headline sends the audio file to your computer.
What happens then depends on what your web browser has been instructed to do with .mp3 files. Normally, a program you have selected, such as Media Player, Real Player, or Winamp, will be activated and the news report will automatically start playing on your computer's speakers. However, your web browser might be set instead to store the .mp3 file on the disk and you might have to take additional action to play the audio.
How to get dibs on an article[edit]
So there is an UnNews article you are interested in broadcasting? It is vanishingly unlikely that two Uncyclopedians will want to do the same article. However, a "lock" signal ensures that you have dibs on it.
To assert exclusive rights to broadcast an article, edit it and add the following line at the start: {{RecordingInProgress|YourName}} or {{RIP|YourName}}
Please don't lock an article for more than 4 hours, but complete recording and uploading by then.
How to author[edit]
Create an .mp3 file with your audio in any way that is most convenient for you. Tips:
- Make the name of the MP3 file descriptive. It makes it easier to code citations to it if you will do the following:
- Begin the filename with
UnNews--(with two hyphens!) to indicate, within the File: namespace, that the file pertains to UnNews. - Make the filename identical to the story's headline.
- Begin the filename with
- Music-quality MP3 files aren't necessary for voice, and are larger than necessary. Read Spike's technical notes for tips on what settings to use.
- In some Audios, a different speaker, a different accent, or a different background noise is used for quotations. Otherwise, say "quote" before the quotation, and "unquote" afterward.
- You need not read the UnNews story literally:
- When reading a quotation, you may want to turn the sentence around so that you introduce the speaker before you read the quotation. It's pleasing in written English to break the quotation into two parts, but this doesn't flow well in speech.
- Some paragraphs need not be read at all--especially when they make a comparison or use figures that need to be seen to be understood.
- You may also leave out some material to limit the length of the audio feature.
Then upload the MP3 file with your audio.
How to tell people you've recorded a story[edit]
- In the story
Edit the story again. Delete any lock template you inserted before (see above), and add the following as the first line:
{{UnNewsAudio|YourFileName.mp3}}
This puts a legend in the text file advising readers that an audio version is available.
Preview the article and be sure you see the legend, and that there are no red-links. This ensures that you correctly typed the name of your audio file.
- In {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}
Finally, edit {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}. This template is the list of the most recent audio features, as shown at the top of this page. Following the recommendations at the start of the template, and imitating the format of existing entries, add an entry for your article at the top of the list. You'll be adding a line of the following form:
- exact-name-of-your-audio-file
.mp3|Article headline|UnNews:Name of text version|
Delete one entry at the bottom of the list so it contains the same number of entries as before.
If you change the name of anything, also update the above files.
- Notes for Admins
The template {{InlineMedia}} puts a legend (
listen)
in-line that an audio version is available. You supply the name of the audio file (omitting both File:UnNews-- and .mp3). If the narrator did not name the file in compliance with our conventions, rename the file or read the template's documentation and code accordingly. There will be plenty of time in which to ban the narrator.
- If you edit {{Lead articles}} to advertise the story on the Front Page, add {{InlineMedia}} after the double dash.
- If you edit {{RecentUnNews}} to advertise the headline on the website main page, add {{InlineMedia}} after the headline (but outside the boldface).
How to get someone else to record a story[edit]
UN:AUDIO is a collection of requests for recording, for UnNews articles and other materials. You can write a request there and see if anyone wants to do the recording.
The UnNews Team[edit]
| Editors-in-Chief of UnNews | ||
|---|---|---|
|
Sir Todd Lyons 
|
Creator of UnNewsAudio and Executive Producer in Absentia |
|
Rev. Zim_ulator 
|
Editor Emeritus[1] (2007-2010) |
|
Spike ×3 ×10
|
Served without title (2010-2011) |
|
|
TheHumbucker | Served without title; ceased to serve after asking for title and not getting it[2] |
|
|
Mattsnow | By acclamation and by default |
|
Romartus | 2013, Lord Steward of UnNews |
|
|
Spike | 2013- (Everyone who cares about titles has left) |
Broadcast Staff[edit]
Sir Brad Frasier 
- Consultant
Sir Codeine- European Correspondent
- Sir Dawg
- Bi-continental US and UK Correspondent
- emc
- North American Correspondent, Writer
- Sir Elvis
- European Correspondent
- Sir Hinoa
- Occasional US Correspondent
- Lady Keitei
- US Correspondent, Writer
- L.J. Lego, KBE
- US Correspondent, Writer
Mordillo- Middle Eastern Correspondent, low quality mike holder and bad accents extraordinaire.
- Sir Olipro
- European Correspondent, Writer, Podcast Maintainer, Got Pwned by Zim
- Sir Rangeley
- US Correspondent, Writer
- Sir Severian
- US Correspondent, Writer
- The UnIdiot
- US Correspondent, Writer
- Zana Dark
- US Correspondent, alleged female
- Braydie
- UK Correspondent
- Contestant
- US Correspondent
Fezzul- European Correspondent (with certain Middle Eastern entanglements)
- Flyingfeline
- UK Correspondent and occasional writer
- FreeMorpheme
- European Correspondent
David Gerard- London Correspondent (Australian), Writer
GreaseMonkey- Oceania Correspondent (New Zealand, Australia, Polynesia), Writer, Drama Student, Accent Impersonator (Ey wahnt seex bottles of woine mayte.)
- Insineratehymn
- US Correspondent
- Jobot37
- US Correspondent
Jules Ismail (aka The Roachy Jay)- Canadian at heart, notable Internet personality
- Kenvalyi
- Canadian Correspondent, Typist
- MichaelHax
- US Correspondent, Attention Whore
- MNM5150
- US Correspondent, worst microphone ever
NeoZidane - UK and Middle Eastern Correspondent (you know, that place with crazy Arabs and bombs and oil)
- NickJonesUSA
- US Correspondent (briefly NickLucas)
- OnePunch
- Australian Correspondent, Writer
- RAHB
- US Correspondent, writer
- SirIsaac
- US Correspondent, inarticulate
- SirNuke
- US Correspondent
-
GustavSysRq - US Correspondent, Writer
- Zombiebaron
- Undead Correspondent; on sabbatical
Other writers whose stuff got broadcast[edit]
Acrolo- Ahadwick
Aineolach- Aleister in Chains
- Armando Perentie
- 02BarryC
- Bdude
- Bladetip
- Clemens177
- Composure1
- CScott
- Danny Himself
Feureau
Funnybony- Guildensternenstein
- Gustav
- Happytimes
- Hawthorn Peebles
- Hindleyite
- Hobelhouse
- Hrodulf
- IronLung
- Isra1337
- JackOfSpades
Jonny appleseed- Kip the Dip
- KnaveOfWonderland
Lctmu- Londonmammoth
- Lordarcadian
- Matt lobster
- Mhaille
- Modusoperandi
- Noonshine
- Prettiestpretty
- Raliter
- Rcmurphy
- Savethemooses
Scofield- Shadsy
Sikon- Smuggler
- SnoopY
- Some user
- Spang
- Striker2117
- The Thinker
- thetoastman
- Tritefantastic
- Tshell
- Uncle J
- Username18
- Weebils
- Sir David, the Weasel of Wild
- The Woodburninator
- Zaui
