UnNews:Disney's Tigger takes stern action against copyright violators

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

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UnNews

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Saturday, April 27, 2024, 09:29:59 (UTC)

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9 January 2007

Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.

DON'T COPY THAT FLOPPY. OR ELSE.

EPCOT OF BROKEN DREAMS, Orlando, Saturday (U! News) -- A Disneyworld worker has been commended after punching a copyright-disrespecting visitor to the theme park. The Lessig family from New Hampshire were at the park in Florida when the valiant defender of creative rights, dressed in his Tigger® armor, dealt the iPod-toting music thief a killer blow to the head.

"iPods are normally considered a protected species in Disneyworld since Steve reverse-Borged us too," said the disembodied computer-hosted soul of Walt Disney, "but when we went over the corpse, we discovered this one had MP3s on it, not just music or video paid for in the proper legal supported manner from iTunes. So they were obviously stolen."

Walt's soul was decanted to a computer in 1966 so as to avoid his ever being declared actually dead, thus enabling him to avoid starting the ticker for copyright in his works to ever, ever run out. He claims the move also enhanced his emotional responses, at least as used for business sense.

The boy's father, Shawn "Fanning" Lessig, caught the incident on video, but was thankfully taken down by a hail of bullets from Piglet® as soon as trademarked and copyrighted Disney characters were imaged on his video camera.

Sources

• C.R. Milne "I shoulda got Kevin J. Anderson to write the sequels". The Hundred Acre Coke Bucket, January 8, 2007