UnNews:Exclusive: Saddam's gardener executed, Saddam at large
| We distort, you deride | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Monday, April 29, 2024, 02:12:59 (UTC) |
| Exclusive: Saddam's gardener executed, Saddam at large | 
|
1 January 2007
 |
UnNews Audio (file info) |
| Listen to this story! | |
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope. |
|
IRAQ -- A shocking announcement was made today by the Iraqi and American authorities. It has been revealed that in a awful case of mistaken identity, it was in fact former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's gardener, who was found and captured in 2003, triled, sentenced, and executed. Saddam is at large.
"Thinkin' about it now, that was kinda stupid." said Captain H.Billy, of the U.S Marines. "But as nobody else seemed to notice, it wasn't our fault. But we now have an entire year ahead of us to find the real Saddam!"
Saddam's Gardener, Abdul Titchmarsh, had been working for him for eight years, and was allegedly attempting to create the world's largest container garden when he was captured by American forces in December 2003. Apparently though, whenever he tried to tell his captors his true identity, he was always interrupted by something "more important."
In a press conference, a spokesman for the Iraqi police said "We have no idea how this incident has happened. We were led to Saddam's hideout by one of his highest officals, Muhammed Saeed Al-Sahaf, who told us that he was "most cetainly there" and the man inside was "most certainly him." We believed him!"
Coalition forces now have to search for Saddam all over again, but are confident that they have "no idea" where he is.
British police believe he may be in hiding somewhere in England, but said today, "If you think you see Saddam, do not approach him, or try to attack or capture him, as this is most likely Ahmed from the corner shop, not Saddam."
More as it comes in.
Sources[edit]
- BBC News report, "on "Saddam's Gardener"". BBC.co.uk, December 29, 2006