UnNews:Fake Affordable Care meets fake repeal

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Where man always bites dog ✪ UnNews ✪ Tuesday, May 14, 2024, 14:27:59 (UTC)
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5 May 2017

One high-cheekboned Senator exults in a new round of Republican "Indian-giving."

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- By the slimmest of margins, the House of Representatives has passed a bill to finally "repeal and replace" Obama-care.

The second attempt at passage occurred Wednesday. The first attempt did not occur at all, but the vote was cancelled, as even losers are not anxious to put that fact to a vote.

House Bill 1628, the American Health Care Act, does not exactly repeal Obama-care and does not exactly replace it. The bill now goes to the U.S. Senate. Assuming the Republican Party does not shoot itself in the foot, again, and assuming 8 Democrats cross over and support it, and why wouldn't they? the bill will formally confirm that medical services are a Human Right, leaving walking along the river as the thing you have to pay through the nose for, unless you are supposed to be walking along the Mexican side of the river.

The Liberty [sic] Caucus objected that the previous bill left Washington in control of what was inside every insurance policy. They were brought on board as the current version was amended to "throw it back to the states," which Speaker Paul Ryan called "federalism." States will now be able to apply for waivers of these mandates. The exception will apply to every state in which:

  1. Republicans run the legislature, and
  2. A Republican is the Governor, and
  3. Republicans are not split down the middle, leaving it to Democrats to choose their legislative leaders, and
  4. Republicans want to take the heat for pulling away "free" stuff after weeks of committee hearings where witnesses borrow toddlers and walking canes and wallow in self-pity.
No one in Washington even asked voters to "Read My Lips."

The exception will apply through January 2021, while Donald Trump and his Health Secretary will grant the waivers (unless Mr. Trump caves on this like he did on the Mexican Border Wall). The exception will expire thereafter; states will have the right to request waivers, while President Elizabeth Warren's Health Secretary will have the right not to answer their mail.

Both parties agree that two groups should remain fully protected: Americans who wait to buy insurance until one day before their surgery; and adults who refuse to move out of their parents' basements. And Mexicans.

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy hailed the vote as "the first step" toward full repeal, although every Representative now has a health care vote — one way or the other — to tout to his voters, and will have no appetite to cast another, nor even shed a crocodile tear if the bill dies in the Senate.

However, citizens can treat the AHCA as a done deal. This, and the four-month spending bill just passed, means Republicans are steering the nation to the right. Barack Obama's priorities are now dead on Capitol Hill, as all of them are stuck inside the spending bill. In fact, Mr. Ryan did not claim that this surrender "clears the deck" for victory on the yearly budget in September, though Mr. Trump tweeted that "the nation could use a government shutdown"...next time.

Public reaction was immediate. On CBS television, comedian Stephen Colbert "joked" that Mr. Trump was a cocksucker. The remark produced a momentary groundswell for his firing, but he saved his job by apologizing to cocksuckers.

Sources[edit]

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