Martian Manhunter
“My heart may have been on the other side, but that didn't mean he couldn't steal it.”
“Get a haircut you hippy!”
Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onzz), also known as Chuck Jones is a shape shifter and an extraterrestrial superhero that appears in comic books published by DC Comics. The character first appeared as an illegal alien who is hired by the Justice League of America when the organization began outsourcing off-world.
Biology[edit]
Like the Platypus, Martians are mammals but lay eggs. Mars and Krypton may be light years apart but both can see through walls and have a fatal weakness, in the Kryptonians case, rare meteors from the destruction of their homeworld, and in the Martians, an angry protestor with a lighter and an alcohol soaked rag in a bottle. Like an earth ghost, the Martians can fly through solid walls, they can also turn into animals, but not a car as Plastic Man can, and if Martian Manhunter turns into a squid unlike Beast Boy it won't have any ink. Martians also noticeably can't turn into a bucket of water, making Metamorpho and the Wonder Twins the ones the Star City fire department keep on speed dial.
Origins[edit]
Soon after hatching J'onn heard of the works of Oscar Wilde from John Carter, and soon went after him on a silver surfboard made out of the Mars Pathfinder, bestowed to him by the great face on mars as part of his journey into adulthood, the ancient Martian rite of passage known as homeless vagrancy around the solar system.
After returning home from vacation, J’onn discovered that in his absence his people had frozen to death, though highly technologically advanced they were unwilling to invent fire and like the Thanagarians were averse to putting on shirts so their cold green blood froze during a particularly harsh winter beneath their red straps. Thus for J'onzz', homeless vagrancy across the solar system would never end. As fate would have it, he soon found himself hitching a ride from a scientist back to earth aboard a teleportation beam; which had it been at all consensual he would have no doubt agreed to experience anyways, adventurous and inquiring spirit that he was.
When he arrived on earth the scientist assured him that abducting him from his home world was an accident, he wasn't going to dissect or enslave him and that the Martian Manhunter was free to go, but now that he was here anyways, would he mind being a real sport and doing a bunch of hard to do thankless odd jobs around town and not getting paid for it at all? Martian Manhunter forgave him for the mishap, saying that he liked his new home on Earth a lot more than his old one on Mars anyways and that he agreed that volunteering and make use of your special abilities for your local community at no cost is important, thus beginning his life as a civic minded illegal immigrant in the big city.
Life on Earth[edit]
On January 1947 J'onn was finally given his green card and no longer had to fear deportation from NASA. J'onn was an instant overnight sensation with the ladies, because he was found wandering around with no pants on and could tell what they wanted in a relationship. Just like his fellow extra terrestrial migrant Superman, he saved the world from Lex Luthor, The Joker, Giant Puppies, and Madonna. He once dated Wonder Woman until he decided he didn't swing that way and became capable of asexual reproduction, deciding to leave the shape shifting prostitution to Plastic Man. After that he joined The Justice League, actually started wearing pants and took on a more Human-like appearance.
He disguises as a black man named John Jones, thus being the Justice League's technical second black member, after Cyborg. Black Vulcan would not join the League until later.
Swayzak, who idolized the Manhunter in his youth, is currently scheming one of his most diabolical plans yet: being involved in a relationship with J'onn. Harvey Birdman supports his adopted son's mission, as he himself is was gay for Black Vulcan.
Villains[edit]
J'onn J'onzz was a green superhero in the 1950's, a time when a green man couldn't look at a human woman with his martian vision in some places DC comics were sold, much less lay a hand on them to catch them falling out a window. Although as shape shifters physical appearance has little meaning, and as psychics they can feel one another's pain, Martians still managed to somehow be racist to one another, as the war like white martians warred with the peaceful green martians, like Athens and Sparta but on Ares home turf of Mars. Eventually the white martians with the help of Martian Manhunter's back stabbing brother Ma'alefa'ak, invented a fatal martian burning plague that killed most everyone he knew by the early 90's.
In 1998 DC’s writers finally blew the layer of martian dust that had accumulated over the years off their unopened copies of Martian Manhunter and realized he didn't really have any villains they could name off hook hand like Black Manta, so they gave him an evil sibling like Ocean Master. A-Mortal and the Hyperclan sound like a bad metal band more than aliens whose names are coincidentally in English.
Television[edit]
Martian Manhunter has recently been seen in the tabloids with his niece M'gann M'orzz's best friend Supergirl, leading to a bit of a fallout between Martian Manhunter and Superman, the man of steel having J’onn and Kara blacklisted from appearing in the DC Extended Universe and banished to the phantom zone of T.V., with the rest of the 2nd tier super heroes that can't be trusted to headline their own multi million dollar motion picture.
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