Babel:Nk

로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 37,242 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution. Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...

Today's Party Column Today's featured article – Rastadon The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer. The Rastadon was discovered on February 3, 2007, by one Dr. Professor Ima Walrus, who got his Ph.D. in Zoology at Gotham University, as well as Tom Freebird, who had a B.A. in Sociology, and a minor in Taylor Swift, from Michigan Tech. Their historic discovery was found fifty miles north of Rastos, Nebraska. To date, only one skeleton of a Rastadon has ever been found, where it is currently still in active use. After many tests, Dr. Professor Walrus and Mr. Freebird found that the Rastadon's turn-offs included tobacco cigarettes, uniforms, sirens, and corporate life. Whereas its turn-ons included: pistachio ice cream, herbal medicine, large hollow plastic figurines with pipes sticking out of them, and snack foods. (more...) Recently featured: The Addams Family Finnish sauna The B-52s Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – The Addams Family The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. (more...) You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device edit Our glorious history May 13: Much Rejoicing Day (International) 28 – Jesus come home drunk at 3.45 in the morning, Mary wants him out of the house and get a job. There is much rejoicing. 29 – The Virgin Mary loses her virginity to the god from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. There is much rejoicing. 402 – Aliens land in South America, planning to meet up with the Aztecs but are several hundred years too early. There is much rejoicing by the Aztecs. 932 – Due to the strong Winter, Arthur and his men were forced to eat Robin's minstrels... and there was much rejoicing. 1568 – The forces of Mary Queen of Scotch are defeated by Irish Whiskey freedom–fighters. There is much rejoicing. 1776 – America is founded by Stephen Colbert. Ironically, he ventures on to making satire comments about himself. Obama is fucking pissed but who gives a damn? There is much rejoicing. 1846 – The United Spades of Amerika declares war on Mexico due to a shortage of taco sauce. There is some rejoicing, but not enough to be classified as "much" rejoicing. 1917 – Three peasant children claim to have seen a vision of the Virgin Mary near Fatima, Portugal. They deny it has anything to do with the marijuana they found growing there. There is much rejoicing. 1958 – John Velcro rubs a balloon on his head, sticks it to the wall. There is much rejoicing. 1966 – A Belgian boy described as a hero in a legendary prophesy is born. There is much rejoicing. 1968 – The Belgian boy described above dies of an HIV infection. There is still much rejoicing. 1969 – The Malays decided Chinese people should go back to their homeland (Tibet) and started killing them. About a billion Chinese people were sent to the hospital where they were actually killed because most hospitals at that time were operated by Malays. There is much rejoicing. 1973 – Prince Charles officially opens the first Kitten Molestation Contest. There is much rejoicing. 1992 – Sharon Stone gets laid on TV for the first time in history. There is much rejoicing. 2003 – Saturday Night Live is still on the air, despite protests and an economic blockade by Cuba. There is little rejoicing. 2002 – Keith Richards dies for the 38,763rd time. There is much rejoicing. 2004 – May 13, 2005 is celebrated on May 13,2004 by the National Time Travelers Club. There is much rejoicing. 2005 – The god from Monty Python and the Holy Grail sues eBay claiming that Virgin Mary on the grilled cheese sandwich that was sold for $80,000 was not a virgin after all. In a remote town in southern Zimbabwe, there is much rejoicing. 2008 – Dave Chappelle sues the Queen of England for using his copyrighted word BYAH. Howard Dean isn't amused either for he wanted to be the only one in politics saying it. James Madison returned to the throne as the President of the United States. There is much rejoicing. 2010 – Nuclear missiles are finally launched at Finland. There is much rejoicing. 2012 – People rejoice. There is much rejoicing. 2840 – Humans prove that their Civilization–Location–Time estimation technology is better then the aliens'. There is much rejoicing. Circa 5600 – The universe exploded due to too much rejoicing. There is much rejoicing. Complete, fully accessible party archives	Today's hangul word is fast Use this word to awe your enemies.
	edit Today in the DPRK Ukraine minister charged with corruption French guard Buckingham Palace (pictured) Congressman inadvertently uses hurtful slur, millions traumatized Royal shock as original photo discovered Biden v Trump rematch confirmed UK bans puberty for children Germany spills British military secrets Scientists meld nuclear fusion and AI Brits make book on King Charles cancer U.S. returns to the moon Miami aliens finger new Epstein clients Israel boasts of precision in bombings it didn't do Ukraine destroys large Russian warship, again GOP will have no candidates in 2024 Argentina goes off the deep end Rodong Sinmun, page 2 edit It is an irreputable fact... ... the film Casablanca takes 102 minutes to tell the story of a guy who gets his ex and her husband to the airport? You cannot deny... ... that this page will self-destruct in 5 seconds? More wisdom
edit Recently published Anti-Zionism (pictured) | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten | Taylor Swift | Praey for the gods‎‎ | Henry Kissinger | Sandra Day O'Connor | Battle for Dream Island | Rastadon | Quintana Roo | Digestive system | The Sims 4 | Ahsoka (TV series) | King Charles II | The Man from U.N.C.L.E.‎‎ | Antimony | William Pitt the Elder | Tally Hall More recent stories | You have a voice | Revisionism | Build our country | Isolationists | Democracy | Help your party
Party members of the month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.

	UnNews The news source on crack		Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia		Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
	UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper		Games Another way to waste time		HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything
	UnBooks Content-free books		Unquotable Useless misquotes galore		Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it
	UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry		UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues		UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
	Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice		UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck		UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock!
			UnCommons Broken media repository

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,242 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
	Désencyclopédie Français France 10073	Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708	偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143	伪基百科 汉语 Commie China 8411
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2224	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 11	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 8281	Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 4	Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 4
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170
​	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
​	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258	Neciclopedie Română Romania 174	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303
​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

If you find Rodong Sinmun or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

• International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies — various causes, including Asian floods, relief in the Middle East, Haiti, and aid for Hurricane Katrina to build a New New Orleans
• Disasters Emergency Committee — earthquake relief, Niger aid; ideal for mediocre British taxpayers as Gordon Brown gives a bit as well
• UNICEF — African AIDS relief, child health services, etc.
• Save Darfur — donate to help provide aid to the ongoing genocide in Darfur
• Donate to Japan. Seriously.

---

• Join Uncyclopedia's Folding@home Team — Help the world while doing very little work
• Free Rice of the UN World Food Program: play some games, feed hungry people

For party-approved meetings among citizens, see this government declaration.

Protected by nuclear missiles, and an elite clan of fanatics.