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37,243 articles in Canadian, eh?
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Today's featured article
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Today's featured article – Rastadon
The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer.
The Rastadon was discovered on February 3, 2007, by one Dr. Professor Ima Walrus, who got his Ph.D. in Zoology at Gotham University, as well as Tom Freebird, who had a B.A. in Sociology, and a minor in Taylor Swift, from Michigan Tech. Their historic discovery was found fifty miles north of Rastos, Nebraska. To date, only one skeleton of a Rastadon has ever been found, where it is currently still in active use. After many tests, Dr. Professor Walrus and Mr. Freebird found that the Rastadon's turn-offs included tobacco cigarettes, uniforms, sirens, and corporate life. Whereas its turn-ons included: pistachio ice cream, herbal medicine, large hollow plastic figurines with pipes sticking out of them, and snack foods. (more...)
The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
- ... bingo is the 3rd biggest killer of seniors, ranking just after posing for pictures with wild bears?
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In the news
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On this day...
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May 23: Stoat Molesting Night
- 818 - The Force is disturbed for the first time.
- 1783 - Due to a lack of women, American pioneers settle for stoats.
- 1828 - Soap factory accident creates marshmallows.
- 1829 - Marshmallow factory accident creates tupperware.
- 1834 - The Force puts a DO NOT DISTURB sign on her door.
- 1913 - Igor Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring is first performed in Paris. It is a huge success and nobody riots, not even a little. He then releases Rite of Spring: The Next Generation and The Rite of Spring III: Hello Kitty's Zombie Awakening on Ice to underwhelming acclaim.
- 1976 - Syracuse, New York begins the annual Punch an Old Person Festival. It results in 128,693 fatalities.
- 1985 - The Force is disturbed by its obnoxious roommate at 3 a.m. The Force becomes pissed.
- 2000 - B.O. level in Otakon reaches intolerable levels, government issues airstrikes.
- 2001 - TimeWarner merges with Canadian Canned WormsTM.
- 2002 - Canadian Canned WormsTM TimeWarner buys Microsoft.
- 2006 - Ask Hal 9000 created.
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Prime Minister and Canuck of the Month
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Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon, Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon, Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon, Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon.
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Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear.
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Vote for Prime Minister of the Month | Vote for Canuck of the Month | Vote for Moose of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
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