Babel:Pd

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the dead encyclopedia that Ned can reanimate.
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Today's featured corpse

Clown alledgedly threatened by Bryce Von Deenis.

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

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Did you know...

*... that the sport of water polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... the person that was sitting next to you and jerking off during fire scenes in Only the Brave just might have been a pyromaniac?
  • ... that the sport of water polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... the person that was sitting next to you and jerking off during fire scenes in Only the Brave just might have been a pyromaniac?
  • ... that the sport of water polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... the person that was sitting next to you and jerking off during fire scenes in Only the Brave just might have been a pyromaniac?
  • ... that the sport of water polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?

Latest murders

Past murders...

Aware NOW, eh?

April 29: Meatball Awareness Day, Five Second Rule Fatalities Memorial Day

  • 2400 BCE - In the earliest recorded instance of a Dear John letter, Cleopatra leaves her husband Caesar using a well-placed papyrus scroll.
  • c.1755 BCE - The five second rule is instituted in the Code of Hammurabi. It is quickly determined that dogs can't tell time nor do they obey human laws.
  • 115 CE - The Kitos War between Romans and Jews is ignited when Jews are required to replace matzah balls with meatballs.
  • 1047 - Pope Clement II changes the five second rule to the ten second rule, extending his life by five seconds before being poisoned.
  • 1429 - Joan of Arc leads an army in relief of besieged Orléans, carrying tons of meatballs for its defenders. Those in Orléans would later note that while appreciating the gesture, the overcooked meatballs could have been better used as cannonballs to destroy the besieging army.
  • 1770 - James Cook lands at Botany Bay, Australia and is immediately bitten by a snake, a spider, a goanna, a sand shark, dingoes and a wombat. As he crawls back to his boat, he looks over his shoulder to see a bunyip mooning him. This traditional greeting would fail to impress.
  • 1862 - New Orleans falls to Union forces under Admiral David Farragut. Ironically, 100 years later, Union forces prove the eventual undoing of the manufacturing sector.
  • 1945 - The German military in Italy unconditionally surrenders to the Allies. Later, Allied forces would attribute their swift victory to the food allergies of the German forces, specifically to meatballs.
  • 1954 - On a dare, a group of drunken Oxford engineering students builds Stonehenge in just under 5 hours in the middle of the night.
  • 1968 - The controversial musical Hair, based on an Oscar Wilde work, opens on Broadway.
  • 1988 - Video kills the Radio Star. Video is promptly arrested.
  • 2004 - The most famous episode of The Osbournes airs, with Ozzy trying to figure out how to eat a meatball using a lawnmower.
Pie of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie


[vote]

U2-down-and-out.jpg

U2-down-and-out.jpg - 19 total votes ( 23 / 4 )
U2-down-and-out.jpg

During the late 1990s, the band U2 fell on hard times.

Image credit: RadicalX

Recent Pie Recipes

Mike Johnson (pictured) | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten | Taylor Swift | Praey for the gods‎‎ | Henry Kissinger | Sandra Day O'Connor | Battle for Dream Island | Rastadon | Quintana Roo | Digestive system | The Sims 4 | Ahsoka (TV series) | King Charles II | The Man from U.N.C.L.E.‎‎ | Antimony | William Pitt the Elder | Tally Hall | Ron DeSantis | Bugatti Veyron‎‎ |


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Detective and Piemaker of the Month

Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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