UnNews:HMS Endeavour found, then lost again

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4 February 2022

Captain Cook lays claim to New Holland (later renamed to Australia for PR related reasons).

NEWPORT, Rhode Island -- Australian historians in the United States have located the HMS Endeavour after 200 years — and then lost it again.

The Endeavour was the first British ship to sail to Australia. Captain James Cook meandered around the South Pacific and finally landed on Australia's East Coast, claiming the land for King James in 1770. It successfully disgorged its cargo of prison convicts, who promptly told the crew to "piss off". They obligingly did so; then, in 1788, the Endeavour played a decisive role in the American War of Independence — by sinking into the harbor here.

Now personnel from the Australian National Maritime Museum, whose archeologists have been investigating shipwrecks since the turn of the century, have found wreckage they are sure are the remains of the Endeavour. Museum chief Kevin Sumption points to several telltale signs, among them, that the length of the hull "is almost exactly the same as" that of the Endeavour — using the phrase from Australian dialect that means, "is different from". Mr. Sumption also notes that the wreckage is precisely where history states that the Endeavour sank, and it is undeniably a ship, with foremast and mainmast just as Endeavour would have had.

Mr. Sumption envisages returning the ship to Australia, where Americans could pay to see it, rather than pay to rent fins and air tanks to see it.

However, the Rhode Island Marine Archeology Project has stated, "Not so fast." Dr. Kathy Abbass said the disposition of the wreck "will be driven by a proper scientific process and not Australian emotions or politics". Dr. Abbass, a graduate of Grievance Studies at Johnson & Wales College who minored in soufflés, said there are major discrepancies that must be resolved before it can be turned over to Australia.

She notes that the name of the famous captain is James Hook, not James Cook. "I am a big Peter Pan fan and I have watched the Disney movie at least twenty times," she said. She added that the very name of the ship is misspelled. "There are many unanswered questions that could overturn such an identification," she said, though she promised a "legitimate report" as soon as the discrepancies are cleared up. The report will clarify whether the wreckage should be returned to Australia as part of its national heritage, or perhaps sent to Walt Disney World as the basis for a new ride at the Florida theme park.

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